The Rhapsody Of Love.

joy

2009-09-07T15:13:00.003+08:00

Hello Wello Jellos!

In case anyone might be wondering why haven't I been blogging.
Truth be told, I've moved. Well, I didn't have the heart to delete this site of mine, so I shall just leave it stagnant here.

I love my new blog right now. Go check it out @

PONYDUSTZ.ONSUGAR.COM

Sometimes you just have to put down certain things in life to be able to move on. Well, I'm slowly trying to put down my past, let it all flow out of me, & just embrace of what's to come next.

This will be my last entry here on princess-joyy.blogspot.com.

I love you all babies! (: xoxo, Joy Molina.

joy

2009-08-30T09:26:00.003+08:00

"Without you, I'll crumble."

Friday, went to school again to get my lappy fixed. Some unknown person I didn't know helped me then Patrick, insist on helping me with my lappy, he's really nice. Thumbs up to him! (: Spent a few hours there I think, then cabbed down to Gerald's place. We had dinner at Thomson area, & I stayed over.

Friday night which is Saturday early morning, I dreamt about death & everything felt so real, I woke up, the first thing I remembered was turning left & right, finding you. You were not there. This sparked the emotions in me. I called you, you were out of hse. I needed you. I wanted to hug you. You came home, & crashed to bed immediately. My heart ached, I held back my tears. I wished you knew how I felt..

Most of the time when I turn in, you would always leave my side after a few minutes, just why can't you stay? It makes me feel as though a poker chip. I stay over just to feel your arms around me everytime I fall asleep but every night I'm over at your place, I fall asleep all by myself. I shouldn't have come huh, I should have just stayed home & sleep on my own comfy bed. Perhaps I complain too much. Perhaps I desire too much. I should just live with it.

Anyway, he woke up late, our initially plans were all canceled. Is it upsetting? Yes. Why? Because you & I totally have different sleeping timings. *Am not gonna carry on complaining. Must stop must stop ): Moving on... We went to town to get his hair cut as his attachment is starting tmrw! Byebye curly wurly hair of yours. So less time spent with boyfriend I guess. Dinner at TCC plus my favourite Java Chip from Starbucks. At midnight, tried staying awake to watch the Man U versus Arsenal's match. I managed to only watch up to Arsenal scoring 1 goal, then I had to crash to bed. Again, the bed had so much space as usual. Sigh.. Okay, I won't carry on whining like a bitch.

It's currently raining.. I'm waiting for Dad to come pick me up. I'm gonna leave Gerald's side with a sad side of me ): I'm so gonna miss my boy. I'm still contemplating if I should work, all my friends have started & quit their first day of work, will I be like them too? I'm not sure. Gaahh.. I'm supposed to be one of the ambassador for the F1 Photo Exhibition today, but I told them I couldn't make it, felt so bad if they I short of one person. Anyway, the week has pass by so fast in the blink of an eye. I heard the iphone has arrived, I'm gonna drag my Mommy out of the house to get it and along with other stuff I wanna buy. I hope she's free.. :D

On a side note, I talked to yw not long ago. We managed to actually just say whatever we want, which was pretty good. It's so funny how we could actually be on good terms now. But I guess you know sometimes your friends rather choose a guy over you, what to do. Tsk tsk.. One day, we will just laugh at the outcome & consequences of your relationship. Hahaha! Am I right yw? Well, you think you have been through much with him, I tell you one day you'll know, one day you'll see, one day you'll find out with your own self realisation. Even so, regret. Who knows? I don't know. I'm just waiting to see. Goodluck since you think he's so worth it in your eyes (: Word of advice: A leopard will never ever change its spots.

If you're the bird that flies away from me, I'd be the tree you can come home to. Anytime.

Do you have a plaster?
Because I scraped my knee falling for you

joy

2009-08-27T14:23:00.004+08:00

"I love you for who you are."

Monday, woke up a little late so didn't study much. Headed down to school, felt good (: Math UT3 was alright, initially it was damn easy but the later part was quite tough. After that, headed straight back home. Bumped into Kyser in the bus, it was great seeing him, now that he's doing fine. Came home, revised for Comms & as usual set aside time to talk to my baby!

Tuesday, was glad it was the last paper. Finally I'm done with Semester 1, cheerios Joy! Everything went good, went home with Candice. Had a really nice chat with her [: Well, she managed to follow me down for the interview, thanks dear! After that, headed back home & my lappy gave me problems. The next day, I had to head all the way down to school to get it fixed.

Coincidentally, Sister was in school, so met up with her for awhile. I love having small talks with her, it's when I get to know how she is & all.. We shared Western's chicken cutlet together, & I had my green apple snow with mixed fruit jelly while she had her green tea bubble tea with mixed fruit jelly. Heh! ^^ Soon after, cabbed down to Gerald's hse, I was so happy to see him! :D I initially planned to go home but in the end, I overslept till past midnight so decided to just stay over. My baby was so sick yesterday, I woke up to have checks on him, I was so worried. If I could, I would rather take all the pain away from you. Now he has gone to school for exams, I'm just waiting for him to come back home! I love you sweetheart. As the days go by, I would, want & am willing to stay beside you to take care of you.. I love you so much Gerald. All I want right now is to hug you & just lie beside you, look into your eyes. Because it's been so long since we just enjoyed one another's presence without doing anything. Because doing nothing is = our everything. Heehee. I love you. & I'll love you through it all..

