LIFE IS A STAGE
RAPTUROUS LOVE
RHAPSODY

Monday, September 07, 2009 - 3:13 PM


Hello Wello Jellos!

In case anyone might be wondering why haven't I been blogging.
Truth be told, I've moved. Well, I didn't have the heart to delete this site of mine, so I shall just leave it stagnant here.

I love my new blog right now. Go check it out @

PONYDUSTZ.ONSUGAR.COM

Sometimes you just have to put down certain things in life to be able to move on. Well, I'm slowly trying to put down my past, let it all flow out of me, & just embrace of what's to come next.

This will be my last entry here on princess-joyy.blogspot.com.

I love you all babies! (: xoxo, Joy Molina.

Sunday, August 30, 2009 - 9:26 AM

"Without you, I'll crumble."

Friday, went to school again to get my lappy fixed. Some unknown person I didn't know helped me then Patrick, insist on helping me with my lappy, he's really nice. Thumbs up to him! (: Spent a few hours there I think, then cabbed down to Gerald's place. We had dinner at Thomson area, & I stayed over.

Friday night which is Saturday early morning, I dreamt about death & everything felt so real, I woke up, the first thing I remembered was turning left & right, finding you. You were not there. This sparked the emotions in me. I called you, you were out of hse. I needed you. I wanted to hug you. You came home, & crashed to bed immediately. My heart ached, I held back my tears. I wished you knew how I felt..

Most of the time when I turn in, you would always leave my side after a few minutes, just why can't you stay? It makes me feel as though a poker chip. I stay over just to feel your arms around me everytime I fall asleep but every night I'm over at your place, I fall asleep all by myself. I shouldn't have come huh, I should have just stayed home & sleep on my own comfy bed. Perhaps I complain too much. Perhaps I desire too much. I should just live with it.

Anyway, he woke up late, our initially plans were all canceled. Is it upsetting? Yes. Why? Because you & I totally have different sleeping timings. *Am not gonna carry on complaining. Must stop must stop ): Moving on... We went to town to get his hair cut as his attachment is starting tmrw! Byebye curly wurly hair of yours. So less time spent with boyfriend I guess. Dinner at TCC plus my favourite Java Chip from Starbucks. At midnight, tried staying awake to watch the Man U versus Arsenal's match. I managed to only watch up to Arsenal scoring 1 goal, then I had to crash to bed. Again, the bed had so much space as usual. Sigh.. Okay, I won't carry on whining like a bitch.

It's currently raining.. I'm waiting for Dad to come pick me up. I'm gonna leave Gerald's side with a sad side of me ): I'm so gonna miss my boy. I'm still contemplating if I should work, all my friends have started & quit their first day of work, will I be like them too? I'm not sure. Gaahh.. I'm supposed to be one of the ambassador for the F1 Photo Exhibition today, but I told them I couldn't make it, felt so bad if they I short of one person. Anyway, the week has pass by so fast in the blink of an eye. I heard the iphone has arrived, I'm gonna drag my Mommy out of the house to get it and along with other stuff I wanna buy. I hope she's free.. :D

On a side note, I talked to yw not long ago. We managed to actually just say whatever we want, which was pretty good. It's so funny how we could actually be on good terms now. But I guess you know sometimes your friends rather choose a guy over you, what to do. Tsk tsk.. One day, we will just laugh at the outcome & consequences of your relationship. Hahaha! Am I right yw? Well, you think you have been through much with him, I tell you one day you'll know, one day you'll see, one day you'll find out with your own self realisation. Even so, regret. Who knows? I don't know. I'm just waiting to see. Goodluck since you think he's so worth it in your eyes (: Word of advice: A leopard will never ever change its spots.









If you're the bird that flies away from me, I'd be the tree you can come home to. Anytime.

Do you have a plaster?
Because I scraped my knee falling for you

Thursday, August 27, 2009 - 2:23 PM

"I love you for who you are."

Monday, woke up a little late so didn't study much. Headed down to school, felt good (: Math UT3 was alright, initially it was damn easy but the later part was quite tough. After that, headed straight back home. Bumped into Kyser in the bus, it was great seeing him, now that he's doing fine. Came home, revised for Comms & as usual set aside time to talk to my baby!

Tuesday, was glad it was the last paper. Finally I'm done with Semester 1, cheerios Joy! Everything went good, went home with Candice. Had a really nice chat with her [: Well, she managed to follow me down for the interview, thanks dear! After that, headed back home & my lappy gave me problems. The next day, I had to head all the way down to school to get it fixed.

Coincidentally, Sister was in school, so met up with her for awhile. I love having small talks with her, it's when I get to know how she is & all.. We shared Western's chicken cutlet together, & I had my green apple snow with mixed fruit jelly while she had her green tea bubble tea with mixed fruit jelly. Heh! ^^ Soon after, cabbed down to Gerald's hse, I was so happy to see him! :D I initially planned to go home but in the end, I overslept till past midnight so decided to just stay over. My baby was so sick yesterday, I woke up to have checks on him, I was so worried. If I could, I would rather take all the pain away from you. Now he has gone to school for exams, I'm just waiting for him to come back home! I love you sweetheart. As the days go by, I would, want & am willing to stay beside you to take care of you.. I love you so much Gerald. All I want right now is to hug you & just lie beside you, look into your eyes. Because it's been so long since we just enjoyed one another's presence without doing anything. Because doing nothing is = our everything. Heehee. I love you. & I'll love you through it all..

Gerald is a damn good sweet talker..
Gerald: "You know I said I painted the sky blue for you? But you see the rainbow that appears randomly. The colours were painted in such a way that it reflected what you brought into my life; which in a nutshell means you brought colours into my life (:"

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Sometimes I always wonder, why do we read someone else's blog. Or in fact "stalk" them everyday whenever we can. Because they lead an extravagant life? They are the so-called "pretty/hunky" person? Or we just have to catch up with their life, knowing the most latest and juicy news? Well, I don't know, but you name them all. I'm sick and tired of even going through some friend's blog for example, thinking about it, it doesn't even benefit my life in any way. My life right now, I would say is much more amazing than yours, period. The bottom line, everyone has their own life, you mould your life.

The world is getting faker each days, girls or whoever trying to be someone they're not. Trying to get hold of attention. Take for example, The New Paper face & the F1 Grid Girls! Haha. Most people would agree that whoever who joins are all 'cui' a.k.a ugly girls. It just happens, maybe they just wanna gain recognition. But boys, would of cos think that they are awesome, having the biggest boobs, sexiest legs, wearing skimply, etc.. Then again, if you stop & think, people should love you for who you really are. At the end of the day, we are are humans, we die.





Would you love me in 5years time, 10, 20...? Oh boy, tell me...

When I thought our love was everything
I'm surrendering my all to you

Sunday, August 23, 2009 - 11:19 PM

"You are just simply amazing."

Yesterday, headed down to school to mug with Danial & Gayathri. Well, it was good, everything went well. Both of them left & I was alone after 6pm+. Decided to head back home & the bus took forever to come, so I tried waiting for a cab, but there was none in sight. Took the bus when it finally came but alighted & took the cab after. Gerald was waiting for me at my place, finally got to see him after 2 weeks. It's worth the wait, right hon? (: I was so excited to see him. You give me butterflies in my stomach whenever I see you still, you make me one happy girl, I swear no guy have ever done this much for me. My past relationship boys were just useless shitbags. I think whoever they are dating now, are "mhmmm, you can feel in this space (haha!)" & they took my leftovers which I think I don't need anymore. Hahaha! Have fun with it manxz. So back to my boy, he stayed over, his company was simply priceless.

As usual, I ended up going to bed earlier than him. He slept in while I headed to church this morning with Daddy & Brother. Went for lunch then back home. Studied till evening & went for dinner at the usual place- Red House at East Coast Park. Awesome food = Fatty bombom Joy. Who to blame? Gerald Lee Wei-en? Yes, of course him. If not who? Hahaha! :D Anyway, it's past 11pm, I'm tired from revising. I miss my baby.. 2 more UTs to go, goodluck to me!

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How far would you go for the one you love?

It takes a hell lot to even die for someone, but someone you truly love, it's without a doubt.. Also, about Greed. Okie, I can go on & on about this topic. I guess it's better to do some own reflections. So as to see, Sunday come & go that fast. It's already night. & it's not about chasing & keeping yourself on track to catch up with everyone every day. Trying to stay online, keeping in contact with the rest of the world, checking up on their status, wondering what they are doing, then your cell rings & the list goes on.. Tsk.. Don't you find yourself trying to or doing that every day. Cause I do sometimes. That sometimes, I find I'm losing who I am.. One minute you're alive, the other you'd dead. Just looking at the recent news. It's kinda sad. Just because we're trying to pace ourselves with not only the world but cyber world. & anticipating is not something most of us would not do nowadays. We simply rush through our lives..

Sometimes it's just good to disconnect yourself from the world whenever you can. To stop & smell the roses, to be grateful for all you have - your career, an education, a shelter, a family, a lover, food on the table, a healthy body etc... & appreciate whatever comes your way tmrw. People should really learnt that. Life is a blessing, it is a journey, not a destination.

Having you in my arms, Gerald, is a blessing. I love you, thanks for everything from the beginning up till now. Xoxo, goodnight! (:













Pull myself together, it'll be alright.

I don't mind living in a man's world
As long as I can be a woman in it

Friday, August 21, 2009 - 7:31 PM

"You are really my world, it revolves around you."

Monday, class was alright. Math was kinda nerve-wrecking at the end, that my team mates got me so pissed off I flared up at them, felt bad in the end :\ So anyway, after school stayed back with a few of them to study. Studied till 7pm plus and I couldn't take it anymore. Bused home with Danial and it was the most hilarious ride ever. There was this Indian guy sitting in front of us in the bus, then we spotted an insect on his hair so we presumed the insect landed there. Suddenly, we saw another one, & both of us got damn hyped up. Haha! We were laughing our asses off and talking rubbish. In the end, we moved to the back seats :D Danial, you are so mean! You videod me one time when I dozed off in the bus, you're a meanie beanie! Humphhh..

Tuesday, very little pple came to class. During the day, many left too which resulted to less than 20 of us left in the class. But everything still went alright. Thomas gave me a Subway cookie, it isn't that bad to be class reps after all. Haha! Ended pretty early so headed to the library with Danial. Studied & studied till 7pm+ till Brother came to pick me up & back home!

Wednesday, was kinda shocked to see my classmates alrdy in class when I came cos usually I'm the first few earliest. So anyway, I woke up at 6am+ just to revise & Enterprise Skills UT3 went alright, just that I made alot of careless mistakes as usual. I need to correct my habits like reading the question thoroughly & all, I also have a habit of seeing something as another. Gaah :\ After school, stayed back in school to revise for Science. It was a major killer, it was killing my brain cells, was really really sleepy, thanks to my period for coming at the right time -.- Urgh. Brother came to fetch me home arnd 7pm+, then home sweet home. Tried to revise but I had an emotional breakdown. Sigh..

Yesterday, Science went alright, although it was quite tough. Some unexpected stuff happened, like Antron not turning up for his UT3, because apparently someone jumped off the tracks at AMK station, it was quite freaky knowing it was the first day of 7th month. & Cheryl accidentally hit her laptop during UT and the comp restarted, thank God she could retrieve it and continue doing it. So after UT, went for lunch with Danial & Zackir and went to study. Well, I couldn't concentrate much due to the sleepiness and all, but I still managed to pull through. Met up with Sister for awhile too. Sometimes it feel as though we're drifting apart, we don't meet everyday, as always, I've missed you Sis ):

3 UTs down so far. Cognitive UT had to write alot today & I didn't have much time to check. Roarrr! Anyhoo, I'm in the library since 2pm+, revising for Math. Danial is here with me but he's watching youtube -.- I feel so bad for making him stay with me now. He doesn't study! Grrr.. Anyway, was supposed to meet Gerald today, in the end, we aren't meeting. Sorry darling. Well, sometimes you could only make one choice, you gotta sacrifice the other, so I guess tests comes first for now. I hope you understand. After that, you're back to my first priority when it's over, okay baby? I love you! Okay, I can't take it anymore.. I need some pampering! Shopping, massage, facial, spa pleaseeee? Purrr. Home sweet home for now. (Only if I have my driving license now) Toodles~











When lips are waiting to be kissed, longing to be kissed..

Yesterday still surrounds you
With a warm and precious memory

Sunday, August 16, 2009 - 2:08 PM

"You are my salvation to everything."

Hiieee~~
Yesterday, stayed home the whole day after attending Mass in the afternoon. Revised, slept, revised. Boy, I felt like the useless thing on earth. I have no freaking idea how nerds & all those smart people get such good grades? By mugging like a dog? Gosh..

I'm back home from church. The weather is killing me. Brother borrowed some horror DVD & I have to watch it with him. So I'll probably watch & study.. Blogger is being a bitch as I cannot upload any pictures and the format & all seemed so wrong. Why why why.. Anyhoo, I'm eating some wheatgrass pearl herbal jelly my mom insist I eat, its so so bitter! Okay this is random. I miss my boyfriend. I wish I could see him right now. Urgh. Nevermind, absence makes the heart grow fonder. I love you tofu (: Hahaha!

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I believe in you, believe in me, I believe in all the things that you've said to be. I believe in us, I believe in trust. I believe in everything, that you said would last.

Today is a very special day for me. It has been half a year I've spent with that special man, & I’ve not regret any bit of it. The one who have never fail to color my days with his love. The man who brought me out of misery & brought me to brighter days when I’m down. The one I shared my moments with. & that man is my one and only Gerald Lee..

HAPPY 6TH MONTH ANNIVERSARY SWEETHEART.
I've got the best thing in the world. Cause I got you in my heart in this screwed little world. Let's hold hands together because we can share forever. I never thought I'd use the word 'Forever' on someone else again, but I did it anyway. Maybe someday the sky will be coloured with our love...

Before I met you, I spent a lot of time meeting all kinds of people. I had a lot of fun, tears & learned a lot. Though each person I met had great characteristics. Something was missing.. No one person had all the qualities that I had hoped a person could have. Someone whose every action & thought I could respect. Someone who was very intelligent yet could also be fun-loving. Someone who was sensitive, yet virile. Exciting & sensuous. Someone who knew what they wanted out of life. A beautiful person inside & out. I could not find a person like this until I met you..

When I met you. I wasn't planning on falling in love. I wasn't planning on feeling so attracted to someone. But you awakened feelings inside of me that I'd forgotten existed. I fell in love with you at first sight anyway, when we met just at the fitness corner. When I met you, I didn't realize how much our love would grow. That the attraction that first brought us together would reach beyond passion, to the comfort of knowing I have a very special someone. I had no idea where our relationship would lead us & how beautiful you would make my world. But now I know without a doubt. The luckiest day of my life was the day I met you sweetheart. & every day I still want us to be together. Everyday I pray for the best of us... I love you darling, my one & only you, xoxo.



It's never enough to say, I love you.

Is love a game?
A win or a lose?

Saturday, August 15, 2009 - 9:10 AM

"You just keep me blown away by you."

Tuesday, finally went home after crashing over at Gerald's place. Skipped school too. I was sad I had to part with him, I hate that feeling, always. But on a lighter note, I've got some clothes & underwears from Topshop (:

Wednesday, I decided to go to school cos it's my favourite day. Besides, Nelson brought his DSLR to school. It was awesome, camwhored a little! Snapping photos with it just gives a good satisfaction, haha! After class ended, faci gave us some tibits. Gosh, I'm gonna miss her because she's one of the best & lenient faci I've come across. With only As & Bs for the whole of 15 weeks!! After school, went up to the lawn to take a few more photos then back home.. Was supposed to revise abit but ended up not doing a single work at all. Tsk tsk..

Thursday, didn't attend class but went to meet Danial in school to study. Coincidentally, I saw Justin there, he skipped class too. Studied quite abit I'll say.. Nelson came to join us after awhile. Left school & headed back home at 4pm. Initially wanted to meet Gerald but we didn't meet in the end, I was kinda sad. Went over to Grammy's place & stayed over. Sadly, Grandma was in Penang if not I could have seen her.

Yesterday, last Science module & I'm never gonna touch Science again. Thank God.. I really dislike Science. Hahaha! So oh well, everything went good. After school, my friends & I went to visit Su as she isn't feeling that good recently. I hope she'll be alright in time to come! After that, I went back home. Studied a bit & went to bed.. Had a short talk with Gerald on the phone, it was so hilarious. I wish I could take Stefen's place instead so I'll be able to meet him every day. But I guess that's just impossible :\ Reality Joy, reality..

"Men always want to be a woman’s first love. Women have a more subtle instinct: What they like is to be a man's last romance."
-Oscar Wilde

Gerald's impromptu sweetness:-
Things I love about Joy:
1) Cute
2) Sexy
3) Awesome character
4) Interesting
5) Funny
6) The X-factor that attracts me every single time I see her
Hahahahahaha. Tell me my Baby's so adorable & sweet. He's indeed one sweet talker but he amuses me and I'm very certain of his feelings for me. I love you baby!

I am up! But not yet rising. I can't sleep anymore, kept tossing & turning in bed.. I woke up seeing one message from Gerald, it was so funny, it says: "Omg baby, I got a knot in my hair." I immediately burst out laughing. How cuteee.. That wavy hair boy, time for a hair cut! But but.. You look cute with long hair instead ): So anyway, played some instrumentals as I pull back the curtains & tried to breathe in some fresh air. My all time favorite instrumental - Kiss the rain. Yeah, it holds so much meaning just hearing these symphonies. Then I thought, I had only this in mind... They say true love will last till the end of time. But then even the most boundless love can end. So then again, tell me what's real?

This weekend would soon be long gone, appreciate the goner, embrace the new week silly Joyyiee.. This weekend would probably be spent without Gerald, instead my revision will take over him. How great, uh. Nevermind, just a few more weeks to be able to see you! & tmrw's our 6th month, half a year babehh! Lurrvee youuu.




















Please stay, forever..

Why does this love
Always has to feel like a battlefield?

Monday, August 10, 2009 - 12:40 PM

"You have made me so mesmerized with you, that I want to stay with you forever."

Friday, everything in school went alright. After school, finally met up with Girlfriend. I weren't supposed to shop but in the end, I just splurge. I've been spending way too overboard. But whenever I realize that fact, it doesn't change. Hmm.. So that means, no stopping! (: So now who wants to fund my indulgence? Heh heh pleaseeee, love you all my life... Not. So after, my legs and hands were aching really bad. Cabbed down to Gerald's hse to see him & I stayed over. I love the way he will always tuck me into bed, kisses me and telling me he loves me. It's such bliss.

On a side note, some incident just made me really happy & relieved. Because of it, it also showed me how much Gerald has been there for me through all odds. I'm so thankful. He just never gives up on me, unlike friends who does. You make love ignite like it's a new miracle everyday & you make me gaze at you at all the moments you never noticed, just because I'm wondering what I possibly ever did right to deserve love like this coming from you. You mix laughter into my eyes & win smiles from my lips. You garner whispers from my heart & stubborn frowns at the most unexpected moments I love you. I love you still, & I'll love you through it all. I'll love you through this lifetime.

Saturday, lunch at Thai Express, after which I cabbed back home. In the afternoon, headed down to OLPS for some fund raising for Divine Mercy church and also for evening mass. Dinner was at East Coast Park with family, food was just good to the maxxx.

Yesterday, went over to Gerald's place. I took the MRT after so long, it feels really weird. Well, I just wanted to save some moolahs as Friday I spent like nobody's business alrdy. I tried studying abit, but as you can forsee I'm being distracted here & there by him. In the night, we were both catching the NDP on the tv. This year sadly, I didn't get tickets so I couldn't go. I've been going for the NDP almost every year, it's my favourite, I like it. I take much pride in our country (: Happy 44th Birthday Singapore! Heehee. Anyway, dinner was prepared by Gerald's Mommy. I tell you, the food was just scrumptious. –envy me please. Hahahaha! We caught a glimpse of the fireworks from his place too, perfect. Rested for awhile then we headed down to Holland V to meet Wolfgang & Vic. After which, we came back home and we called it a night.

Baby's soundly asleep now. I hope I could do some revision today. Later~

edited \ 11:59pm
Had steamboat with Gerald just now somewhere near Raffles hotel, good food. Thinking about it, I realised the months I've been with him, we've always been indulging on good food, that's why I claimed that he makes me fat! Gaaah, nevertheless, everything with him have been awesome, I love it. I'm currently studying on his bed right now while he's studying at his table. He's being so distracted by eating, having his Foot Manager game on, fiddling with his iphone and Ipod video. It seriously makes me laugh. I feel kinda sleepy, but I'm just trying to hang on. The song "Love Will Lead You Back" by Taylor Dayne is playing on my iTunes now. Nice song. & yes, I'm downloading Maplestory again. After years of not playing. I'm feeling eggcited!! Okay, back to some revision now! Mhmm, the pandan cake is spongy. Heee :D





















What would you do if I got taken away?

As long as you love me
I'll be loving you a long time

Thursday, August 06, 2009 - 7:06 PM

"I am standing by you all the way. I will back up up no matter what happens."

Monday, didn't want to go school but Nelson asked me to go so I went. In the end, he didn't turn up! So anyway, my ezlink card had no money so I had free bus trip to Khatib station. From there, I topped up my card and took the mrt to school, which made me reach school pretty early. Gaahh.. Anyway, Cognitive was damn slack as usual. Ended early and headed straight home.

Tuesday, dreaded class so much as it was Comms module, dislike my faci that was the reason why. Super moody & all, furthermore, my team mates don't contribute to the ppt except for one or 2, so I totally couldn't take it I shouted at them. I think I need anger management classes :\ Webcammed with Gerald, which made me happy once again. He was especially sweet-tongued.

Yesterday, wasn't paying much attention during class. Webcammed with Gerald, he was damn cute. He fell asleep and I swear he was even cuter. Ahhh, hahahahaha!! We were supposed to go for a talk but because it was first come first serve basis, we didn't have seats. There was a long queue I swear, later everyone starting pushing and all. Grrr.. Headed down to Causeway with my friends & we had an early dinner there (: From there, I decided to take a new bus with Catherine I never took before as I wanted to try out. Came home, oovoo-ed with Baby. It was damn good, being able to see him and talking to him is such bliss. I love you honey!

Daddy came to fetch me to school this morning. Guess what! He surprised me with mac breakfast plus some cash too! :D Hehe. Anyway, the whole class didn't turn up in red/white, such a disappointment. Tsk, at least be enthu about it manxzx. So yeah, in the morning we had the pledge moment, where every class was projected with the live video of outside where pple were reciting within RP. Science was kinda different, we didn't have to do powerpoint instead it was Q&A so it was quite slack. After school, headed straight back home & the bloody bus was again so hot! Urgh. I'm home! Feeling dead, not that tired, just dead. My nails are fugly ugly, I need a manicure! Blogger is weird when I'm home, but alright anywhere outside home. Tell me why? Why why why. So Daddy is leaving for Japan tonight, which means no one to fetch me home next week if I need to, roar. Tmrw's Friday. TGIF. I'm moodless, I have no idea what I'm typing anymore.. Off to the showers!

To that particular good friend whom I once treasured- Cos one day girl, your true friends will even turn their backs on you because the choices you made in life will be a mistake to you in the future. Go ahead, just go ahead & follow those losers. One day, you'll know... We meant well for you. But you chose to ignore our intentions. Run free, do whatever you like now. I won't say I'm disappointed in you, cos perhaps I'm just plain naive to even have trusted you. Am I hurt? You tell me. People come and go, true friends stay, that I gotta accept. Just know that some mistakes made can never be erased. You make that choice girl.















What if making that someone happy means sacrificing your own?

When the final day comes
I know I'd still be happy with you

Sunday, August 02, 2009 - 8:13 PM

"When love is the strongest, less words are needed."

Monday, dragged myself to school. Slept at 1am+ as I was just settling stuff which totally wasted my time. Tried to stay as awake as I can in school. Had a lost of appetite too :\ Well, I was just settling stuff that I wasn't paying attention at all. I'm sure gonna get a lousy grade although I know I could have gotten a grade A again. Urgh, mofos. Headed straight home after school, dozed off in the bus. Danial was so funny, he was afraid I fell off the chair! Haha! When Mommy is not at home, I realised I can't handle stuff. Am I that independent as I said I was? Hmmm...

Tuesday, was kinda late for school cos the bus was too packed I couldn’t hop on. What nonsense. So I took the bus then the mrt. I forgot to bring my thermometer to school and Comms faci was being a bitch, making so much noise about it. Luckily, Marc has the ear one, so he lent me but Comms faci just had to insist I pay him when Marc was cool about it.

Wednesday, as usual wasn’t paying much attention in class. Webcammed with Gerald, was so so damn happy to see him! He is so adorable, especially is curly hair, which makes him even more cute. –pinches your softcheeks. Wanted to bank in money near my place, then in the end the machine had problems. Grrr, make me walk so far!

Thursday, 1 team went off as they couldn’t tolerate Science lesson, how funny. But anyway, my presentation went great! (: After school, had photoshop workshop. Thinking about it, I shldn’t go cos what the person taught I alrdy knew, kinda wasted my time. But on a lighter note, Daddy came to pick me up & what’s better is that he bought me awesome food – fish spaghetti! Hahaha!

Friday, one by one my classmates started to leave class. I perservered through the whole day. After class, headed down to fairfield for some thanksgiving ceremony. I felt so nostalgic when I entered, it brought back so so much memories. Memories which includes friendships & relationships. 5 years in that school not only left me with good memories but some heartaches too. But then again, I've longed left them behind and moved on.. A new school, new environment, new lease of life. After everything ended, headed down to Gerald's place and I stayed over.

Yesterday, Gerald left early in the morning for his tournament, while I was still sleeping enjoying the aircon in his room (: But I head down to see him in the afternoon, yet again he brought back a Gold medal. Congratulations, am so proud of you baby! After that, came home rested and had dinner. Guess where we had dinner? Sushi Tei!! ^^v Hahaha, our favorite! We both ate till we were so bloated. Anyway, stayed over his place again. Wheee..

Lazed at home the whole day, we're such bummers I know. Dinner at Sakae Teppanyaki at Airport Terminal 3, it was good. I'm finally back home right now. The weekends are coming to an end in just a few hours. I've to start revising for my UT3 which is gonna come real soon. Baby sent me to my doorstep and it was really sad seeing him leave. I wish he could stay with me longer, but then again, impossible. I'm anticipating for the weekends to arrive again! Alrighty, I'm off to shower and rest. Lurveeee~

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Recalling my past separation, & so then I try to recollect my memories. & I couldn't. It seems like I've lost that key to the memory in my brain. I don't know. I've read about things like this & a doctor once said that usually due to what that person's been true, those memories are not lost, but they're just subconsciously hidden in the brain, telling nothing to that one self. So I wonder if it's a good thing if I were to remember? After so much hoo-haa that happened regarding you, I'd never be friends with my exes. Over & moved on. Whether you've regretted at all, 2 words for you, fuck you. One thing's for sure is that, friends after lovers? For me now, that's impossible. I can't see myself being just ordinary friends with a person I once shared so much love with, the person I once held hands with, the person I know I could die for...

Now, my broken pieces caused by you were mended by someone who just came along my way. The person was much more than you could ever be. A gentleman, a lover. When I fall down, he picked me up. When I fell ill, he took care of me. When I'm down, he brought a smile to my face. When I'm worried, he assures me. I'm thankful for you, Gerald. Thank you from the first day we knew to up till now, thank you for being by my side, thank you for lending a listening ear and a crying shoulder, thank you for trusting me, thank you for being who you truly are, thank you for footing the bill most of the time, thank you for lending me your time, thank you for being the sweetest boyfriend I could ever had. & I could thank you for a million things if I could list them all here.

I don't wanna be your just-another-girl, cos you mean everything to me. I love you Gerald.





























































I will love you, in every single breath you take. I will.

Cos in your eyes I'd like to stay
You changed my world with just one kiss

Sunday, July 26, 2009 - 11:59 PM

"The hottest love has the coldest end?"

Friday, Math lesson was alright. Had a change of faci, she was rather lenient and good. After school, headed back home, rested then went down to East Coast Park for dinner. Seafooddddddd~~ With my favorite boy. With the win brushing across my face, all my worries/troubles seemed to disappear. But if I were to snap back to reality, I doubt happiness stays forever. But its fine, I'm contented with everything I have/possess right now. Cabbed back to my place & Gerald stayed over.

Yesterday, we just slacked at home. We're lazy pple as you can see. We just eat, snuggle in bed, laugh, bite each other, etc... We really need to get out of the hse to exercise. But you see, at least he have training every week while I don't. That explains my size now -.- So he left arnd 10pm+ and I started missing him alrdy.

This morning went to church then went for lunch. I forgot where the place was but the portion of the food was just huge, ate till I felt really bloated till night time. Sent Mommy to the airport then my loving Brother sent me to Town. Met up with Nelson, Cheryl, Melvin & Marc. Walked here and there and of cos, spent moolahs (: Ion Orchard is not bad too, all the high end brands. Parted with them & met Gerald. We headed down to Jurong Point & had some Japanese buffet for dinner. The food was alright but my poor tummy is so bloated. As I'm writing this, my eyes are half open. I'm so sleepy. My friends are gonna bug me for photos tmrw, gaahh..

Anyway, as much as I don't wna blog about a certain something, I'll still do so. Maybe just a tiny weeny bit of it.
I'm hurt that my friends turned their back on me. If you all truly know me, you will know what kind of person I'm like. You girl, you don't go hearing stuff from someone and just think that its true. So what if you know it, don't go telling my boyfriend. The past is all in the past, I don't care how you see of me right now. But I can tell you straight in the face, that my past is long gone. Have I changed? That is for you to ponder. I know what I'm like, & no one even you can judge me. Enough of pple trying to sway his thoughts, it's never gonna work. Spoil my image, say what you want, or screw yourself, I don't really care. Okay enough, I shldn't say more, if not dogs will bark, even louder this time round.

Every new situation that I face in life, takes me further away from the negative aspects of my past. Some are painful reminders makes me believe I shouldn't take chances. I shouldn't take risks. But, like an embryo, we must go through changes in order to become whole, healthy & complete. We're going to feel alone, confused or frightened during the process but it's all good. The outcome of it all is well worth the struggle. In reality, we all are growing, developing, evolving. Go out there & be carefree especially when you're trying to achieve your goals. Break the limits. Pass the borders. Color outside of the line. That's how we're suppose to live life. Some mornings you may wake up feeling good, ready to go out & take on the world & "be" a great day. But on other days, we wake up to total darkness that makes the whole world seem depressing. On those days remember the words I stated & just live your life. You only get one so why waste it on anything that leads towards the negative? Don't do as you please because it's your day off. Do as you please everyday. I'm just so glad I've got you, Gerald..

I know one day all these fairytale fantasy's gonna come true. Because you're the one I'm gonna make it happen with..