Gerald is a damn good sweet talker..
Gerald: "You know I said I painted the sky blue for you? But you see the rainbow that appears randomly. The colours were painted in such a way that it reflected what you brought into my life; which in a nutshell means you brought colours into my life (:"

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Sometimes I always wonder, why do we read someone else's blog. Or in fact "stalk" them everyday whenever we can. Because they lead an extravagant life? They are the so-called "pretty/hunky" person? Or we just have to catch up with their life, knowing the most latest and juicy news? Well, I don't know, but you name them all. I'm sick and tired of even going through some friend's blog for example, thinking about it, it doesn't even benefit my life in any way. My life right now, I would say is much more amazing than yours, period. The bottom line, everyone has their own life, you mould your life.

The world is getting faker each days, girls or whoever trying to be someone they're not. Trying to get hold of attention. Take for example, The New Paper face & the F1 Grid Girls! Haha. Most people would agree that whoever who joins are all 'cui' a.k.a ugly girls. It just happens, maybe they just wanna gain recognition. But boys, would of cos think that they are awesome, having the biggest boobs, sexiest legs, wearing skimply, etc.. Then again, if you stop & think, people should love you for who you really are. At the end of the day, we are are humans, we die.

Would you love me in 5years time, 10, 20...? Oh boy, tell me...

When I thought our love was everything
I'm surrendering my all to you

joy

2009-08-23T23:19:00.004+08:00

"You are just simply amazing."

Yesterday, headed down to school to mug with Danial & Gayathri. Well, it was good, everything went well. Both of them left & I was alone after 6pm+. Decided to head back home & the bus took forever to come, so I tried waiting for a cab, but there was none in sight. Took the bus when it finally came but alighted & took the cab after. Gerald was waiting for me at my place, finally got to see him after 2 weeks. It's worth the wait, right hon? (: I was so excited to see him. You give me butterflies in my stomach whenever I see you still, you make me one happy girl, I swear no guy have ever done this much for me. My past relationship boys were just useless shitbags. I think whoever they are dating now, are "mhmmm, you can feel in this space (haha!)" & they took my leftovers which I think I don't need anymore. Hahaha! Have fun with it manxz. So back to my boy, he stayed over, his company was simply priceless.

As usual, I ended up going to bed earlier than him. He slept in while I headed to church this morning with Daddy & Brother. Went for lunch then back home. Studied till evening & went for dinner at the usual place- Red House at East Coast Park. Awesome food = Fatty bombom Joy. Who to blame? Gerald Lee Wei-en? Yes, of course him. If not who? Hahaha! :D Anyway, it's past 11pm, I'm tired from revising. I miss my baby.. 2 more UTs to go, goodluck to me!

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How far would you go for the one you love?

It takes a hell lot to even die for someone, but someone you truly love, it's without a doubt.. Also, about Greed. Okie, I can go on & on about this topic. I guess it's better to do some own reflections. So as to see, Sunday come & go that fast. It's already night. & it's not about chasing & keeping yourself on track to catch up with everyone every day. Trying to stay online, keeping in contact with the rest of the world, checking up on their status, wondering what they are doing, then your cell rings & the list goes on.. Tsk.. Don't you find yourself trying to or doing that every day. Cause I do sometimes. That sometimes, I find I'm losing who I am.. One minute you're alive, the other you'd dead. Just looking at the recent news. It's kinda sad. Just because we're trying to pace ourselves with not only the world but cyber world. & anticipating is not something most of us would not do nowadays. We simply rush through our lives..

Sometimes it's just good to disconnect yourself from the world whenever you can. To stop & smell the roses, to be grateful for all you have - your career, an education, a shelter, a family, a lover, food on the table, a healthy body etc... & appreciate whatever comes your way tmrw. People should really learnt that. Life is a blessing, it is a journey, not a destination.

Having you in my arms, Gerald, is a blessing. I love you, thanks for everything from the beginning up till now. Xoxo, goodnight! (:

Pull myself together, it'll be alright.

I don't mind living in a man's world
As long as I can be a woman in it

joy

2009-08-21T19:31:00.003+08:00

"You are really my world, it revolves around you."

Monday, class was alright. Math was kinda nerve-wrecking at the end, that my team mates got me so pissed off I flared up at them, felt bad in the end :\ So anyway, after school stayed back with a few of them to study. Studied till 7pm plus and I couldn't take it anymore. Bused home with Danial and it was the most hilarious ride ever. There was this Indian guy sitting in front of us in the bus, then we spotted an insect on his hair so we presumed the insect landed there. Suddenly, we saw another one, & both of us got damn hyped up. Haha! We were laughing our asses off and talking rubbish. In the end, we moved to the back seats :D Danial, you are so mean! You videod me one time when I dozed off in the bus, you're a meanie beanie! Humphhh..

Tuesday, very little pple came to class. During the day, many left too which resulted to less than 20 of us left in the class. But everything still went alright. Thomas gave me a Subway cookie, it isn't that bad to be class reps after all. Haha! Ended pretty early so headed to the library with Danial. Studied & studied till 7pm+ till Brother came to pick me up & back home!

Wednesday, was kinda shocked to see my classmates alrdy in class when I came cos usually I'm the first few earliest. So anyway, I woke up at 6am+ just to revise & Enterprise Skills UT3 went alright, just that I made alot of careless mistakes as usual. I need to correct my habits like reading the question thoroughly & all, I also have a habit of seeing something as another. Gaah :\ After school, stayed back in school to revise for Science. It was a major killer, it was killing my brain cells, was really really sleepy, thanks to my period for coming at the right time -.- Urgh. Brother came to fetch me home arnd 7pm+, then home sweet home. Tried to revise but I had an emotional breakdown. Sigh..

Yesterday, Science went alright, although it was quite tough. Some unexpected stuff happened, like Antron not turning up for his UT3, because apparently someone jumped off the tracks at AMK station, it was quite freaky knowing it was the first day of 7th month. & Cheryl accidentally hit her laptop during UT and the comp restarted, thank God she could retrieve it and continue doing it. So after UT, went for lunch with Danial & Zackir and went to study. Well, I couldn't concentrate much due to the sleepiness and all, but I still managed to pull through. Met up with Sister for awhile too. Sometimes it feel as though we're drifting apart, we don't meet everyday, as always, I've missed you Sis ):

3 UTs down so far. Cognitive UT had to write alot today & I didn't have much time to check. Roarrr! Anyhoo, I'm in the library since 2pm+, revising for Math. Danial is here with me but he's watching youtube -.- I feel so bad for making him stay with me now. He doesn't study! Grrr.. Anyway, was supposed to meet Gerald today, in the end, we aren't meeting. Sorry darling. Well, sometimes you could only make one choice, you gotta sacrifice the other, so I guess tests comes first for now. I hope you understand. After that, you're back to my first priority when it's over, okay baby? I love you! Okay, I can't take it anymore.. I need some pampering! Shopping, massage, facial, spa pleaseeee? Purrr. Home sweet home for now. (Only if I have my driving license now) Toodles~

When lips are waiting to be kissed, longing to be kissed..

Yesterday still surrounds you
With a warm and precious memory

joy

2009-08-16T14:08:00.003+08:00

"You are my salvation to everything."

Hiieee~~
Yesterday, stayed home the whole day after attending Mass in the afternoon. Revised, slept, revised. Boy, I felt like the useless thing on earth. I have no freaking idea how nerds & all those smart people get such good grades? By mugging like a dog? Gosh..

I'm back home from church. The weather is killing me. Brother borrowed some horror DVD & I have to watch it with him. So I'll probably watch & study.. Blogger is being a bitch as I cannot upload any pictures and the format & all seemed so wrong. Why why why.. Anyhoo, I'm eating some wheatgrass pearl herbal jelly my mom insist I eat, its so so bitter! Okay this is random. I miss my boyfriend. I wish I could see him right now. Urgh. Nevermind, absence makes the heart grow fonder. I love you tofu (: Hahaha!

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I believe in you, believe in me, I believe in all the things that you've said to be. I believe in us, I believe in trust. I believe in everything, that you said would last.

Today is a very special day for me. It has been half a year I've spent with that special man, & I’ve not regret any bit of it. The one who have never fail to color my days with his love. The man who brought me out of misery & brought me to brighter days when I’m down. The one I shared my moments with. & that man is my one and only Gerald Lee..

HAPPY 6TH MONTH ANNIVERSARY SWEETHEART.
I've got the best thing in the world. Cause I got you in my heart in this screwed little world. Let's hold hands together because we can share forever. I never thought I'd use the word 'Forever' on someone else again, but I did it anyway. Maybe someday the sky will be coloured with our love...

Before I met you, I spent a lot of time meeting all kinds of people. I had a lot of fun, tears & learned a lot. Though each person I met had great characteristics. Something was missing.. No one person had all the qualities that I had hoped a person could have. Someone whose every action & thought I could respect. Someone who was very intelligent yet could also be fun-loving. Someone who was sensitive, yet virile. Exciting & sensuous. Someone who knew what they wanted out of life. A beautiful person inside & out. I could not find a person like this until I met you..

When I met you. I wasn't planning on falling in love. I wasn't planning on feeling so attracted to someone. But you awakened feelings inside of me that I'd forgotten existed. I fell in love with you at first sight anyway, when we met just at the fitness corner. When I met you, I didn't realize how much our love would grow. That the attraction that first brought us together would reach beyond passion, to the comfort of knowing I have a very special someone. I had no idea where our relationship would lead us & how beautiful you would make my world. But now I know without a doubt. The luckiest day of my life was the day I met you sweetheart. & every day I still want us to be together. Everyday I pray for the best of us... I love you darling, my one & only you, xoxo.

It's never enough to say, I love you.

Is love a game?
A win or a lose?

joy

2009-08-15T09:10:00.004+08:00

"You just keep me blown away by you."

Tuesday, finally went home after crashing over at Gerald's place. Skipped school too. I was sad I had to part with him, I hate that feeling, always. But on a lighter note, I've got some clothes & underwears from Topshop (:

Wednesday, I decided to go to school cos it's my favourite day. Besides, Nelson brought his DSLR to school. It was awesome, camwhored a little! Snapping photos with it just gives a good satisfaction, haha! After class ended, faci gave us some tibits. Gosh, I'm gonna miss her because she's one of the best & lenient faci I've come across. With only As & Bs for the whole of 15 weeks!! After school, went up to the lawn to take a few more photos then back home.. Was supposed to revise abit but ended up not doing a single work at all. Tsk tsk..

Thursday, didn't attend class but went to meet Danial in school to study. Coincidentally, I saw Justin there, he skipped class too. Studied quite abit I'll say.. Nelson came to join us after awhile. Left school & headed back home at 4pm. Initially wanted to meet Gerald but we didn't meet in the end, I was kinda sad. Went over to Grammy's place & stayed over. Sadly, Grandma was in Penang if not I could have seen her.