.
.
.

Gerald Lee,
"You don't love someone because they're perfect. You love them in spite of the fact that they're not. Your imperfections make you perfect baby, to me you are, because that is whats real..."

You & I, in different worlds, set apart by our differences. It's like a tall brick wall that extends towards the sky & each of us on the other side of it. I've been brave, I tried being strong, tried fighting off every bit of negativity in me. Your words were always sugarcoated, but I knew you meant them all right from the bottom of your heart. Those words have got me crazy, those words have made me thought way beyond what I could ever imagine of us few months down the road. Our paths were never supposed to cross, but it intertwined nevertheless. If we start all over again, I would still wish I had met you.

I love you sweetheart! Thanks for making this weekend a splendid one as always. You mean everything to me do you know that? I really hope to see you soon, because I miss you already. Another week ahead to go through! Because everything you've done, I feel so blessed and loved. & everything that I have to go through for you, its worth every bit of my time and effort. Cos at the end of the day, you & I know truly how our hearts feel..
Love, Joy.

Goodnight world. True friends I will keep, the rest shall be ditched.





























More than just a heroine.

There's a picture of this boy
That lives inside my mind

Thursday, July 23, 2009 - 6:46 PM

"For you are the best I ever had. The only one I can't live without. You're my air. I breathe you."

Monday, went to school feeling so damn sleepy due to the fact I tried sleeping early but couldn't. Cognitive was kinda slack today which is always so good (: Nelson & the few pple went over to Causeway to get Burger King, so I had BK for lunch, yummy yumyum! After class, headed back straight home with Danial.

Tuesday, had presentation first thing in the morning regarding our proposal. Nelson's team evaluated our proposal, and it was good. Hehe, big thanks to them! Well, sometimes I get super pissed off when my team mates don't do a shit, its not like I'm damn 'chiong' or what, but fucking get the point that when work needs to be done, it has to be done. So just fucking get your asses and focus more! I do mostly all the work, you guys don't even deserve anything. Urgh.. I realised I have been ranting, I just can't stand certain pple! Excluding my team mates, I would say, the both of you. You two have seriously got out of my nerves. Can't believe I stood to your level to bitch about you two. & as I write this, which I know its pointless, is waiting minutes of my precious life away..

Can you imagine, two pple who used to be close to you, sort of suddenly backstabbed you. You can't imagine the amount of hurt I'm feeling right now. I really don't want to bother and let this affect me. My sweetest boyfriend have been the greatest, he has always been right there for me, sharing my pain & burden. You fuckers out there have done a good job by spreading bad things about me, saying how will I end up hurting my boyfi. Well, you know what, you all have done a great job, I totally admire you. But boohoo to you losers, nothing can ever break us apart. Keep trying for better results, I would like to see the outcome (: So back to what I was mentioning earlier on.. You didn't even respect me, what respect should I have of you now? As much as rumours are rumours, I chose to believe some, especially when you get them from pple you trust. Are you then gonna prove me wrong? I don't know to feel sad, disappointed, angry, or emotionless. Last but not least, are they still friends worth keeping? Perhaps I should have listened to my besties from the start, if I did I probably wouldn't end up like this.. Period.

Yesterday, wore formal to school for Enterprise Skills as we had some interview thing for that module. Burberry top, Satin skirt, Nine West heels, Casio watch, YSL bag. I felt pretty (: Hahaha! As usual, lesson was slack. Webcammed with Gerald here and there & it was great seeing his face. After school, went home, rested & headed down to Gerald's place. Dinner at Holland V, had my favorite tomato noodle soup!! His company was just priceless. He had a new laptop and a new bed, that spoilt brad! I envy him, hahaha! His new bed is still as comfy as the old one, hehe. Stayed over for the night..

Here I am back home.. Start of the day was alright, however, later part of the day I got really grumpy and irritated. Science module was not bad today, but I told my faci in the face that I rather not take this module if I could choose. Gaahh.. The bus I was in with Danial when we went back, was like sauna, we both were like dying inside. I can't believe there wasn't much air at all, it was so stuffy & hot, damn sick.. I'm feeling all so tired right now, together with my grumpiness, and all, urgh urgh urgh x10000000000000000.

I'm trying to stay as bubbly as I always am, I don't like things bringing me down. Baby's my sweetest love, he has been through the ups & downs with me, I'm really happy to have you right by my side hon. Your every action, your every word, makes me feel like I do not have any worries at all. I love you baby, for you are mine to keep. Even a few days, months or years from now, I still want you right beside me. Telling me how much you love me and sharing with me everything from the ground to the stars.





























































Don't tell me this won't last forever.

If I want to run away
Would you run with me?

Sunday, July 19, 2009 - 6:03 PM

"You have kept me mesmerized."

Yesterday, headed down to the National Library at Bugis to do Comms project with my team mates. Glad we managed to complete quite alot. Went back home after everything. Dinner with Mommy & Sister, the feeling was good (: Headed down to Town to meet Michelle & Zhe Qiang. Missed those 2 alot. Hahaha. Anyway, when I was in the train, I felt really sad as this old lady on the wheelchair, she kept looking at my direction and pointed at my legs/shoes. I have no idea why. I looked at her & I felt really sad. Got approached by some advertisement agency too. Also, I was a kind soul today, I paid for some guy whom wanted to go to the toilet. Heh!

Cabbed down to Clarke Quay, went for some drinks then headed down to Liang Court, Social House. Madhu and Kaixin came down, and saw lots of friends there too [: Partied till 4am, then I headed down to Gerald's hse with Michelle.

Well, I just realised alot of things that happened so far to me in my life. Friends can just backstab you right in your face. If you know the principles of a relationship, you wouldn't have done that. If you regarded me as your friend, you know your limits, I'm so disappointed in you, I really am. My impression of you have just change 36odegrees. Also, you feel the most terrible when your true friends suddenly feel that your existence don't really matter and when there's any gatherings, you weren't being called. Are they even called true friends? If there are any misunderstanding, we shld solve it, but in the end, its like I'm the cause of everything. What the fuck. Wow, F.R.I.E.N.D.S. How great. Lastly, after Gerald talked some sense into me, I realised that real friends don't go all touchy over you. They wouldn't have done that to you, they would instead respect you. Gosh, I'm so disappointed in myself & I don't want to say that I regretted having my bunch of friends. Please tell me all our friendship is worth going through for >:( I'm hurt.

To keep my spirit high a little to prevent me from emo-ing, I think yesterday's party was alright. We managed to talk to the owner of Social House, he's a funny guy. However, I would say that Powerhouse still wins in terms are music, atmosphere and space. I also managed to catch a glimpse of Gerald, we spend even the tiny weeny bit of time tgther, I glad we did baby. Ended up sleeping at 7am I think, & woke up 1 hour+ later to cabbed home. Headed down to church then went for Daddy's birthday lunch at ThaiPan, love the food there! I'm feeling so so sleepy right now, I need to catch up on my sleep before the school week starts tmrw, damn. Okiedoks, toodles~















































Cause my boyfriend's everything you're not.

I wish that I could give you something more
That I could be yours

Friday, July 17, 2009 - 7:27 PM

"You are such an important piece of my life's jigsaw puzzle."

Helloooo earthlings!

I need you to be with me,
Dreams can only hold me for so long.
& I will wait my life, I promise to do to right,
For just one moment to be alone with you...
It's just enough for me to fall in love with you.

I'll start of by declaring-
HAPPY 5TH MONTH ANNIVERSARY SWEETHEART. on 16/07/09 (:
I know there are much more awesome times unfolding for us. I'm happy, very happy to have you in my life. When I was at the lowest point in my life, you came & changed things arnd. You made the dark clouds disappear and made a rainbow in my life. You got me tangled with our hearts intertwined baby, & I want to see myself growing older with you each passing day. Cos hon, you hold a special place in my heart. I really marvel at the very fact that each quarrel we go through, brings us up to another level of treasuring each other. I love you sweetheart, I don't want to let you slip through my fingers. I want you & I need you. Thank you for everything up till now. My baby, my sweetheart, my darling, my favorite boy, always!

So yesterday, had Science. Learned about cells again, it was a killer. After school, had Comms UT, was damn happy it was the last UT. Time really flies, UT1 & UT2 has just gone by like that. The major UT3 is gonna come up before you even realise it. Walked to the mrt with my friends as they didn't want to take the bus, I tell you I was really melting in the sun. It was so damn bloody hot, gaaahhh.. Went to Fushionopolis for lunch at The Soup Kitchen with Gerald & Russell. I really love that place (: Then, headed back to Gerald's place. Mich & Marc came by.. Finally get to see that bitch, hahaha, really miss her!! That crazy nonsensical girl. Hee.. Arnd 9pm+, cabbed down to Shaw for Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince with my classmates. I would say it wasn't that good. I finally ate my bandito pockett! I was also falling asleep during the movie, gosh.. Everything ended arnd midnight and I went to crash over at Gerald's place.

I was so sleepy last night, all I could rmb was, Gerald being so noisy saying he can't sleep. I knew I was asking him to just close his eyes and sleep, then I think I fell back to sleep. I felt damn bad :\ Sorry I couldn't stay awake to company you baby.

Cabbed to school this morning. 2 times in a row, taxi drivers just love asking me if I'm Singaporean -.- Yes yes, I am. Anyway, I'm glad I managed to survive in school today. Having less than 5 hours of sleep really kills you. Had a change of faci today, I hope he's nice enough to give me an A or B grade [: Okay, I shall share some of my pleasures, I had Subway for lunch! It was scrumptious, totally love it!

Hmmm... There are just some frustrations on my mind now & I'll gladly speak my mind-
1. Hate copycats
2. Dislike the very fact my ex boyfriend is 'flirting' with my good friend
3. Staying so far away from boyfiee
4. Guess I'm only able to see him the week after
5. Need more moolahs to fund my shopping

On a brighter note, guess what? Hahahahehehehohoho!! Daddy's booking a flight to Bangkok. I can' wait! Shopping shopping, wheee ^^v Oh well, waiting for this semester to end can't come any faster. Okiedoks, I need more rest. Been feeling, so lethargic, later!







































I'll be saving all my love for you.

Hold on to the night
Hold on to the memories

Wednesday, July 15, 2009 - 7:06 PM

"I rather go through shit with you than good times with someone else."

Monday, Cognitive was quite slack as presentation was damn short, so had time to revise for Enterprise UT. I was clad in a ballerina top and a sweet candy stripey skirt, with my pretty painted nails and colourful bracelets. I know I'm pretty ^^ Hahaha. Came home, studied like mad for Math UT, while my eyes were half closed. It was madness, roarrr. Tvee itself was also another distraction. With it on, I can't concentrate. Missing my Baby was another reason why too, gaah.. Ended up sleeping at 12am ):

Yesterday, was so so sleepy in the morning, yet I had no choice but to survive the whole day. I was falling asleep in class :\ Comms ppt was kinda screwed but I couldn't care less. Had Math UT, which probability killed me half of the time. I can't do probability for nuts. After school, went to the library. Booked Harry Potter movie and waited for Daddy to come pick me up, then we went for dinner & back home..

Enterprise class today was alright, wasn't paying much attention at all, I think I won't have a Grade A or B for this week. Nevermind. So one of my classmates was talking about her boyfriend flirting, well.. I realised we girls tend to be so sensitive even when just a girl (ugly) touches him. But know that, its because of love, that he belongs to only her and its unpleasing to hear such stuff that happened. So anyway, bused home with Danial as usual.. I'm home right now, trying to revise for Comms. Very happy, my last of UT2 tmrw, after which, I can finally have some proper rest.

Life is discovering. The love that we create
Life is a mystery. We need to embrace
People rise together. When they believe in tomorrow
Change the day to forever. This life keeps moving
Open your mind & see. We have everything we need
Dream or reality. Fulfill its destiny

Life isn't always ideal or romantic. It's a series of triumphs & disappointments, & that's okay. The best we can do is open our hearts & learn to appreciate & forgive.

Gerald: -Finds every nook and cranny for my beloved. Leaving no stones unturn, till I find that beautiful girl! Hahaha, I loved you since the day I saw you.

My Baby is the bestest. You captivate me each time I see youuu. -Melts. I think he's probably sleeping right now, after not sleeping the day before, gosh.. I'm feeling hungry. My left arm is aching like mad. I feel weak and useless when my arm aches. I can't move so much at all >:( Pfft. Oh, yes yes, did I mentioned I love my nails. Hehe, yes!! Anyway, I need more moolahs! I want to shop, shopping is never ending! I need someone to fund me, if only there was. Situation seems bad, I'm almost dying.. Haha roarrr! I want moolahs, if only I had a quick & easy job. Hmmm...

Back to revising for Comms' UT, later~







I want to bake cupcakes & think of you.

Put down your world
Just for one night with me

Sunday, July 12, 2009 - 4:51 PM

"Looks are deceiving. Judgements are temporary. Changes are inevitable."

I have been so busy with school this few weeks. Been so busy & even skipped meals. It's a good thing that I can lose weight like this, heh. Friday, Gerald came over to my place in the night. Spent time with my Baby, it was awesome yet again (: I'm so happy to be arnd him. Well, he stayed for the night.

Yesterday, went over to Grandmother's place for reunion. On the way there, saw a rainbow in the sky & being me, I'm always fascinated at the sight of rainbows, they are just so beautiful! So those who were residing in different parts of Australia came back, so I just had to go. Everything was great, seeing those lovely faces of my cousins & relatives. Celebrated grace's 22nd birthday in advance too, as she's going back to Melbourne soon. Tried revising my work there, but it was a failed attempt.

Slept at 2am+ this morning, couldn't go to bed somehow. Went to church this morning and went for lunch at Mad jack, missed the food there [: I'm home, all alone again.. I can breathe much easier when Mom's not nagging and I can do whatever I want, but then again, it's rather lonely. When Brother goes to NS on the 14 of September this year, boy would I not know how I would survive. No more company at home, no more fetching me here & there, etc.. Gaahh, I shan't think about it right now. Anyway, I'm getting the new iphone soon! Yeapppiexzxz, so happy. I've got tons of Bourjois make up and nail polish which Aunt Joan brought back from Paris, hehe! I'm just sucha princess. -envy me! Hahahahaaha.

S.W.A.L.K, I love you Gerald. & I wish upon a star that someday you & I will have our quarrels ceased, where everything will be oh-so-beautiful once again.

.
.
.

Everything you ever said; everything you ever did; everything you ever meant; everything that I'd never forget. Somewhere on my bed, I wake a little different. Somewhere in my life, I see things without this frame. Expectations overthrown because I'd realized what I expect are not as worthwhile as what you give me. Every forest sings a song. One for the heartbroken lovers. & one for the dreamers. & then there's one just for you, because you are special like this. You question every questions that I held in my busy mind, & left me speechless. There are so many whys in this world. You taught me to stop looking for answers because it merely answers one question which leads to another question. There, you gave me a quizzical glance & I knew I am asking myself the biggest question - 'how can I not love you?'

I'd forget where I have been, but I remember where I am. In your light & in your heart that is. You can take my heart for a little trip. You can take my heart very close to yours. You can take my heart for a reverie. I know I know I know I will take your heart. If I take your heart, I will cherish it every day. If I take your heart, I will heal these old wounds. If I take your heart, it's to make it happy. If I take your heart, it's forever close to mine. When you look at me & we're skin to skin, I want you so please come in. My love is growing up to yours. I don't know where this kite is flying to, but I know you made me feel like a girl munching on her tangerine. The wind is blowing in a new hum now..

Another one of your quizzical hum:
Love is a feeling you are feeling when the feeling you are feeling is a feeling that you had never felt before.