Yesterday, last Science module & I'm never gonna touch Science again. Thank God.. I really dislike Science. Hahaha! So oh well, everything went good. After school, my friends & I went to visit Su as she isn't feeling that good recently. I hope she'll be alright in time to come! After that, I went back home. Studied a bit & went to bed.. Had a short talk with Gerald on the phone, it was so hilarious. I wish I could take Stefen's place instead so I'll be able to meet him every day. But I guess that's just impossible :\ Reality Joy, reality..

"Men always want to be a woman’s first love. Women have a more subtle instinct: What they like is to be a man's last romance."
-Oscar Wilde

Gerald's impromptu sweetness:-
Things I love about Joy:
1) Cute
2) Sexy
3) Awesome character
4) Interesting
5) Funny
6) The X-factor that attracts me every single time I see her
Hahahahahaha. Tell me my Baby's so adorable & sweet. He's indeed one sweet talker but he amuses me and I'm very certain of his feelings for me. I love you baby!

I am up! But not yet rising. I can't sleep anymore, kept tossing & turning in bed.. I woke up seeing one message from Gerald, it was so funny, it says: "Omg baby, I got a knot in my hair." I immediately burst out laughing. How cuteee.. That wavy hair boy, time for a hair cut! But but.. You look cute with long hair instead ): So anyway, played some instrumentals as I pull back the curtains & tried to breathe in some fresh air. My all time favorite instrumental - Kiss the rain. Yeah, it holds so much meaning just hearing these symphonies. Then I thought, I had only this in mind... They say true love will last till the end of time. But then even the most boundless love can end. So then again, tell me what's real?

This weekend would soon be long gone, appreciate the goner, embrace the new week silly Joyyiee.. This weekend would probably be spent without Gerald, instead my revision will take over him. How great, uh. Nevermind, just a few more weeks to be able to see you! & tmrw's our 6th month, half a year babehh! Lurrvee youuu.

Please stay, forever..

Why does this love
Always has to feel like a battlefield?

joy

2009-08-10T12:40:00.006+08:00

"You have made me so mesmerized with you, that I want to stay with you forever."

Friday, everything in school went alright. After school, finally met up with Girlfriend. I weren't supposed to shop but in the end, I just splurge. I've been spending way too overboard. But whenever I realize that fact, it doesn't change. Hmm.. So that means, no stopping! (: So now who wants to fund my indulgence? Heh heh pleaseeee, love you all my life... Not. So after, my legs and hands were aching really bad. Cabbed down to Gerald's hse to see him & I stayed over. I love the way he will always tuck me into bed, kisses me and telling me he loves me. It's such bliss.

On a side note, some incident just made me really happy & relieved. Because of it, it also showed me how much Gerald has been there for me through all odds. I'm so thankful. He just never gives up on me, unlike friends who does. You make love ignite like it's a new miracle everyday & you make me gaze at you at all the moments you never noticed, just because I'm wondering what I possibly ever did right to deserve love like this coming from you. You mix laughter into my eyes & win smiles from my lips. You garner whispers from my heart & stubborn frowns at the most unexpected moments I love you. I love you still, & I'll love you through it all. I'll love you through this lifetime.

Saturday, lunch at Thai Express, after which I cabbed back home. In the afternoon, headed down to OLPS for some fund raising for Divine Mercy church and also for evening mass. Dinner was at East Coast Park with family, food was just good to the maxxx.

Yesterday, went over to Gerald's place. I took the MRT after so long, it feels really weird. Well, I just wanted to save some moolahs as Friday I spent like nobody's business alrdy. I tried studying abit, but as you can forsee I'm being distracted here & there by him. In the night, we were both catching the NDP on the tv. This year sadly, I didn't get tickets so I couldn't go. I've been going for the NDP almost every year, it's my favourite, I like it. I take much pride in our country (: Happy 44th Birthday Singapore! Heehee. Anyway, dinner was prepared by Gerald's Mommy. I tell you, the food was just scrumptious. –envy me please. Hahahaha! We caught a glimpse of the fireworks from his place too, perfect. Rested for awhile then we headed down to Holland V to meet Wolfgang & Vic. After which, we came back home and we called it a night.

Baby's soundly asleep now. I hope I could do some revision today. Later~

edited \ 11:59pm
Had steamboat with Gerald just now somewhere near Raffles hotel, good food. Thinking about it, I realised the months I've been with him, we've always been indulging on good food, that's why I claimed that he makes me fat! Gaaah, nevertheless, everything with him have been awesome, I love it. I'm currently studying on his bed right now while he's studying at his table. He's being so distracted by eating, having his Foot Manager game on, fiddling with his iphone and Ipod video. It seriously makes me laugh. I feel kinda sleepy, but I'm just trying to hang on. The song "Love Will Lead You Back" by Taylor Dayne is playing on my iTunes now. Nice song. & yes, I'm downloading Maplestory again. After years of not playing. I'm feeling eggcited!! Okay, back to some revision now! Mhmm, the pandan cake is spongy. Heee :D

What would you do if I got taken away?

As long as you love me
I'll be loving you a long time

joy

2009-08-06T19:06:00.003+08:00

"I am standing by you all the way. I will back up up no matter what happens."

Monday, didn't want to go school but Nelson asked me to go so I went. In the end, he didn't turn up! So anyway, my ezlink card had no money so I had free bus trip to Khatib station. From there, I topped up my card and took the mrt to school, which made me reach school pretty early. Gaahh.. Anyway, Cognitive was damn slack as usual. Ended early and headed straight home.

Tuesday, dreaded class so much as it was Comms module, dislike my faci that was the reason why. Super moody & all, furthermore, my team mates don't contribute to the ppt except for one or 2, so I totally couldn't take it I shouted at them. I think I need anger management classes :\ Webcammed with Gerald, which made me happy once again. He was especially sweet-tongued.

Yesterday, wasn't paying much attention during class. Webcammed with Gerald, he was damn cute. He fell asleep and I swear he was even cuter. Ahhh, hahahahaha!! We were supposed to go for a talk but because it was first come first serve basis, we didn't have seats. There was a long queue I swear, later everyone starting pushing and all. Grrr.. Headed down to Causeway with my friends & we had an early dinner there (: From there, I decided to take a new bus with Catherine I never took before as I wanted to try out. Came home, oovoo-ed with Baby. It was damn good, being able to see him and talking to him is such bliss. I love you honey!

Daddy came to fetch me to school this morning. Guess what! He surprised me with mac breakfast plus some cash too! :D Hehe. Anyway, the whole class didn't turn up in red/white, such a disappointment. Tsk, at least be enthu about it manxzx. So yeah, in the morning we had the pledge moment, where every class was projected with the live video of outside where pple were reciting within RP. Science was kinda different, we didn't have to do powerpoint instead it was Q&A so it was quite slack. After school, headed straight back home & the bloody bus was again so hot! Urgh. I'm home! Feeling dead, not that tired, just dead. My nails are fugly ugly, I need a manicure! Blogger is weird when I'm home, but alright anywhere outside home. Tell me why? Why why why. So Daddy is leaving for Japan tonight, which means no one to fetch me home next week if I need to, roar. Tmrw's Friday. TGIF. I'm moodless, I have no idea what I'm typing anymore.. Off to the showers!

To that particular good friend whom I once treasured- Cos one day girl, your true friends will even turn their backs on you because the choices you made in life will be a mistake to you in the future. Go ahead, just go ahead & follow those losers. One day, you'll know... We meant well for you. But you chose to ignore our intentions. Run free, do whatever you like now. I won't say I'm disappointed in you, cos perhaps I'm just plain naive to even have trusted you. Am I hurt? You tell me. People come and go, true friends stay, that I gotta accept. Just know that some mistakes made can never be erased. You make that choice girl.

What if making that someone happy means sacrificing your own?

When the final day comes
I know I'd still be happy with you

joy

2009-08-02T20:13:00.003+08:00

"When love is the strongest, less words are needed."

Monday, dragged myself to school. Slept at 1am+ as I was just settling stuff which totally wasted my time. Tried to stay as awake as I can in school. Had a lost of appetite too :\ Well, I was just settling stuff that I wasn't paying attention at all. I'm sure gonna get a lousy grade although I know I could have gotten a grade A again. Urgh, mofos. Headed straight home after school, dozed off in the bus. Danial was so funny, he was afraid I fell off the chair! Haha! When Mommy is not at home, I realised I can't handle stuff. Am I that independent as I said I was? Hmmm...

Tuesday, was kinda late for school cos the bus was too packed I couldn’t hop on. What nonsense. So I took the bus then the mrt. I forgot to bring my thermometer to school and Comms faci was being a bitch, making so much noise about it. Luckily, Marc has the ear one, so he lent me but Comms faci just had to insist I pay him when Marc was cool about it.

Wednesday, as usual wasn’t paying much attention in class. Webcammed with Gerald, was so so damn happy to see him! He is so adorable, especially is curly hair, which makes him even more cute. –pinches your softcheeks. Wanted to bank in money near my place, then in the end the machine had problems. Grrr, make me walk so far!

Thursday, 1 team went off as they couldn’t tolerate Science lesson, how funny. But anyway, my presentation went great! (: After school, had photoshop workshop. Thinking about it, I shldn’t go cos what the person taught I alrdy knew, kinda wasted my time. But on a lighter note, Daddy came to pick me up & what’s better is that he bought me awesome food – fish spaghetti! Hahaha!

Friday, one by one my classmates started to leave class. I perservered through the whole day. After class, headed down to fairfield for some thanksgiving ceremony. I felt so nostalgic when I entered, it brought back so so much memories. Memories which includes friendships & relationships. 5 years in that school not only left me with good memories but some heartaches too. But then again, I've longed left them behind and moved on.. A new school, new environment, new lease of life. After everything ended, headed down to Gerald's place and I stayed over.

Yesterday, Gerald left early in the morning for his tournament, while I was still sleeping enjoying the aircon in his room (: But I head down to see him in the afternoon, yet again he brought back a Gold medal. Congratulations, am so proud of you baby! After that, came home rested and had dinner. Guess where we had dinner? Sushi Tei!! ^^v Hahaha, our favorite! We both ate till we were so bloated. Anyway, stayed over his place again. Wheee..