Okiedokies, I have 3 UTs next week & I've yet to revise. I shall do it now, plus my manicure, beauty rest and tveee. Toodles~~













Without you, I can't sleep. I'm not gonna ever, ever let you leave.

I became a carpenter so I could build a house
For your heart to live in

Friday, July 10, 2009 - 7:24 PM

"Happiness is not shortlived if you can make an effort to make yourself happy."

Tuesday, I was clad in clothes from Cotton On. Cropped jacket, tank top, high waisted skirt, sandals, were all from Cotton On. & not forgetting my LV laptop bag (: Heheee. Was waiting for bus in the morning and suddenly this black cat came towards me & cross my lap. I totally freaked out cos I can feel the tiny paws on my thighs, I totally wanted to scream! I dislike cats! The second time, it cross my lap and wanted to sit down, I was so scared, I stood up, the cat jumped to the ground and dropped my ipod. Thank God I did not buy the ipod touch if not I think it'll have scratches & all. Communications was alright, I can't imagine we only have 45mins to go down to HAVEN for lunch or buy back to class. H1N1 really create such a hassle for everyone, sigh. Bumped into Justin there & I was simply disturbing him, hohoho.. While heading back, saw Candice & Lihao. They were really sweet, Lihao came all the way down to RP to see her. Immediately what came to my mind was, Gerald. We are totally at the different ends of Singapore. But still, we managed to find time for each other & I believe abscence makes the heart grow fonder. -winks.

I don't get what's wrong with me. I always declare how happy I always am to everyone or anyone. But when I'm all alone, when silence take over, I'll get many things overloading my mind and I'll stumble across more stuff (in the past) & they get cramped up in my brain. The more "exploding" feeling I'll get in the end. I wish to get rid of them. Well, I could. Yet again, the more I find out, the more depressing life for me will be. I got to stop, I need to, I have to, because generally I know my life is meant to be filled with happiness, not sorrows.

On a lighter note, boyfriend has been great! Every moment spent with him is just like candyworld sprinkled with pink fairydust, pink cotton candy, with stripey candycanes & lollipops, together with sunflowers and roses, with a sweet-scented smell, pink heartshaped balloons tied onto each specially designed cuppycakes and last but not least, his company, is simply... FABULOUS <3 Everytime we part, I know we'll see each other again. & furthermore, the more I miss him, the more I love him. He has captured my heart and I don't wna let him go.

Wednesday, topic was kinda tough for Enterprise Skills so was damn busy trying to crack my brains. Marc came to my class to see me for awhile. After school, had Cognitive UT which was quite okay. Then, met up with him & Jane but couldn't stay long with them as I had to revise. Went to the library to revise for Science UT with Danial & Daddy came to pick me up after that.

Yesterday, Science faci made my friend cry, I do not know what's wrong with her. I dislike her, which make me dislike Science even more! After school, went to the library to revise for UT with Liangfu. Bumped into Justin there, which was such a coincidence. Left the place in the evening, it was kinda late so decided to head over to my Grammy's hse to stay. I stayed there for the night.

After school today, went to Subway with Angela, Nelson & Danial for a bite (: I'm so tired right now. Science UT was alright, I'm stressing over the fact that I don't want to repeat this module cos I dislike Science alot, roarrr! On a lighter note, the weekends have arrived, my days seem packed but I need to find time to revise for my UTs, diexzxz. I miss my Baby so much already.. I've always been looking forward to weekends, because you're my saving grace. But I know this weekend won't be much for us to spend together, I feel sad. But I'd still cherish every minute we've got.

Saturday
1. Grace's 22nd birthday.
2. Go to some pub/restaurant at Raffles with Daddy.
3. Need to find time to revise 3 modules!

Sunday
1. Church.
2. Upload peeektures.
3. Need to find time to revise 3 modules!



My collection of ugly dolls baby bought for me so far ^^v


Counting the steps to the door of your heart.

Tell me whats more than love
You can count on me for life

Monday, July 06, 2009 - 5:02 PM

"You are already my world."

Friday, quite a number of pple didn't turn up for class cos they were told to buy a thermometer but they didn't want to do so. Hahaha! As usual, I was the only one doing work, it was fucked up I swear. Luckily, Danial was transferred to my team and he helped me up. So basically, the two of us were the only ones cracking our brains and doing the work. It's not that I want to complain about it, but don't you think its unfair. We do the work, you guys spent 2 hours slacking away and you guys also take a reasonable grade. Well, I think we deserve more than you guys. I know we're friends after all, but I'm telling you, a team is a team, we were put tgther to do work tgther, not individually, so if you wish to not bother, I seriously think you don't deserve that grade A, B or C at all. So anyway, it resulted me in not having my lunch. After school, I was starving like mad. Met Justin, headed down to Causeway Point for Pastamania (:

In the evening, Gerald surprised me at my place with a tub of Ben & Jerry's ice cream. It melt my heart, totally. But don't ever think bcos I'm easy to please, you can make me upset kayyy!! He stayed over for the night, it was lovely.

Saturday, watched The Burrowers while having lunch. Gerald left in the afternoon while I got ready to head down to my Grandmother's place. Spent some time there. Aunt Joan & family came back form Paris while Uncle Martin came back from Melbourne. It was nice seeing them. Little Brittany is always so adorable. French & Chinese blood, what can they say? Pretty (: I had to leave early so Brother fetched me to Russell's place for his birthday party. Everything was good. Stayed over Gerald's place after that.

Yesterday, revised my work & slacked at his place till evening where we had Sushi Tei for dinner. I think we're hardcore fans of Sushi Tei, we love dining there :D Anyhooo, time spent with Baby is always awesome. Stayed over for the night again.

Here I am finally back home. This morning I was so sad to leave Gerald's place. As usual, I was sleeping by myself then later he came to join me as he couldn't sleep. & again, he was watching me as I was asleep. I think I look so unglam in my most sleepy state, gosh. But its fine, I watch you as you sleep too, so we're equal. Heh! 10 more days to our 5th month, yayyeee!!! On a random note, I notice my friends denying who their partners are or claiming that particular person is just a friend. Well, to me, it pains me for some reason or another. If I were to know that my boyfriend does the same, I would feel like the most idiotic girlfriend on earth. I mean you chose them in the first place so why deny your relationship later on? It's so sad. Sigh, whatever it is. My boyfriend is Gerald, I'm his girlfriend, I love him, & I know he loves me too. We are a happy couple after all. Wheee..

Alrighty, I gotta go do revision for my upcoming UTs right now. Such a bore, its tiring & exhausting. Hang on Joy!! Ciaos~~







Brittany.


























When you see your life in someone else's eyes..

Have you realize how much I love you
& everything I have done?

Friday, July 03, 2009 - 8:40 AM

"If you're tired, I'll support you on my baby. I'll carry you on my back."

Tuesday night, stayed over at Gerald's place again. I was sleeping half way & suddenly Gerald talked to me so I got woken up. Then I went like, "Huh?" many times cos I couldn't figure out what he was saying. That boy then got fed up with me and turn his back and fell asleep. You didn't know how pissed I was. Next morning, I asked him about it, he said he couldn't rmb. Gosh, I think he's sleep talking.

Wednesday, he went to school so I headed down to Starbucks at Holland V, thank God Huda could accompany me. Did my e-learning there in the end (: Huda went off & I was alone till Wolfgang came. Baby ended school and came down too. Whooo, with awesome pple arnd me, makes me happier each time! Ordered pizza to his place then Brother came to fetch me back home at night.

Yesterday, slept pretty late so woke up feeling so lethargic still. But it was great seeing my friends, everyone was just especially retarded. Hahaha! Anyway, my Science faci was again damn mean to me. She always pick on me, this time she never fails to do so. Urgh. Till Danial had to tell her, "Faci, why you always so fierce to Joy?" Then she went like, "Oh, I fierce meh? Sorry sorry." Whatthefuck, what the fuck man. Okay whatever. Lunch with my classmates at Causeway point was good. Supposedly to have KFC, but was so packed so we went to eat at Pizza Hut. After that, went back home with Danial. & yes, that stupid Marc went to take the knife from Pizza Hut and put it in my bag! He's damn retarded la. I feel sad for Pizza Hut instead, haha!

Some of my unhappiness are..
1) Lost yet another ring from my collection due to carelessness again.
2) Broke my YSL blusher.
3) Room too messy, need tidying up.
4) Decreasing of moolahs from my account.
5) STUDY FOR UTs!!!

Some of my happiness are..
1) 3 ugly dolls from my baby.
2) YSL bag & a pouch
3) Bourjois liquid eyeliner.
4) Spending time with that annoying yet lovable boy- Gerald.
5) I'm in love ^^v Hahahahaha!!

Talking about being in love. Guess what! 13 more days to our 5th month. It's like W-O-A-H. How exciting.. Despite our small disputes, we managed to find our way back to love again, which on the other hand, allows me to know how much he means to me. Words aren't enough to express how much he means to me, but sometimes actions speaks louder, and deep down, we both truly know the answers regarding the matters of the heart (:

Class is starting in awhile. Many pple were stuck outside the main door just bcos there was checking of thermometers and they didn't bring it. Thank God I brought it, hohoho! Okay, weekends have just arrived in a few hours, yay! Till then..

Look at the photo below. How cute right! For Selena, Hazel & I ^^v










I don't need anything, I just want you & time.

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this

Tuesday, June 30, 2009 - 8:11 PM

"Thank you for trying so hard."

I've been sleeping pretty late these days, therefore couldn't wake up in time to even do my e-learning. Skipped Cognitive & Comms module for 2 days.

Yesterday night, headed down to Gerald's hse and had dinner with him & the family at Thomson. Also to mention, my Sister talked to me when she was in Indo, I miss her so much. When I'm down or bored, she isn't available to talk to. Now I know how much she means to me. My twiniee, my beloved Sister forever, love you Jillypie!

Today's the last day of June. Damn, time flies huh. I really can't wait for all my UTs to end, holidays to come, Semester 2 to start and the best of all, for me to finish poly and get my Diploma. In the afternoon, met Russ & we went down to Fushionopolis for lunch. The soup spoon is really damn good, I love their clam chowder!! Gerald & Russ went off and I met Liangfu at Starbucks to study. Studied the whole day. Gerald came down with Kenneth in the evening & he surprised me with 3 medium ugly dolls! Omgoshxzxzx, I was happy to the max yet kinda upset that he spent so much :\ But anyway, I'm so so happy, I love the ugly dolls, they're so adorable! Right now, I'm at NP, watching Gerald & the rest having training. Rugby ball somehow amazes me, hehe. I'm those who don't do any sports at all, only run or swim at times whenever I'm free. Gosh, no wonder that explains why I'm putting on weight each day, humph.

My baby boy's ankle is injured yet I'm seeing him having training, it makes me worried :\ Roarrr. Arnd 45 more mins till they end, I'm blogging cos I'm pretty bored. I don't think I'm going home again tonight. I feel bad for my Mommy as I keep staying out, but I hope she understand and know that no matter what I do, I know where my home is, where my heart belongs to and lastly, she'll always be my Mother & I love her. Okiedoks, shall just watch them have training. Ciaos!

edited \ 8:33pm
It's just funny. Okay... Imagine. You talked to that someone through MSN/email/sms/etc, yet when you meet and bumped into that someone, you both pretend that you both are worlds apart and you don't even sometimes say hi. Am I the reason for being there? Okay, it just felt weird. It appears so fake. To me that is. This is random. Boredom screws your mind up (:







If you didn't notice boy, you mean everything.

Somehow I can't forget you
After all that we've been through

Sunday, June 28, 2009 - 3:18 AM

"You're the one that keeps me going."

Hello earthlings. Look at the time right now, its 3:18am. I told my baby boy I'll sleep cos I wanted him to rest, taking in the fact that he didn't sleep the night before at all. I watched Step Up 2 just now cos I couldn't go to bed. I can't believe I'm still awake, its been so long I've stayed up this late.

I don't even know why I actually bother to read someone else' previous entry posts. It doesn't even concern me. I guess I'm just wasting my precious time away. Okay, maybe I simply have no life? Hahaha. Whatever it is anyway.. Well, although the past is the past, you still have that weird feeling lingering on for sure. Sheesh, I shan't think so much and enjoy every moment now. Cos no matter what happens, I believe everything happen for a reason whether its a happy or sad thing. Yada yada, I beat any of you hands down. -Evil laughters

Baby must be sleeping so soundly now. Damn, I wish I was there with him, watching him sleep. Just like how he always like to look at me when I sleep. Gaaah, I love him so much, & I know he feels the same way for me too. -sinks into your soft cheeks

Okay, off to bed now. & because I'm pretty, I'll end it here, haha!
-Flings hair

edited \ 8:32pm
Went to Holy Spirit church in the evening then Brother & I went to Thomson Plaza, had Sakae Sushi for dinner. I realised I've been eating alot of Japanese food lately. Had my all time favorite donuts from Donut Empire too, I love it to the maxxx.. :D I'm feeling sleepy & bored, yet I'm rejoicing for the fact I don't have to wake up early for school tmrw. Also, I haven't talk much to my baby boy today. Gaahhh.. I shall go watch some tveee and rest my tummy. Ciaos!



I want every single ugly doll!! ): There are more than what it is here.




I know the reason why I am alive, & the world is so beautiful tonight.

Here we are in the arms of another
Knowing that hate is wrong & love is right for us tonight

Saturday, June 27, 2009 - 10:58 PM

"You're the only one I think it's worth a try over & over again."

Woke up early this morning, cabbed down to Gerald's place. The cab driver had alot of sense of humour, so he was simply talking to me all the way, but he was funny. After, we went to meet Kenneth & Hazel then we headed down to some place near Tiong Bahru to try out the curry rice. It's indeed good I shall say. More details at http://ieatishootipost.sg/search/label/Hainanese%20Curry%20Rice. From there, we cabbed down to the flea market at Mt. Sophia. It was okay only, not that interesting so we left & went down to Taka. Met Russell, Selena & Wolfgang later on. Everyone started to part so went back to Gerald's place. Now I'm back home...

She left in a cab, not wanting to even turn back or take a glimpse at the sight of him. The cab hurriedly drove off in a jiffy. She regretted it so much. Tears rolled down her cheeks as the cab was moving. She wanted to just U-turn back and just hug him so much, telling him how sorry she was. So the feeling of unhappiness lingered till she reached home and up till now..

My eyes are tired. My heart aches. My mind's in a blank right now.

Gerald, now I know how much you mean to me. No matter what happens, you always try and make sure that we both will work out just fine. When here I am, holding on to the thinest thread of hope, how selfish can I be, you must be thinking. It's not that I want to give up on us completely. But you do know how hard I've tried to always keep us tgther, its the feeling that I don't wna lose something I hold so dear onto, which makes me so afraid of what will happen next. I'm not those who only live for what it is now, but also think of what's to come after. Baby, you're everything to me, you're my world, my universe, a part of me. I promise you, I won't give up on us. Everything can be solved, situations can be managed, I will not just simply give up.

I love you honey, you are worth every single bit of my time, effort & love. We can be happy, & I know we will cos we were meant to be happy cos we truly deserve it (:

Anyhooo, I'm going to remove my email from my blog from now onwards. Random guys have been adding me to their MSN contacts, and I do not have any clue who they are at all. Some are just disgusting pervs. That's it, period.