Lazed at home the whole day, we're such bummers I know. Dinner at Sakae Teppanyaki at Airport Terminal 3, it was good. I'm finally back home right now. The weekends are coming to an end in just a few hours. I've to start revising for my UT3 which is gonna come real soon. Baby sent me to my doorstep and it was really sad seeing him leave. I wish he could stay with me longer, but then again, impossible. I'm anticipating for the weekends to arrive again! Alrighty, I'm off to shower and rest. Lurveeee~

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Recalling my past separation, & so then I try to recollect my memories. & I couldn't. It seems like I've lost that key to the memory in my brain. I don't know. I've read about things like this & a doctor once said that usually due to what that person's been true, those memories are not lost, but they're just subconsciously hidden in the brain, telling nothing to that one self. So I wonder if it's a good thing if I were to remember? After so much hoo-haa that happened regarding you, I'd never be friends with my exes. Over & moved on. Whether you've regretted at all, 2 words for you, fuck you. One thing's for sure is that, friends after lovers? For me now, that's impossible. I can't see myself being just ordinary friends with a person I once shared so much love with, the person I once held hands with, the person I know I could die for...

Now, my broken pieces caused by you were mended by someone who just came along my way. The person was much more than you could ever be. A gentleman, a lover. When I fall down, he picked me up. When I fell ill, he took care of me. When I'm down, he brought a smile to my face. When I'm worried, he assures me. I'm thankful for you, Gerald. Thank you from the first day we knew to up till now, thank you for being by my side, thank you for lending a listening ear and a crying shoulder, thank you for trusting me, thank you for being who you truly are, thank you for footing the bill most of the time, thank you for lending me your time, thank you for being the sweetest boyfriend I could ever had. & I could thank you for a million things if I could list them all here.

I don't wanna be your just-another-girl, cos you mean everything to me. I love you Gerald.

I will love you, in every single breath you take. I will.

Cos in your eyes I'd like to stay
You changed my world with just one kiss

joy

2009-07-26T23:59:00.003+08:00

"The hottest love has the coldest end?"

Friday, Math lesson was alright. Had a change of faci, she was rather lenient and good. After school, headed back home, rested then went down to East Coast Park for dinner. Seafooddddddd~~ With my favorite boy. With the win brushing across my face, all my worries/troubles seemed to disappear. But if I were to snap back to reality, I doubt happiness stays forever. But its fine, I'm contented with everything I have/possess right now. Cabbed back to my place & Gerald stayed over.

Yesterday, we just slacked at home. We're lazy pple as you can see. We just eat, snuggle in bed, laugh, bite each other, etc... We really need to get out of the hse to exercise. But you see, at least he have training every week while I don't. That explains my size now -.- So he left arnd 10pm+ and I started missing him alrdy.

This morning went to church then went for lunch. I forgot where the place was but the portion of the food was just huge, ate till I felt really bloated till night time. Sent Mommy to the airport then my loving Brother sent me to Town. Met up with Nelson, Cheryl, Melvin & Marc. Walked here and there and of cos, spent moolahs (: Ion Orchard is not bad too, all the high end brands. Parted with them & met Gerald. We headed down to Jurong Point & had some Japanese buffet for dinner. The food was alright but my poor tummy is so bloated. As I'm writing this, my eyes are half open. I'm so sleepy. My friends are gonna bug me for photos tmrw, gaahh..

Anyway, as much as I don't wna blog about a certain something, I'll still do so. Maybe just a tiny weeny bit of it.
I'm hurt that my friends turned their back on me. If you all truly know me, you will know what kind of person I'm like. You girl, you don't go hearing stuff from someone and just think that its true. So what if you know it, don't go telling my boyfriend. The past is all in the past, I don't care how you see of me right now. But I can tell you straight in the face, that my past is long gone. Have I changed? That is for you to ponder. I know what I'm like, & no one even you can judge me. Enough of pple trying to sway his thoughts, it's never gonna work. Spoil my image, say what you want, or screw yourself, I don't really care. Okay enough, I shldn't say more, if not dogs will bark, even louder this time round.

Every new situation that I face in life, takes me further away from the negative aspects of my past. Some are painful reminders makes me believe I shouldn't take chances. I shouldn't take risks. But, like an embryo, we must go through changes in order to become whole, healthy & complete. We're going to feel alone, confused or frightened during the process but it's all good. The outcome of it all is well worth the struggle. In reality, we all are growing, developing, evolving. Go out there & be carefree especially when you're trying to achieve your goals. Break the limits. Pass the borders. Color outside of the line. That's how we're suppose to live life. Some mornings you may wake up feeling good, ready to go out & take on the world & "be" a great day. But on other days, we wake up to total darkness that makes the whole world seem depressing. On those days remember the words I stated & just live your life. You only get one so why waste it on anything that leads towards the negative? Don't do as you please because it's your day off. Do as you please everyday. I'm just so glad I've got you, Gerald..

I know one day all these fairytale fantasy's gonna come true. Because you're the one I'm gonna make it happen with..

.
.
.

Gerald Lee,
"You don't love someone because they're perfect. You love them in spite of the fact that they're not. Your imperfections make you perfect baby, to me you are, because that is whats real..."

You & I, in different worlds, set apart by our differences. It's like a tall brick wall that extends towards the sky & each of us on the other side of it. I've been brave, I tried being strong, tried fighting off every bit of negativity in me. Your words were always sugarcoated, but I knew you meant them all right from the bottom of your heart. Those words have got me crazy, those words have made me thought way beyond what I could ever imagine of us few months down the road. Our paths were never supposed to cross, but it intertwined nevertheless. If we start all over again, I would still wish I had met you.

I love you sweetheart! Thanks for making this weekend a splendid one as always. You mean everything to me do you know that? I really hope to see you soon, because I miss you already. Another week ahead to go through! Because everything you've done, I feel so blessed and loved. & everything that I have to go through for you, its worth every bit of my time and effort. Cos at the end of the day, you & I know truly how our hearts feel..
Love, Joy.