I'm going to wash up & sleep now. I will not think about the past and whatever unhappy things that have happened. But at the end of the day, I'm thankful for my wonderful friends who have been there for me through it all. I try to hold on to this belief that we live life once, being happy or unhappy, thus I will try to be happy at any cost because being truly happy is all that matters in life, to me that is. Okay, goodnight lovelies. I shall go find food now, cos I'm hungry~~





If I let you down, I'll turn it all around cos I would never let you go.

All my life, I'll be with you forever
To get me through the day

Friday, June 26, 2009 - 9:25 PM

"This is our fairytale. We are making it true as it is now & it's definitely is leading us somewhere beautiful."

I'm finally back home after being out for 4 days, heh :D Before I left for school on Tuesday, the sunflower Gerald gave me was so pretty but now, it's all withered >:(

It's so good to just sleep till pass 8am this morning and not waking up at 5.30am for school (: E-learning was as usual the same, just did my worksheet and submitted. I just did my RJ, my shortest written RJ, thank God I remembered cos I totally forgot about it!! Went with Joseph to Lot1 in the afternoon, & I spent money again. Roarrrr.. Came back and watched Wanted, its a good show I'll say. Megan Fox can never be like Angelina Jolie because AJ is one of the sexiest woman and no one can take her place for now. Except for guys who watches porn (I don't know), they'll name some pornstar or something (so fake) -.- Hahahaha!

Saddest news: Michael Jackson passed away because of Cardiac Arrest ):

Anyway, I just levelled up to level 16 on Restaurant City! Also, I'm going to try out some damn good curry chicken rice at Redhill tmrw as stated by Hazel or Kenneth? Heh. & later on, 'Revenge Of The Titans' flea market with them & my favorite boy :D Wheeee, I'm so excited somehow.. Marc msged me, he isn't in good condition right now, I hope its not that stupid H1N1 virus or something, be strong boy! Call me if you need someone to talk to yea! Talking about ex(s), I don't ever get jealous of anyone, partly because I'm adamant about myself ^^ No one can ever bring me down, hahaha. I think I have too much self confidence when it comes to comparing myself to other girls next door. Is this a good thing, I wonder? Oh well... As long as I'm happy, everything can just fuck it :D

I'm talking to my Baby now, that boy makes me happy. He's so cuteee. -kisses baby. Alrighty, I'm going to wash up & sleep now. I need my beauty rest, hoho. Goodnight world!











I know I've let you down, but this time I'll never let you go.

You're the one thing I got right
The only one I let inside

Thursday, June 25, 2009 - 5:56 PM

"You really make me complete."

Monday, our faci came back from Taiwan so he took over the relief faci (: Everything went alright, so it was a good thing. Everyone were spreading rumours about the H1N1 that is in RP and that pple were all quarantined. How dumb actually. Apparently, its true that 2 students got infected with the flu virus. Omgosh freaky. Imagine last time Singapore had 0 cases, now...... It's really a sad thing. Brother fetch me home after school and home sweet home!

Tuesday, most of my classmates wore black to school, so it was kinda cool, hahaha! School was alright. Friends made my day better! After school, hang arnd then went to the MRT with my friends. I wanted to take the bus & they insisted to walk. So angry I tell you, I was complaining non stop & Justin was just disturbing me. PRINCESS WHAT, RIGHT!! Hahahahaha :D So went over to Gerald's place then went to NP as he had training. Russ & Gerald were having training so left Selena & I alone for "bonding time" so as what Russ said. Went for dinner after that & back to Gerald's place. I stayed over for the night.

Gerald didn't sleep a wink the whole night. He ordered macs breakfast for me, how sweet right, I know. Hahaha! (: He was also noticing me when I sleep, omgosh. How disturbing. My Baby is just so cute, hehe. I loveeee him..

Yesterday, cabbed to school and Enterprise Skills was plain boring. Wasn't paying much attention. Had some fire drill exercise during our second break, totally wasted our time. Brother came to school to picked me up & back to Grammy's hse. At night, went over to Gerald's place cos I just couldn't resist seeing him though I was tired. Stayed over there for the night..

School's close for some of us right now, & I'm one of them who don't have to attend school. Yeapppieexzxz. But.... we still have e-learning. Wtf I know. First day of e-learning today & it was screwed up. We just did our worksheets and submitted, that's all. Oh boy.. Then, we were all just having our usual mass convo (: E-learning wasn't that good cos lessons were screwed up but I like it, cos I get to wake up late & not travel so far. Anyway, I'm back at my Grammy's hse now! Daddy's coming over for dinner later! I miss him so much.. My dear boy is in school having training, I wish he was here with me, then perhaps we can spend more time tgther. I suddenly feel detached, I miss my room, my bed, the house.

Take me back in the arms I love
Need me like you did before
Touch me once again
& remember when
There was no one that you wanted more

Don't go you know you will break my heart
She won't love you like I will
I'm the one who'll stay
When she walks away
& you know I'll be standing here still

I'll be waiting for you
Here inside my heart
I'm the one who wants to love you more
You will see I can give you
Everything you need
Let me be the one to love you more

See me as if you never knew
Hold me so you can't let go
Just believe in me
I will make you see
All the things that your heart needs to know

You know you truly love somebody when they hurt you so badly, but all you can think about it is the times when they made you smile. True love doesn't have a happy ending or does it? In fact, True love doesn't have an ending. True love is not being with someone because you think you can be happy with that person, but because without that person you know you can never be. True love is when the only thing that makes you cry is seeing the one you care about unhappy. True love is worth waiting for even if it takes a lifetime. Then in return a lifetime of love will be waiting for you...

& yes, I just want to say that my Baby's so cute, especially when I wake him up. He'll get angsty & he'll hit the pillow. Ahhhh. -cuteness. Plus his soft cheeks, I like sinking my cheeks in them too. Too irresistable. Anyway, as you're seeing this now darling, I want you to know that you mean the whole universe to me. I love you so much, & I'll do everything and anything to keep us together. Anything that I hate comes in our way, I'll be a total bitch I swear (I think Marc will agree with me, heh). So just carry on this fairytale with me, and I assure you that everything will be beautiful, I promise!

& because I'm pretty, I'm gonna stop here, haha! -Flings hair.









When I'm lying wrapped in your arms, the whole world just fades away.

Without you, I can't sleep
I'm not gonna ever, ever let you leave

Sunday, June 21, 2009 - 5:42 PM

"You mean the world to me."

This morning, went for mass with Daddy & Brother. After that, we had sushi for lunch, yummy yum yum. Anyway, Happy Father's Day to all the Dads out there! & here's for my one and only father..

Any man can be a father, but it takes a special person to be called Dad, and its you. Daddy, you are a selfless and loving man. No matter how strong the tide may be, you always brace & perservere through it all and gave the best for me. When I'm down or happy, its you whom I can always run to. My pillar of strength, my comfort when I'm down. 18 years of my life, and you have always been there through any circumstances. You gave me great advices and you always make sure that I'm safe from any danger. I ask for anything, & you try your best to give. I can never imagine or comprehend how great your love is for me. You're kind at heart and I'm sure one day you're be rewarded eventually. You are the bestest Dad and I really thank God for you.

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary; When troubles come and my heart burdened be; Then, I am still and wait here in the silence, Until you come and sit awhile with me. You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains; You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas; I am strong, when I am on your shoulders; You raise me up: To more than I can be.

You are a special Dad, & I love you with all my heart.

Okie, back to school tmrw. I really wish there was more days in a week! So Sister is going to Indo with her boyfriend and family. How lucky, but she's gonna miss classes, sadly. I'm gonna miss her too :\ I'm superduper bored right now, I've got no idea what to do. The weather has been a killer these days and I was thinking, the weather gets hotter and more pple will start switching on the aircon and setting it to the lowest temperature. But by doing that, wouldn't global warming become worse? Oh dear.. On a side note, I need retail therapy! I've got the urge to splurge, I want to shoppp so badly!!! >:(

.
.
.

You know you truly love somebody when they hurt you so badly, but all you can think about it is the times when they made you smile. True love doesn't have a happy ending or does it? In facr True love doesn't have an ending. True love is not being with someone because you think you can be happy with that person, but because without that person you know you can never be. True love is when the only thing that makes you cry is seeing the one you care about unhappy. True love is worth waiting for even if it takes a lifetime. Then in return a lifetime of love will be waiting for you...

I'm missing my sweetheart as usual. I promise to cut down on my alcohol intake & he'll cut down on his smoking. I must stick to my promise. Heheeheee.. I love you Baby!!

edited \ 8:00pm
I'm talking to Gerald right now. He makes me happy with all his fuzzy words. Hahaha :D Received compliments that Gerald & I are sweet tgther & compliments for myself too. Oooh lalalala~~ That's why when life seemed dull, little things can brighten things up! I'm waiting for my dinner now. I miss my boyfriend and I know he misses me too.
-smiles widely

edited \ 10:46pm
Gerald: "You got everything you want baby. You gotta be strong, while I support you all the way from behind. That's how it goes right now, you hang in there. I back you up." I suddenly had a sudden rush of sad emotions. I teared, but talking to Baby has made me feel better once again. He really never fails to cheer me up. I'm happy I've got him.

I love you Gerald Lee, I wouldn't change anything for you.









What I wna most to do, is to get close to you tonight.

This could be all
I've been waiting for

Saturday, June 20, 2009 - 8:18 PM

"It's been hard but worth the fight."

Thursday, change of Science faci. I was damn happy. I don't really like my previous one that's why. Science was as usual nerve-wrecking. Lunch was outside school with my classmates (: Webcammed with Justin the whole day, that idiot was just being an idiot, haha! After school, hanged arnd with him then Daddy came to fetch me home..

Woohooo, I've got SIMS 3 in my laptop ^^ I just hope I don't get addicted to it just like Restaurant City.

Yesterday, as usual very little pple came to school as it was Math. My team members were all slacking, so I had no choice but to do all the work. I can't be like them and not do a thing right? Haiz. I've really got nothing much to say man :\ After school, had Subway with Danial, Angela, Nelson & Antron. After that, headed home, unpacked my stuff and cabbed down to Gerald's hse. The driver don't know took which route and I ended up paying more than usual! Humph. Had dinner with Gerald and his parents at Sushi Tei. The food was like W-O-A-H :D It was damn good! Gerald & I were so bloated. After that, met Girlfriend, Vic & Wolfgang. Hang arnd then we went our separated ways. Stayed over at Baby's hse, love him so much.

Baby woke up earlier than me for the first time today. Slacked arnd at home, we played SIMS tgther and all. It was great company! Then, I cabbed to my Grammy's hse. Aunt Joan is back from Paris with her husband & little Brittany. They are out with my Mom now, so I've yet to see them but I think Brittany has grown up to be a pretty girl now.

On a lighter note, guess what Baby gave me! A sunflower and an ugly doll! :D I'm so happy. Hurhur, most guys are cliche, giving roses, but I've got a sunflower from him, whee! & since last year, I've always wanted an ugly doll, and now I've received one from him! It's called Peaco. Yay! Anyway, I just cried cos my Brother went to pluck petals from my flower and he said it was an accident, now the side of the flower has no petals, urgh, was so angry.

Anyhooo, I'm bored and tired now. Just another day tmrw then school starts as usual. Dreading it so much. Okiedoks, toodles bunnyhops!































Say Hiiii to Peaco!!


I wouldn't trade one memory cause you mean too much to me.

But if I had the chance tomorrow
You know I'd do it all again

Wednesday, June 17, 2009 - 9:07 PM

"Love can blind you but also open your eyes. When you're in love, you don't see the real person at all. On the other hand, when you are jilted, or being cheated by your loved one, love open your eyes."

The sentence above is what my ever loving Daddy told me [:

Monday, slept at 2am in the morning. Tossed and turned in bed yet couldn't go to sleep. Called Gerald, he accompanied me on the phone, he sang me songs. How lovely it is to hear his voice before I sleep. He sang me a couple of songs and after, I could sleep so soundly. Had only less than 4 hours of rest then had to wake up for school. Dreaded school so badly but I don't have a choice do I? Was so lazy & sleepy in class that I skipped lunch too. After school, Brother came to picked me up. Went for lunch with Uncle George and back home. At night, met up with Daddy for awhile.

Yesterday, arrived at school early in the morning. But it was good being able to talk to Gerald so early in the morning before I start my day with the stress of school work. Communications was alright, though we had no time to finish the powerpoint. After school, headed straight back home. Had dinner cooked by Mommy, it has been very long since she last cooked so it was rather nice eating the food cooked by her. What's more, its my favorite (:

HAPPY 4TH MONTH ANNIVERSARY SWEETHEART. on 16/06/09
We went through the ups & downs, yet we've made it this far. I love you, and I want to carry on spending my days knowing you love me and so do I.

Earl Nightingale once said that the way to have a happy relationship is to "treat the other partner as the most important person on the earth." If both partners can't treat each other this way, they can't be happy in their relationship. After a few years in a relationship, people stop working on their marriage & begin to take each other for granted. Outcome? Love dies of starvation without the feedback of appreciation, admiration, display of affection & repeated affirmations..

I once went through this phase. & I think I've finally found the person that I really want to hold so dear onto. & this time it's gna be different. That, despite all that has happened, I still chose to believe. So believe with me.. Gerald Lee Wei-En, you mean everything to me. Without you, I'm just like a little girl who still dreams of her prince charming. But now, you are indeed my bright and shining armour! I love you very much hon!

Today was tiring. Third day of school so far, not that good I'll say. I'm just worn out ): On a lighter note, Girlfriend came to school to see me. I finally saw her after so long and I was over the moon. I realised I have been spending all my free time with Gerald and have been neglecting her, now I must try to accommodate. Had the retake of Cognitive UT today, which was quite fucked up, it was kinda difficult. But nevermind. Met Girlfriend, Charmaine & Angeline, we headed down to the Pasar Malam at Causeway Point. Met Adib then we went for dinner and back home. When I was in the bus on the way home, 3 Malay boys were totally checking me out from the outside when the bus stopped. Their stares totally gave me freaks & Adib as usual was disturbing me -.-

I'm really tired right now. But guess what!? I've been playing Restaurant City the whole day, everyday. So addictive. -screams. I started playing only last week, & now I'm at level 11. I beat boyfriend to the max, wheee.. ^^v I feel as though I have no more energy left, its as though I need a long vacation. Damn! I'm so looking forward to the weekends where I see my love. Okiedoks, I'm going to wash up now. Goodnight!

13 June's peektures!


















Stay with me till we grow old, & we'd live each day in the spring time.

I'm a prom queen
& you're just from a marching band

Sunday, June 14, 2009 - 9:56 PM

"When you smile, you make me intoxicated and my mind whirl."

I'm finally back after 4 days of not coming home and staying over at Gerald's place. Whenever I do, time always pass so fast. But as long as I have every opportunity, I would spend my time with him.

Thursday, went for my haircut with Sister. In the evening, went over to Gerald's place & stayed over. He finally finished his exams so I just wna spend time with him. In the night, drank a little and all.

Friday, woke up kinda late. We had Sushi Tei for dinner. Woah, it was damn good. Thanks hon for everything.

Yesterday, saw Glenn, Jingy, Kenneth and the others playing soccer nearby. It was nice seeing them somehow. In the afternoon, headed down to Bugis to meet Jane. We went to church but couldn't find seats so we decided not to attend mass in the end. Slacked at TCC for time to pass. Thomas met us soon after then we cabbed down to Arab street. Lazy pple like us don't walk but cab, haha. Justin came along too! I'm glad to see him, especially with that smile of his, made me know he's doing fine but maybe not that fine, but still (: They left so I cabbed back to Gerald's hse arnd midnight.

Slept in till afternoon. Went for evening mass with Gerald, I'm glad that boy went to church with me cos he've not been attending mass for years! Russell and his Girlfriend came and we went to 3-Monkeys at Holland V for dinner. The food there isn't that bad [: Cabbed home after. I wish I could stay longer but fuck, my holidays end today, school starts tmrw. I gotta focus on my school work and stop thinking that I have holidays everyday.

.
.
.

I swear insecurities kills. I rly don't know how long my heart can take. One day, soon enough, I'll burst, I know that for sure. Trust has to be gained, but I'm sorry to say till now its hard. Behind my head lies the incident that have happened. It hurts to the max, that everytime I just end up slapping myself. Maybe in time to come, I'll just be slitting my wrist. What can I do to ease my hurt? You don't know, neither do I know. I cannot go on holding this thin thread of trust I have in you, its wearing thin. But anyway, all I can do now is tell myself to trust you but you know telling myself that won't rly help.

You were the best I ever had, you were the best I ever wanted, but just that incident could just pull us all apart bcos of how I'm feeling- Insecure. My intuition and gut feeling don't always go wrong. So am I then to trust them or you? Emotions are hard to hide. If the worse have to happen, you know I love you but I just have to let you go. At the end of the day, I 'll ask myself, "Did I let go of a gem so rare?" That I will never know but the risk I'm taking all along.

I really hope we could go back to the start when I used to declare to everyone how happy I was with you. I really hope that it stays that way. Because all I know is even years of a relationship that has been built up can still be crushed in just a single minute. Still, you mean the world to me. When you hugged me, I felt so comfortable like the first time I met you. The way you looked at me, into my eyes. & the way you assured me & told me those 3 words.. From the day I met you, I knew there wasn't a day I can live without you. You've become significant in my life, a part of me... I need you.

There's so much things I wanna say to you. But I guess it takes time. Like you always say, "Its easier to forgive than to forget." I totally agree, for those incidents haunt me at times. I'm relieved I didn't make that impulsive decision last night & I also hope I made the right decision. For now, I won't doubt you. I will just try to be happy, forgetting what happened and live for the moment, alright? People do make mistakes and they ought to have a second chance. However, you know chances only come once. So prove to me Baby that you're worth it.

Its getting late, I have to adjust my body clock. I pray school will not be so stressing. Persevere Joy! Okay, off to wash up, goodnight world!

























Baby & mine SIMS' character :D


















Cut these lips & they'd read, I love you.

If you call me today
I'd say that I'm fine

Wednesday, June 10, 2009 - 5:31 PM

"Fairytales are those that don't mention the bad parts. But we can still do a fairytale."

Yesterday evening, went down to the chalet. It was alright. I gave clubbing a miss cos I couldn't make it, really sad. I miss Aubrey, Starnia, and the others. So was quite sad I couldn't go see you guys. Hopefully another time! At night, played drinking games, drank, laughed, and the list goes on.. It was fun seeing pple turn red, cos I don't so yea.. Hahaha! I remember we went to the bowling alley, & I fell asleep on the table, and my friends purposely left me there. Thank God I knew, I know they won't abandon me. Haha :D Arnd 2am+, Antron brought a few of us go rounding. Went to Changi Village, where you can see all those trannies. I was half dead in the car, and was feeling quite fucked up cos of certain stuff but everything was okay in the end. Came back to the chalet, we were talking about ghost stories, gosh.. Totally freaked me out to the max.

I'm so so tired right now. As you know chalet don't allow you to have much rest. I didn't stay for another night cos I'm really too worn out. I need my bed ): The weather has been a killer for the past few days, making my mood rather up and down. At times, I really wish Singapore snowed. But cuddling with my Baby on his soft comfy bed, under the cotton-feeling comforter, with the air con on, is just whoa. Hahaha!

On a side note, the next iPhone 3G S is coming up soon, I want it in my hands. -pouts. I want a new phone. I want a new camera. I want new clothes. I want more bags. I want nice pretty things. I just want more moolahs to buy everything I want. But then again, I have to burst my own bubble. D-a-m-n.

Hmmm, sometimes you get really bored at home, especially when you're alone, you let your mind run, as free as it can be. At times I feel very fortunate having born in a Molina family. Okie, sounds weird of me saying. But Daddy always tell me because of we're mixed that's why my siblings & I are beautiful. & we don't do what other kids do when we were younger, cause we travel, eat at restaurants & spend time together at country clubs.. Really, I miss those moments! & that just at 18, we don't even need to work right now because we got much funding from our parents. But as time passes, asking money from them isn't that easy.. It makes me feel bad whenever I run out of moolahs, and I really want something, then I'll go forward & ask them in that sulky tone.. Hehe Daddy really knows me best whenever he knows I want something.

Like he always say, "Comparing yourself to others & you'd find yourself really fortunate, having almost everything you want. Look at your possessions. & you don't even have to work besides getting experience, & learning how hard it is to make money." Even my aunts & uncles are doing great, while Grammy still gets her profit from her shares at Jack's Place. & Grandpa doing his business in China & the other parts of the world. I really appreciate everything that I once had & am having now. & I'm grateful to be where I am. Because instead of crying over something bad that have happened over the years or the feeling of something not going right, I should smile, because there's so many things to be happy about!

W4L6n CHALET PHOTOS. (CLICK!!)


Pull me under & cover me with dreams.

All the broken dreams
Just take it away

Tuesday, June 09, 2009 - 3:41 PM

"Time spent with you have always been great."

Monday blues like they always say. Guess what!? I stayed home all day yesterday except at night. I tell you, its really boring, especially when you are all alone at home. So I took like more than 1 hour to eat my lunch cos I was really lazy. Haven't been meeting my Girlfriends lately, they have been busy with exams and all. Our timings just clashed, sad to say.. I can't wait to catch up with all of them! I miss you guys. I don't want to imagine 2 more years down the road, that I'll still feel like that, I don't wanna drift away from you all ): On a lighter note, I changed my layout. Is it pretty? Well, I think it is. Heheee.

In the night, went down to Red House at East Coast Park for dinner with Gerald & his parents. The food was good and damn filling. His Mom just had to make me finish eating the chilli crab, so no choice but ate. They left so Gerald & I just hang arnd near the sea. The wind was brushing against my face non stop. Having Gerald by my side, just made me feel so happy. Cabbed back to my place & Gerald stayed over. Wheeee... I love that boyfriend of mine :D

Anyway, my days can never been better. Every moment spent with Gerald is always wonderful! I'm really happy :D His words are always sugar coated, they really will make you feeling on cloud nine. Still, I know he meant whatever he said, & I believe him.

Sometimes time just flies by, before you even realize it.. It's all over. So I always try to live each day like it's my last. Surrounding myself with only the people I love & doing things that make me happy. Even if I have troubles, I know that by tomorrow they will all fade away. If they don't, I'll make them go away soon enough. So this is what it's like to live without owing your life to anyone or anything else but you (;

Love me with all of your heart, that's all I want, every night & day. Just promise me this, that you'd give me all of your kisses, every winter, every summer, every time, when you're far apart or near me, with every beat of your heart.

He went back arnd 2pm+ and I'm missing him alrdy. Just why must he have exams this week! Urgh.. But its fine, I'll be seeing him on Thursday. Damn, I just can't get enough of you Baby. Okiedoks, I just packed my bag, gotta head down to the chalet in awhile. Till then...

















I miss the lips that make me fly.

All the broken dreams
Just take it away

Sunday, June 07, 2009 - 11:59 PM

"The important thing is you find happiness in yourself."

Went to DOME for breakfast with Brother, breakfast was good. I'm so gonna drag Gerald down there one day for dining (: Went for mass at the Cathedral. It was as usual packed and hot inside. After that, went down to Suntec Convention Centre for Daddy's Home Team Academy Exhibition sort of thing. I was sad when I was there, I didn't managed to see the K9 dogs, urgh. After everything, Brother & I headed down to Punggol to explore. Went to Punggol beach, right inside to just take a look. It was indeed nice! Skipped clubbing. In the evening, cabbed down to Gerald's place then we went to Copthorne King's hotel for Penang buffet. Well, as I was not a fussy eater, I think the food was alright. Next, we went to Dempsey, initially wanted to have ice cream but in the end, ended up at Mykii at Holland V. Macaroons were so delicious, I totally fell in love with it. Late at night, Baby's parents sent me back home, I'm so thankful.

You know that boyfriend of mine has been to many of the places in the world, some including, Rome, Europe, Vernice, Spain, London, etc... I envy him, I really do. His parents are also so loving, they go on honeymoon trips to different countries every year I think. Gosh, envy much. But its fine, I must learn to be contented with what I have. So anyway, Baby & I planned to go to Club Med during our long holidays at the end of the year. So happy ^^v

Love is
a reason for living
a reason for trying
a reason to die for

We are not yet defeated & we never will & whatever happens, I know I'll always find myself back in your arms again because love will keep us together. I'm beginning to think that maybe it's not just how much you love someone, maybe what matters is who you are when you're with them. & I will go to sleep tonight thinking of everything that you've said feeling like the most blissful & loved person ever...

Is this a dream that I refused to wake up from? Or just a fantasy that I'm constantly dreaming of? Please tell me this is real. I don't want my whole world crashing down on me, again. & there I go again, you hear me saying.... I miss you, Gerald.























































When the clouds have departed, would you still be right here with me?

Cause when it comes to forever
We should be together

Saturday, June 06, 2009 - 10:41 PM

"I never knew what was worth until I almost lost it."

Went to Lot1 in the afternoon. Guess what, Cotton On had a massive big sale. They slashed prices like mad. GO GO GO SHOP THERE!! :D Had lunch with Sister & Jack then I headed back home. The weather itself was such a killer. I just had dinner with Mommy. People from different walks of life just could make my day. This food stall holder whom I was buying from told my Mommy- "Ni De Nu Er Hen Piao Liang" which means "Your daughter's very pretty. Heeheee!

Anyhoo, my money in my bank is depleting, fast, and I mean real fast. This is very saddening, very very very saddening. I wish money falls from the sky. But then again, wishful thinking huh. Cheryl was telling me some girl whom I don't even know, is claiming that she knows me damn well, but in fact I have no idea who she is. Okay nevermind. I'm tired, I'm feeling so hot too. By the way, guess what!? I'M SO IN LOVE WITH THE NEW CANON DIGITAL IXUS 100IS. The red one is so gorgeous and pretty. I want it in my hands!! Gaaahh..

Clubbing tmrw anyone? Joy's a lonely girl without her bestest friends arnd ):

.
.
.

& what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,
& rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we've been told & some choose to believe it
I know they're wrong, wait & see.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers & me.

Who said that every wish would be heard & answered
when wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that
& someone believed it,
& look what it's done so far.
What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing?
& what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
the lovers, the dreamers & me.

All of us under its spell,
we know that it's probably magic....

Have you been half asleep
& have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors?
The voice might be one& the same.
I've heard it too many times to ignore it.
It's something that I'm supposed to be.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
the lovers, the dreamers & me.

On the side note, I cannot express how much Gerald means to me. I love him, and I really hope we'll pull through all storm. Deep down inside, you know how I truly feel for you. 10 more days to our 4th month (: Putting away all the heartaches, times spent with you have always been the best time of my life. I want to continue having our pictures taken together and writing our own fairytale story. I'm the dreamer, you're the realist, and you make my dreams come true. I love you. Goodnight, xoxo.

WEBCAM CRAZEEEEEEE!


































































































Everytime I breathe I take you in, & my heart beats again.

Everything will change
Drink to all that we've lost

Friday, June 05, 2009 - 11:59 PM

"Everyday I miss you and miss the times we spent together."

Wednesday, woke up having a shock from my Brother. He had bruise and cuts all over him, worse still, he broke a little of his 2 front teeth. Boy was I so worried for him.. After that, headed down to Holland to meet Gerald and Wolfgang. Slacked at Coffee Bean again, great company I shall say! After that, went to Gerald's hse, then we watch Taken, awesome show (: Wolfgang went back and I stayed over at Gerald's hse again. Gosh, I know I've been staying over a lot of times alrdy, its like my second home. Heehee..

Yesterday, went over to Coffee Bean again in the afternoon. Did my read up on STB & F1 info. In the evening, met Marc at Holland. Catch up with him and all, it was good. Wolfgang & Glenn joined us thereafter. Cabbed down to Grandmother's hse later in the night. Kinda quarreled with Gerald again, but I guess we kinda settle everything alrdy. I shan't be too emotional or sensitive anymore. But oh well, you know at times, its hard to understand the matters of the heart :\

When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favourite things
& then I don't feel so bad

Overslept by 1 hour this morning. I had to rushed like mad. Luckily Adib was willing to wait for me at the MRT station. From there, we trained down to STB. The interview went alright, it was good (: After that, went to Far East with Adib cos apparently, he haven't gone there before. Gerald joined us soon after. Whooo, it was perfect. Adib went off and I spent time with my Baby. We rested at Wheelock and we catch the movie Angels & Demons. The show was nice but we both were freezing like mad in the cinema. But the company was awesome. How can it not be right? Hahaha! Had dinner then he sent me to my Grammy's hse. I'm at Grammy's place now and am staying over. Now that he left, I totally miss him..

Oh oh, did I mentioned that I love Baby's mac computer! Plus all the webcam effects and all. I'm jealous of him all the time. That lucky boy always get what he wants, haha :D



Muffin Daddy baked for me!!














































My heart is yours now.

It dawned to me that when you fight
For your own happiness, you fight alone

Tuesday, June 02, 2009 - 6:26 PM

"Life is not a cycle of karma. Because pple are pple, they realised how much something means to them after they've lost it."

This will be a very long and wordy post.

Saturday, Sunday, Monday was spent with Gerald Lee. Stayed over since Saturday evening and now I'm finally back home. We went to Jelita to rent the dvd, Bolt. The show is damn nice, everything's just so cute! But we haven't got time to watch Taken. Didn't go to church on Sunday, what a sinner ): All your fault G! & I always end up sleeping at super late hours thanks to you! Dinner with his parents & him was always great.

Yesterday, met Wolfgang & Vic and slacked at Holland V's Coffee Bean. Gerald & Kenneth was there too. Everyone started going off so Vic & I went to buy some alcohol and just drink & talk. Then, Gerald picked me up, and headed back to his place.

.
.
.

Everything seem oh-so-perfect. But yesterday, an incident just brought my whole world upside down.

I was so hurt. I never imagine a person who once picked me up from my previous fall could actually neglect my feelings and just pull me back down to the ground again. How would you feel if any of you were me? I was so hurt. I cried like a baby. I slapped myself for being so stupid. I bang my head against the wall for believing in you. I refused to tell you what I found out, cos its pointless. I've been through alot, and when I tell you what I've known, you will deny, for sure. Ask yourself, did you? In the end, I forgave you. Have you ever ask yourself why you actually deserve my forgiveness? Cos baby, I love you. I gave you my heart not expecting you to break it. You know it very well that ever since I met you, my impression of things change for the good. However, you disappointed me, terribly. Now, I'm back to where I was before, not trusting someone that much anymore.

Lie - Verb [I] lying, lied, lied
To say or write something which is not true in order to deceive someone

Lying will not get you anywhere, we are good at finding excuses for ourselves.

You made me realize I was seriously blinded by love at times.
I find myself drowning in a pool of tears these days, even now as I write this. I find myself in a pressure cooker position. Whereby you don't even know when the pressure will act up. I realized you might have changed or a tad of feelings for me. Unknowingly. I guess its time. & I'll move on with whatever you've given me..

Fact: Guys still lie through their teeth even though the other person already clearly knows the true fact.