Goodnight world. True friends I will keep, the rest shall be ditched.

More than just a heroine.

There's a picture of this boy
That lives inside my mind

joy

2009-07-23T18:46:00.003+08:00

"For you are the best I ever had. The only one I can't live without. You're my air. I breathe you."

Monday, went to school feeling so damn sleepy due to the fact I tried sleeping early but couldn't. Cognitive was kinda slack today which is always so good (: Nelson & the few pple went over to Causeway to get Burger King, so I had BK for lunch, yummy yumyum! After class, headed back straight home with Danial.

Tuesday, had presentation first thing in the morning regarding our proposal. Nelson's team evaluated our proposal, and it was good. Hehe, big thanks to them! Well, sometimes I get super pissed off when my team mates don't do a shit, its not like I'm damn 'chiong' or what, but fucking get the point that when work needs to be done, it has to be done. So just fucking get your asses and focus more! I do mostly all the work, you guys don't even deserve anything. Urgh.. I realised I have been ranting, I just can't stand certain pple! Excluding my team mates, I would say, the both of you. You two have seriously got out of my nerves. Can't believe I stood to your level to bitch about you two. & as I write this, which I know its pointless, is waiting minutes of my precious life away..

Can you imagine, two pple who used to be close to you, sort of suddenly backstabbed you. You can't imagine the amount of hurt I'm feeling right now. I really don't want to bother and let this affect me. My sweetest boyfriend have been the greatest, he has always been right there for me, sharing my pain & burden. You fuckers out there have done a good job by spreading bad things about me, saying how will I end up hurting my boyfi. Well, you know what, you all have done a great job, I totally admire you. But boohoo to you losers, nothing can ever break us apart. Keep trying for better results, I would like to see the outcome (: So back to what I was mentioning earlier on.. You didn't even respect me, what respect should I have of you now? As much as rumours are rumours, I chose to believe some, especially when you get them from pple you trust. Are you then gonna prove me wrong? I don't know to feel sad, disappointed, angry, or emotionless. Last but not least, are they still friends worth keeping? Perhaps I should have listened to my besties from the start, if I did I probably wouldn't end up like this.. Period.

Yesterday, wore formal to school for Enterprise Skills as we had some interview thing for that module. Burberry top, Satin skirt, Nine West heels, Casio watch, YSL bag. I felt pretty (: Hahaha! As usual, lesson was slack. Webcammed with Gerald here and there & it was great seeing his face. After school, went home, rested & headed down to Gerald's place. Dinner at Holland V, had my favorite tomato noodle soup!! His company was just priceless. He had a new laptop and a new bed, that spoilt brad! I envy him, hahaha! His new bed is still as comfy as the old one, hehe. Stayed over for the night..

Here I am back home.. Start of the day was alright, however, later part of the day I got really grumpy and irritated. Science module was not bad today, but I told my faci in the face that I rather not take this module if I could choose. Gaahh.. The bus I was in with Danial when we went back, was like sauna, we both were like dying inside. I can't believe there wasn't much air at all, it was so stuffy & hot, damn sick.. I'm feeling all so tired right now, together with my grumpiness, and all, urgh urgh urgh x10000000000000000.

I'm trying to stay as bubbly as I always am, I don't like things bringing me down. Baby's my sweetest love, he has been through the ups & downs with me, I'm really happy to have you right by my side hon. Your every action, your every word, makes me feel like I do not have any worries at all. I love you baby, for you are mine to keep. Even a few days, months or years from now, I still want you right beside me. Telling me how much you love me and sharing with me everything from the ground to the stars.

Don't tell me this won't last forever.

If I want to run away
Would you run with me?

joy

2009-07-19T18:03:00.004+08:00

"You have kept me mesmerized."

Yesterday, headed down to the National Library at Bugis to do Comms project with my team mates. Glad we managed to complete quite alot. Went back home after everything. Dinner with Mommy & Sister, the feeling was good (: Headed down to Town to meet Michelle & Zhe Qiang. Missed those 2 alot. Hahaha. Anyway, when I was in the train, I felt really sad as this old lady on the wheelchair, she kept looking at my direction and pointed at my legs/shoes. I have no idea why. I looked at her & I felt really sad. Got approached by some advertisement agency too. Also, I was a kind soul today, I paid for some guy whom wanted to go to the toilet. Heh!

Cabbed down to Clarke Quay, went for some drinks then headed down to Liang Court, Social House. Madhu and Kaixin came down, and saw lots of friends there too [: Partied till 4am, then I headed down to Gerald's hse with Michelle.

Well, I just realised alot of things that happened so far to me in my life. Friends can just backstab you right in your face. If you know the principles of a relationship, you wouldn't have done that. If you regarded me as your friend, you know your limits, I'm so disappointed in you, I really am. My impression of you have just change 36odegrees. Also, you feel the most terrible when your true friends suddenly feel that your existence don't really matter and when there's any gatherings, you weren't being called. Are they even called true friends? If there are any misunderstanding, we shld solve it, but in the end, its like I'm the cause of everything. What the fuck. Wow, F.R.I.E.N.D.S. How great. Lastly, after Gerald talked some sense into me, I realised that real friends don't go all touchy over you. They wouldn't have done that to you, they would instead respect you. Gosh, I'm so disappointed in myself & I don't want to say that I regretted having my bunch of friends. Please tell me all our friendship is worth going through for >:( I'm hurt.