My weekend has been great cause Gerald was arnd, but I had a terrible one because my heart was broken. Why? Because I just had to find out stuff which was so unbelievable. What I found out and how he've been treating me just contradicts each other. How could he lie to me? He even had to intention to play me out I'm sure. Tell me, is such guy worth going through so much for? Does he even deserve me? Right now, I just don't wna trust anyone that much anymore. He said that whatever he said wasn't true. That's a lie, period. I know, I know alot of things. You don't have to lie your way through so I could feel better or you wanna save yourself. At the end of the day, I'm sure goodness prevails and I always bound to find out the truth. God is fair enough to make us realize the things that makes us blind. In everything we do, there are loopholes in which the other person would stumble across. & I'm constantly that lucky..

Just because he knows I love him so much, doesn't mean he can take advantage of the fact that he can do whatever he wants. Cos when enough is enough, it really is.

I don't know whats right & wrong anymore. Cause everything seemed so twisted these days. I guess only deep in your heart you know the answers Gerald. & whether I deserve to be treated this way by you. I'm hurt. & I'm starting to wonder if we could even last long enough. At times I wish I was single, really. You treated me like a princess most of the time, this time, a child as though I don't know anything. I'm 18 this year, just 1 year younger than you, but my experiences has taught me, that's why I grow from them & I've learnt alot. & that is why I know stuff. I can alrdy read through you, know how you behave & even read between the lines. I've gone through too much in my past, & each time I just wished I could finally find a good man. I thought you came into my world & was different from the rest. So I let my guard down. But I'm wronged. I've grown to realize this cold hard fact that everyone's just the same. You make me believe, yet you tore me down too. How could I ever gain the trust I have in you back again?

I don't need an explanation if all else fails. Someday you'll know how I really feel for you, I just hope one day you do not regret when everything falls apart, even though I'd still be standing by your side, but I guess I'd kill myself with that fall.. I can't imagine why you actually said those stuff. I know you mean whatever you say, however, you still deny when I asked you. I wna trust you Gerald. But it's heart-wrenching. If I'm really not the girl you want, and you want another like you claimed you wanted (some bitch in your school I presume?), then go ahead. I won't hold you down any longer. Time may be limited for us if such things continue, I guess like what they always say; Let nature takes its course. Whats not meant to be yours, will not be. What meant to be will eventually find it's way back to you.

Letting emotions flow through my eyes while staring at my reflection. Trying to suss things out while hating every bit of my guts. It's an ironic human condition. Have you watched yourself cry so hard. You cry harder upon the reality of being ever so crushed? Then again, I remind myself it's just a phase & its about time to take a turn. But its always easier to write pain than to write happiness. So many unanswered questions. Why?

Cause with you I'd withstand all of hell to hold your hand.

Because of you, my heart continues to love.
Because of you, I've opened myself up to heartaches.
Because of you, I smile, I tear & I laugh.
Because of you, my life turned around.
Because of you, something new began, from the bleak & old.
Because of you, my heart feels warm.
Because of you, I know what Love is.
Because of you, this is reality.
I have always love you, what about you?

All I got to say, I've said it here. You don't go arnd telling pple, or YOUR EX GIRLFRIENDS what we do cos that's for us to know only. By letting them know all the details, shows that you don't even respect me. & if you're uninterested in me, leave me. Just a month back, you were even unsure of your feelings for me. You weren't sure if you love me, if you don't, leave me. You could also let pple know which kind of girl you're going to find after me. What does that show? That you're just taking me for granted. Aren't you grateful for the things you alrdy have my dear boy? You make it sound so easy that when we break up, you will just go find someone else. If you really could, leave me. Those words I saw hurt me really bad. From what I know, one of your ex girlfriends were the best you ever had. I'm sorry to say I can't be the one good enough. Love me for me, and not for anything else. If you can't stay with that fact, leave me.

If your heart can never settle down for me, leave me. If you think it doesn't hurt to know more pple, go ahead, go find the joy in finding all the love you can, which you think they can give you the love like mine. So be it, leave me. Just weeks back, you could even say you wanted another, even though you're with me. You hurt me again and again with words. Don't tell me you didn't mean what you said. Cos boy, deep down inside you know the truth. If you can't even love me for me, can't even cherish me, can even think of playing me out, you don't deserve me, so just leave me.

"You have to be prepared when such things happen. That's why don't take it too seriously. If you're hurt emotionally, you can overcome it with strength." -Daddy
I think my Dad is the best man on earth. He knows it all, when I'm sad or happy. He's always there to guide me through my days. He will NEVER let me fall. I'm thankful.

No matter what happened, I'll grace through any storm. I'll be strong, I know I will be.

Does a smile really depicts the happiness in you?
















































Mistakes don't mean a thing if you don't regret them.

When you see your life
In someone else's eyes

Friday, May 29, 2009 - 7:25 PM

"Come to me when you can't handle, I'll try to make you happy."

In the night without stars
You're my light in the dark
And all the things you told me
Resound in my mind
While your thinking strokes my days
Emptying out the mind
Taking away the sleep

Last Saturday, met Zhen & Ruiming at Bugis. Shopped here & there, spent alot. Urgh, will someone just confiscate my ATM card? :\ Walked arnd until legs were aching. Parted with that couple and made my way down to Grandmother's hse. Anyway, I wasn't able to make it to Gerald's tournament today. But guess what, my baby brought back a Gold. They trashed the other schools! So proud of you baby, you & your team did absolutely well :D So as you can tell, he was totally over the moon.

Last Sunday, headed down to church in the morning. Daddy came back from Sydney alrdy & he joined us. Went back straight home after, washed up then headed down for Glenys' party, celebrated her 18th birthday. Caught up with people I miss dearly too, it was awesome (: Everyone went home late at night then a few of us sat by the pool side, sipping alcohol. Cabbed to Gerald's place after that & stayed over. Ended up sleeping at 2.30am.

Monday, class was alright. Dozed off at the later part of the day.. After class, had Enterprise Skills UT, it was kinda tough. After UT, headed down to Holland. Revised my work together with Gerald & Wolfgang. Went for dinner, slacked arnd then went back to Gerald's place. Stayed over for a second night. Slept at 2.30am again. Haven't got enough rest for 2 consecutive nights, it resulted in me dozing off every now & then in class.

Tuesday, went to school as usual. Gerald has been such a sweetheart, he has always been isn't it! He paid for my cab fare to school in the morning for 2 days. I'm so thankful, you're just simple awesome. Thanks darling (: Math UT was alright, it is actually simple but I just couldn't do, so urgh! Daddy came to fetch me home, Adib came along to! I'm such a nice friend to offer him a ride home while that time he was so mean, his dad sent him to school & he didn't want to pick me up. Roarrrrr. It feels so good to be home even after 2 nights out.

However, the 2 nights spent at Gerald's place was splendid. As I was lying in your arms, we spoke, we spoke of love. You knew what I wanted, you knew what I'm afraid of, you knew me. Tears rolled down my cheeks, I didn't want to shed any tear, but you were just too good to be true for me. Indeed I'm thankful of how things are right now, but am also afraid of losing something I'm holding so dear onto. My dreams always have happy endings like fairytales, and I want it in reality too. I love you bayyybehhh! I will always be there for you, promise, cross my heart.
& I will never forget, the first time I laid my eyes on you..

Wednesday, I tried sleeping early however I was still tired when I woke up. Bjorn decided to take the bus in the morning so met him on the bus & went to school with him. Went to class, on my lappy and check my emails. One email message came from my sweetheart. First thing that came to my mind was, A Break Up? Hahaha, HELL NO :D If any of you might be wondering how we are right now, I'm telling you, we're doing absolutely fine, everything's is in place for us. So anyway, Enterprise Skills is always boring and tough, the faci is partly to be blamed. Lessons aint interesting anymore ): I hate periods to the maxxx, I complain like a bitch when I'm pms-ing. & when I have my period, its irritating. My legs will get so weak I cannot walk much if not they will ache like crazy & I'll get super tired and agitated easily. Roarrrrr..

Yesterday, dreaded going to school cos it was Science. My team was alright, just that sometimes they don't do work so I just had to flare up. Sorry guys ): As usual, only for Science presentations, I'm so damn nervous. After school, had Communications test which I think was alright. Headed down to Causeway for dinner with Angela, Danial, Antron, Cheryl & Nelson after. Talked & gossip (WTH RIGHT!!?!) then went to the library to do work. Gerald was a sweetheart, he accompanied me on the phone throughout the whole journey although I know he has his own work to do. I love you darling. Before I slept, I cannot describe how nice the feeling is- hearing your most beloved person's voice and falling asleep knowing that you're loved by him. It makes me happy \(^.^)/

T.G.I.F (: School has been tiring. Today was the last day of school then followed by 2 weeks of holidays. Well, I know the 2 weeks will pass by fast. Worse still, RP's holidays are different from other polys, which is totally a boohoo. But its okay, Gerald & I will always find time for each other. Heh! So had Math today, same thing happened like yesterday, my team mates were all slacking. If you know me, I'm a person who MUST complete the assigned work given asap, & I must do the work before going for break or anything. I did the work all by myself, sigh.. After class, had Science UT, damn bloody tough. & you know what, we have to retake Cognitive Process UT again just bcos the UT Client has problems and it didn't save our answers, therefore must retake. So unfair, damn it!

On a lighter note, I think I've salvaged a friendship which was lost. Did I do the right thing? I hope it is. I've forgiven you. I hope we can still be good friends like always! *inserts bunnies.

Anyhoo, I need to go swimming soon, miss those times with Sister at Temasek Club. I miss going Sentosa with the girls too. Need to find time to catch up with alot of people! Oh, & another thing I just felt like mentioning. I've got Photoshop CS3 in my lappy now! Which means no need to waste time switching on my computer and using my CS2 there. Yayeeee ^^v I need to lose weight damn terribly.

Missing Gerald Lee Wei-En as usual.... Kayy byeeee :D

GLENYS' 18TH BIRTHDAY PHOTOS. (CLICK!!)


His gold medal :D










I simply love this!! Thanks to Gerald's mom! (:




Think we could last forever? Tell me.

Songs for you
Truth for me

Friday, May 22, 2009 - 9:59 PM

"You can be with whoever you want, but you can never be mine twice. I want to be your one & only forever."

"There are people who have money & people who are rich."
- Coco Chanel

Monday, reached school kinda early.. Cognitive today was alright. Faci gave us sweets & light sticks! He's super nice :D After school, stayed back for awhile then headed home. & as I'm tired, I'll have this tendency to rush home as fast as I can. Unknowingly, I just cross this junction without looking, and when I just stepped onto the road, I turned my head to the right, and omg, I saw a car coming towards me. I was shocked, I stood rooted to the ground for a few seconds and ran past. This is my second time. The first time, I got hit. Urgh, why am I so careless!! >:( Came home, studied for my Cognitive Process test and have to forgo Spiderman on Channel 5. Booo..

Tuesday, our faci had an accident therefore he didn't turn up for class, so we had the chance of choosing our own team mates. Class was alright I guess.. After school, stayed in school to study and went back home after. At night, Mommy bought for favorite Chee Kuey, which has been a very long time since I ate one. So like yeah, slept kinda early. Supposed to wake up at 4am to revise for my Cognitive UT but didn't in the end.

Wednesday, the old faci again. I wasn't paying attention at all, I shldn't even have come, gosh.. Had test after school then went to BSC for mass with Wolfgang in the evening. Gerald met us there after & we went for dinner at Queensway. I'm a happy girl :D Came back to his place & I stayed over. I have always love the company of Gerald. You got me so hypnotized, so mesmerized.

Yesterday, skipped school cos I was really lazy. Baby went to school while I had to wait for him to come back. Revised for my Science and all. In the evening, went down to Fushionopolis to study with Liangfu. His girlfriend came then he went off, leaving me all alone, urgh. Felt lonely after that so decided to go home. Didn't even eat my dinner cos I had no cash with me & I didn't want to withdraw. How pathetic, period. Went over to Grammy's place to stay.

Went to school with Sister this morning. Comparing the distance to school from CCK & Pasir Ris, a hell lot of difference man! Math today was just plain sickening. Presentation was screwed somehow. Alot of my classmates just left like that, at least I'm not as bad as them, haha! After school, went to play Wii with them. It was fun!! :D Plans to sheesha & all were canceled cos suddenly no girls want to go and I didn't want to be the only girl. Oh, Science UT today was postponed cos the UT Client had problems. How irritating, I studied for it.

I'm super worn out right now. I was supposed to study but plans failed I guess. I am joining Wakeboarding, an expensive sport. I feel bad always spending Dad's money ): But I like it, I want it, raaahhhh.. Daddy's coming back from Sydney soon, yay. Miss him much. I'm going to wash up & hit the pillows and my blankie now. On a side note, moolahs depleting. No money = Unhappy Joy. My incessantly shopping will never cease, pfft. & yes, my baby is having his Rugby tournament tmrw. All the best sweetheart, always right behind you!

So... He open his new cigarette pack. Take a stick out. Wish upon it & put it back. That will be his last stick he'll smoke. That was your wish, that was my wish, that was our wish..



Together we stand, I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand.

Some things in life
You just can't find

Sunday, May 17, 2009 - 8:20 PM

"We made it our way, the way we wanted it to go."

Friday night, went over to Gerald's place. Went for dinner at Holland V and stayed over (: I love every minute spent with you love.

Yesterday, we slept till afternoon then lazed around till evening with him. He also plays Restaurant City. Gosh, I'm seriously tempted to play! With alot of my classmates playing during lesson, they are so distracted, I don't want to be one of them, haha! Cabbed home around 10pm+. Washed up and slept.

Sunday Kind of Love~~
Went to church today. Breakfast with Daddy & facial after that. It's nice being arnd with Daddy where we can just talk about anything under the sun. I love my dad! So, the weekend had gone by extremely fast this time. Everything just felt so rushy. I wished I had slowed things down a little. At least I could appreciate the every moment. I miss Gerald now. I miss him so much...

HAPPY 3RD MONTH ANNIVERSARY SWEETHEART. on 16/05/09
It might seem like a short while, but its its like we've been together forever.
Cause like what Kevin Costner said - Love. I think the only thing that keeps people truly safe & happy is love. I think that's where men get their courage, that's where countries get their strength, that's where God grants us His miracles. In the absence of love there is nothing in this world worth fighting for. & that's exactly what we or in fact, I strongly believe in.

Thank you for everything since the day we knew each other baby. Thank you for being so caring & sweet towards me. Thank you for paying everything all the time, including cab fares, dinners, you name it.. Thank you for letting me vent my anger at you. Thank you for not bursting into flames when I whine. Thank you for loving me for who I am. & the list goes on...

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Oh well, I just never regret being me. I'm fortunate for everything I have, both intangible & tangible. My life, my possessions, my love. Oh boy, I should be grateful. Cause like my family could even afford anything for all of us. I indeed am.

When the little girl holds on to the snow globe so gently in her hands, she refused to tilt it or shake it in any way because she is afraid that one day her castle in the snow globe will be destroyed. She may be standing at the world outside peering in, but she believed she will live in the palace & roll around in the white linen snow someday when she finally finds her way in with love. True blue love.
That girl is me, feeling that way...

Why does the weekend pass so fast? Can't Friday & Saturday at least pace down for me? Now I gotta wait for the next weekend to rest and meet my love! School's been tiring. I've been feeling of doing lots of shopping man! But control! I don't have much to burn right now.. Boo. School's tmrw, & I need to revise for my UTs which is starting on next week onwards. I'm not prepared at all.

Goodnight cupcakes, xoxo.

Gerald's pressie really cost me a bombxzx in total.






Hardcore camwhoring!


















































I only have eyes for you.

The public aspect of love is chivalry
The private aspect of love is adultery

Friday, May 15, 2009 - 7:49 PM

""When you were young you could go where you liked but soon, men will bind you and you cannot go where you please..." Our Lord to St. Peter."

Monday, went early to school wanting to use my lappy in the morning but ended up not being able to access the Internet and all, thus had to wait till damn long then went to the IT Helpdesk. Lesson today was alright, lunch with most of my classmates, it was good. After school, went for some Excel workshop, which was alright, but boring and tiring. Daddy came to pick me up thereafter.

Gerald: Bored ):
Joy: HAHA tired I'm instead.
Gerald: Tired I'm instead. Woah, I think you really tired. HAHA.

I was supposed to actually say "Haha, I'm tired instead."

Tuesday, school was alright. Went for lunch with my classmates. Kinda of like saw J* not far way & I was pulling Melvin, asking him to hide me. I don't know why I don't want to face him either. I think I've long put those incident behind, but still, I cannot understand why he actually didn't bother to approach me personally to say anything? Its very upsetting. To him its like, "ignorance is bliss". Okay, I shan't talk so much about it anymore. After school, went to En's class to meet her. Webcammed with my sweetheart. That boy of mine turned 19 on this day (12 May)! Baby boy, you heard everything I wanted to say, so yea. Love you muchiee (: Tennis try outs after that, it was alright, but damn tiring I tell you. Finished at 9pm+, was super worn out alrdy. Managed to find someone who stays near me & I shared cab with her back home. Came home, didn't want to rest early somehow, cos a part of me was missing, I felt weird. Talked to baby, & we webcammed for hours. Time seriously flies. In the end, slept at 1am+.

You make me happy. You let me complain and whine about anything to you. You take it in, & more ever made me smile again. You do anything to enlighten me & make me happy. No matter under what circumstances, you always say you love me. You always pout, but I think that's what so cute about you. You are willing to do anything for me to make me smile, which I think is so sweet. We make each other happy day to day and I'm more than contented. We don't meet everyday, only once a week or sometimes once every 2 weeks, however we still yearn for each other, as we believed "Absense makes the heart grow fonder", right? I like it when you are so blur at times. I remembered the first time I stole glances at you. & now, I love you for you are mine. While you remembered from the time you sneaked peeeeks, but now, we are where we are. There is nothing more I want, you made me feel good enough about every single thing. You are amazing, you really are.

Gerald: Baby you are my fetish, my object of desire, my eyecandy. All that in one. & of course, my love.

Wednesday, faci was damn damn damn boring to the maxxxx. I was super tired the whole day that my friends could actually tell. Angela was so nice, she decided to take my share of work to do as she knew I was too tired and needed rest. After class, Nelson actually realised I was rather quiet today, amazingly. Haha! Had some dry run mock test after school. Then went for this F1 Race Ambassador interview. I just went for fun [: After everything, headed down to Northpoint with Adib for dinner and back home. We talked here & there, and he's super funny as usual. I'm having bad complexion these days, lack of rest and all, killing me really badly.

Gerald: You are one tough cookie I swear. Proud to be your boyfriend. But on a side note uh darling, don't take out on pple uh, take out on me. Haha, I understand you frustrated, they might not, yeahh.
Joy: I'm the cookie, then you are my jar. You hold me close and always arnd whenever whereever (: Hehee yeah I know.
Gerald: Oh gosh, hhahaha.
Joy: But can't be help uh.
Gerald: I am like smiling at that la.
Joy: Hehee!
Gerald: Fuck, you are fucking cute. Cannot stand it, hahahaha.
Joy: Ah baby. Correct isn't it?
Gerald: Yeap correct, hahaha. Then my lid is tightly shut, always my cookie in my jar :D
Joy: Aww okay I like that! The last sentence ^^
Gerald: Hehehe (:

Lovely conversations I had with Gerald so far this week. They are too awesome so I had to list some here. YAY!

Thursday, had Science lesson. I think my faci really dislike me. She picked on me again, saying that I have potential, blah blah blah, yet I'm not showing it. As you know I dislike Science, its damn bloody confusing. But I love my team mates- Angela, Danial, Hidayu & Juraimy (: So Cheryl asked me, "Your boyf in another school, you aint scared?" I replied with a firm "No." I have faith in Gerald and I know he won't cheat on me, right hun? After school, headed down to Causeway with Sister. Bought stuff I wanted to buy, money depleting yet again, sigh.. Had dinner at Jack's Place, our favorite! Then back homeeee...

So the class today was so small, reason being many didn't turn up as they didn't like the faci last week. But they didn't know there was a change of faci. So after meeting 2, some left too, which made the class even smaller. Tsk, my class is so terrible right. Presentation and all went alright (: After school, headed straight back home. Rested for awhile & now I'm ready to go meet baby! Woohooo, finally meeting him after 2 weeks! I'm gonna stay over at his place! Toodles toosies :D

Monday's webcam photos!












Tuesday's webcam photos!














Thursday's webcam photos!












Friday's webcam photos!




If you should fall, remember you almost had it all.

Put down your world
Just for one night

Sunday, May 10, 2009 - 8:26 PM

"Life is like a mountain. Some days are tougher and some days are easier. All we need to do is keep moving and we will make it to our destination."

After church this morning, headed down to some Japanese restaurant nearby my place for lunch with Mommy, Sister & Brother. Sadly, Daddy wasn't there to join us. We ate alot, and seriously, I mean alot. Came home, packed my room a little and am here blogging while watching tvee.

Anyway, Happy Mother's Day To All Hot Mamas out there! O my beautiful mother, many women have done admirable things, but you surpass them all. I love you unconditionally (:

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I know life is vulnerable & uncertain. I know there are no guarantees in life. I know we need our struggles to appreciate any good that comes our way. I know looking in your eyes means so much more then a gentle touch. I know I'm not perfect. I know I'm addictive. I know society has contradictions. I know there are hypocritical people out there. I know karma get the best of us. I know the smooth taste of Jack Daniels soothes my temper. I know rainy days are gloomy yet electrifies intimacy. I know anything's possible once you put your mind to it. I know it's best to ignore ignorance. I know I am happy, content & satisfied with my life. I know I am blessed with a beautiful love. I know some may dislike me. I know majority love me. I know I don't care. I know unfortunate people are more grateful for what they have. I know money doesn't make a man. I know a better body doesn't make a woman. I know I am never threatened by anyone else. I know there's something about your love that makes me weak. I know I am beautiful, naturally. I know being myself reflects so much more. I know I am the epitome of independence, strength, survival & control. I know music calms my nerves yet me makes yearn for love. I know he simple adores kissing these lips. I know who I am. I know the mind holds extreme power. I know money is the root of all evil. I know I may be difficult at times. I know I attract negativity. I know I will continue to protrude positivity. I know, that you know, that I know, that you are aware... that I know. Trust me, I am knowing & I am informed. & knowing is beautiful.

Knowing is beautiful and doing is wise because actions speak louder than words. By our actions lies truth and nothing's more beautiful than being true to yourself and others. Knowing is beautiful & what's even more beautiful is the woman who knows or at least realises that she doesn't have to try to be beautiful. She is beautiful all on her own, with no effort.

You know who you are. You know what you represent. You know what your life entails. You are untouchable. & just by knowing... you become invincibly beautiful (:

I want to go do my mainicure now. There's school tmrw. My daily routine which will continue for years, school home school home, out, home, school. Ahhh :\ Totally wears me out. But I know in this day & age, I need a good qualification, thus I gotta just bear with it. Unless I become a rich taitai \(^.^)/ Then that would be a whole different story, heh. Goodnight, xoxo.



Cause you're only almost here..

Like a purposeful, strong, silent river
With hidden depths & uncharted whirlpools

Saturday, May 09, 2009 - 10:52 PM

"Don't judge people who don't look the same as you do, bcos you never know. One day it might all be taken away."

Monday, reached school rather early. Had to take our temperatures 2 times a day. Went for SOH talk therefore didn't have time for lunch as I had to rush for my ppt too. Whole day was rather sleepy but my friends managed to always make me laugh, even during my ppt presentation, oh gosh! :D Slacked in class after school, then went for lunch with Cheryl & Danial. After which we went for dance practice. We didn't participate cos like we came late so didn't want to interrupt. In the evening, Daddy came to picked me up and went for dinner along with Brother.

Tuesday, I swear I hate hate hate hate taking the bus in the morning! With the bus being filled to the max with everyone, and feeling their bodies touching you, is just disgusting, I hate it. I pray for the day, SBS will seriously do something about it, stupid company earn so much money yet they aint doing anything. On a lighter note, I received compliments again, this time from Danial's friend. Wheee~~ Communication skills today was alright, was kinda slack. Lunch with Danial & Angela, was good. I love Angela la, she's damn funny, I can laugh non stop with her arnd :D After school, met up with Sister and went back home.

Until now, I still am dreading school. I only have less than 8 hours of sleep each day, worse scenario will be 6 hours. Comparing to my holidays, where I can sleep all I want, & I need like 10hours of sleep to be energised for the whole day. Yesxzxx, I'm weird (but my boyfriend still loves me). So like yea, kinda sucky right now. I seriously need to adjust and adapt to how things are right now. To make things even worse, my grades hasn't been very good so far. I've got my first C, from Science. Dammit, I think Science will forever remain as my most hatred subject! Nevertheless, few As, and the rest all Bs, aint very good. I need to work really hard! Must must must ):

Wednesday, wore my new dress, carried my new bag, happy! However, the rainy weather in the morning didn't dampen my mood. Talked to Gerald on the phone on the way to school, it was good, very good. Makes me happy, that I can go wheee~~ forever. Hahaha! Today was damn slack, new faci and I didn't do much work. Went opposite school for lunch with, Cheryl, Melvin, Danial, Zak, Clarice, Nelson, Antron, Angela, Ardly & Charles. As usual, we were all having mass convo in class, it was damn hilarious. I didn't pay much attention thus I failed my quiz, urgh. So anyway, after school, headed down to JP to spend time with Sister & buy pressie for Mommy. Daddy & Jack came to meet us later on. Bumped into Vic & Acit, that lovely couple. & also Debra, shocking somehow [: Went into this shop, this lady complimenting Jilly & me ^^v

Thursday, dread going to school cos its Science. Was rather upsetting cos my faci told me that I have great potential but am not performing up to my abilities ): So yeaaaaa, very very sad. Presentation was also screwed up, I talked half way, and I was shaking and stammering. Didn't know why I was like that, I wanna change team!! Gosh. Anyway, my classmates are funny pple, I love them, haha! After school, went to collect something then back home.

Yesterday, had a different faci and she was indeed good. Was so slack in class somehow. Nothing much happened. After class, few of us stayed behind and suddenly we ended up talking about ahlians & that Antron said I'm an "angmoh ahlian". Walau, so retarded I tell you. Then, went for some Marketing IG talk with Angela, Danial, Antron, Sherena, Malcom and Zack. Had some refreshments then headed home. So anyway, I received compliments from a few people again today, which makes me go wheeee... Self esteem goes up up up up! Hahahaha! (inserts all the happy smiley faces). Mommy gave Brother 2 tickets for Jack Daniel's party at hardrock cafe. I insisted that she must give me next year when I turn 18. Woohooo..

Went out with Girlfriend today. Waited for her damn long as usual. Before that, met up with Wolfgang & his friends for awhile. Bought baby's pressie and shopped around. I spent a bomb today, sadddd. I need money to come in to my pocket soon! I just can't take my eyes of Charles&Keith's footwear and bags. They are all so pretty. I can't stand getting my eyes fixed on such stuff, makes me wanna own them. Yet again, money doesn't drop from the sky, sadly. I'm super tired now.. & because I'm pretty, I'm gonna stop here, haha! -Flings hair.

I miss Gerald & I can't wait to see him once again! We didn't meet this week. I've got to admit that we're such a perfect wonderful couple. Tsk & I bet all of you out there thinks that way too. I know. Haha heh!

Joy: I believed when you told me wishes do come true (:
Gerald: And I believed in turn when you told me you love me.

Is my Marie cat nice? [:


Camwhore peektures in school!
































Overdue pictures on Thomas' birthday!






Vulnerability in love is but inevitable.

I wish I could tell you that
You are the beginning to my happily ever after

Sunday, May 03, 2009 - 8:47 PM

"I can't sleep cos you're running circles in my mind."

Nothing much happened today, only went to church for mass in the evening, all by myself.
In love, we all take risks. We all fall down
But you should never be scared to go that extra mile
A little further, a little crazier
Because in the end
The sweetest love is the one that made you lose control

Sitting up here alone in my really cozy room got me thinking so much. As we laid in the arms of each other that very day when I was over at your place, I looked you in the eye. Tears rolled down my cheeks. I wanted to tell you how much I regretted to have done things in the past that hurt you. I am so sorry. It was only when things all just came crashing down, only did I realised how much you mean to me. I love you, Gerald. I've love you now. & I'd love you always. I'm willing to do anything for you boyfriend (: & yeah nothing can describe how I'm feeling now. I'm really happy. I'm happy for everything that is going on right now. Oh God make it stay this way forever.

Take my hand, & I'll show you where this love could take us. So put your faith in me, trust me with all your heart. Because I can promise you that I'd never let you down. I'd make promises because I do know what I want, & it's you & I know I can live up to it. Someone I'm willing to make sacrifices for. I'm yours, & I'd always be here. I miss you much already, your company yesterday and the day before was simply priceless! Stay with me, cause I can't be without you. Hold me close, cause I've built my world around you. Just stay with me, cause I don't know what it feels likes without you, xoxo.

School again tmrw, the one day holiday doesn't make any much difference. Start of the week, being so stress in school and all, oh boy. But I always can't wait for the weekends, where I can see my sweet cuppycake (: Alrighty, watching tveee now, show's getting more interesting. Toodles tootsies ^^v





























You live, You love, You grow, You fly.

Marriage is the only war
Where you get to sleep with the enemy

Saturday, May 02, 2009 - 11:59 PM

"It's no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then."

Yesterday, went over to Grandmother's hse for Aunt Christine's birthday plus Mother's Day. I was so sleepy the whole day, plus the ridiculous weather just made things worse. After everything, went down to Katong, some pub called 57 Chevy, to meet my lovelies. It was good to see them.. Hang arnd for awhile then cabbed down to Bojangles with Zhen & Ruiming for some drinks. Baby came to meet me there too! Arnd 1am+, went down to his place. Guess what! Bacardi baby, yeaaaahhh... We drank quite a bit more. Hahahehehoho :D Stayed over, snuggling in bed was just so good. Your warm embrace brings tears to my eyes, not tears of sadness, but tears of feeling so loved. I'm still very grateful that all's well now & that we are really happy together. I guess that's all that matters right.

Slept only at like 7am I think then had to go down to Turf City, baby's rugby thingy. Was so so tired I tell you. He didn't played though, & I hope his back will recover soon. After everything, went back to his place and rested for awhile. At night, went for dinner nearby and cabbed back home. My eyes are about to close anything, really sleepy. Goodnight!

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Before you sleep, who is the person you would say goodnight to?
When you are in front of the computer for long, who is the person you keep on thinking about?
When you are all relax & listening to the finest music, who is the person you are thinking about?
When you are holding your boyfriend or girlfriend's hand, do you ever think of somebody else?
......If so that's your true love



















































I'd run a million miles just to hear you say my name.

In a world that's losing hope
You're my only hope

SEALED WITH TENDER LOVING KISSES
I'm just another writer still trapped within my truth