To keep my spirit high a little to prevent me from emo-ing, I think yesterday's party was alright. We managed to talk to the owner of Social House, he's a funny guy. However, I would say that Powerhouse still wins in terms are music, atmosphere and space. I also managed to catch a glimpse of Gerald, we spend even the tiny weeny bit of time tgther, I glad we did baby. Ended up sleeping at 7am I think, & woke up 1 hour+ later to cabbed home. Headed down to church then went for Daddy's birthday lunch at ThaiPan, love the food there! I'm feeling so so sleepy right now, I need to catch up on my sleep before the school week starts tmrw, damn. Okiedoks, toodles~

Cause my boyfriend's everything you're not.

I wish that I could give you something more
That I could be yours

joy

2009-07-17T19:27:00.004+08:00

"You are such an important piece of my life's jigsaw puzzle."

Helloooo earthlings!

I need you to be with me,
Dreams can only hold me for so long.
& I will wait my life, I promise to do to right,
For just one moment to be alone with you...
It's just enough for me to fall in love with you.

I'll start of by declaring-
HAPPY 5TH MONTH ANNIVERSARY SWEETHEART. on 16/07/09 (:
I know there are much more awesome times unfolding for us. I'm happy, very happy to have you in my life. When I was at the lowest point in my life, you came & changed things arnd. You made the dark clouds disappear and made a rainbow in my life. You got me tangled with our hearts intertwined baby, & I want to see myself growing older with you each passing day. Cos hon, you hold a special place in my heart. I really marvel at the very fact that each quarrel we go through, brings us up to another level of treasuring each other. I love you sweetheart, I don't want to let you slip through my fingers. I want you & I need you. Thank you for everything up till now. My baby, my sweetheart, my darling, my favorite boy, always!

So yesterday, had Science. Learned about cells again, it was a killer. After school, had Comms UT, was damn happy it was the last UT. Time really flies, UT1 & UT2 has just gone by like that. The major UT3 is gonna come up before you even realise it. Walked to the mrt with my friends as they didn't want to take the bus, I tell you I was really melting in the sun. It was so damn bloody hot, gaaahhh.. Went to Fushionopolis for lunch at The Soup Kitchen with Gerald & Russell. I really love that place (: Then, headed back to Gerald's place. Mich & Marc came by.. Finally get to see that bitch, hahaha, really miss her!! That crazy nonsensical girl. Hee.. Arnd 9pm+, cabbed down to Shaw for Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince with my classmates. I would say it wasn't that good. I finally ate my bandito pockett! I was also falling asleep during the movie, gosh.. Everything ended arnd midnight and I went to crash over at Gerald's place.

I was so sleepy last night, all I could rmb was, Gerald being so noisy saying he can't sleep. I knew I was asking him to just close his eyes and sleep, then I think I fell back to sleep. I felt damn bad :\ Sorry I couldn't stay awake to company you baby.

Cabbed to school this morning. 2 times in a row, taxi drivers just love asking me if I'm Singaporean -.- Yes yes, I am. Anyway, I'm glad I managed to survive in school today. Having less than 5 hours of sleep really kills you. Had a change of faci today, I hope he's nice enough to give me an A or B grade [: Okay, I shall share some of my pleasures, I had Subway for lunch! It was scrumptious, totally love it!

Hmmm... There are just some frustrations on my mind now & I'll gladly speak my mind-
1. Hate copycats
2. Dislike the very fact my ex boyfriend is 'flirting' with my good friend
3. Staying so far away from boyfiee
4. Guess I'm only able to see him the week after
5. Need more moolahs to fund my shopping

On a brighter note, guess what? Hahahahehehehohoho!! Daddy's booking a flight to Bangkok. I can' wait! Shopping shopping, wheee ^^v Oh well, waiting for this semester to end can't come any faster. Okiedoks, I need more rest. Been feeling, so lethargic, later!

I'll be saving all my love for you.

Hold on to the night
Hold on to the memories

joy

2009-07-15T19:06:00.004+08:00

"I rather go through shit with you than good times with someone else."

Monday, Cognitive was quite slack as presentation was damn short, so had time to revise for Enterprise UT. I was clad in a ballerina top and a sweet candy stripey skirt, with my pretty painted nails and colourful bracelets. I know I'm pretty ^^ Hahaha. Came home, studied like mad for Math UT, while my eyes were half closed. It was madness, roarrr. Tvee itself was also another distraction. With it on, I can't concentrate. Missing my Baby was another reason why too, gaah.. Ended up sleeping at 12am ):

Yesterday, was so so sleepy in the morning, yet I had no choice but to survive the whole day. I was falling asleep in class :\ Comms ppt was kinda screwed but I couldn't care less. Had Math UT, which probability killed me half of the time. I can't do probability for nuts. After school, went to the library. Booked Harry Potter movie and waited for Daddy to come pick me up, then we went for dinner & back home..

Enterprise class today was alright, wasn't paying much attention at all, I think I won't have a Grade A or B for this week. Nevermind. So one of my classmates was talking about her boyfriend flirting, well.. I realised we girls tend to be so sensitive even when just a girl (ugly) touches him. But know that, its because of love, that he belongs to only her and its unpleasing to hear such stuff that happened. So anyway, bused home with Danial as usual.. I'm home right now, trying to revise for Comms. Very happy, my last of UT2 tmrw, after which, I can finally have some proper rest.

Life is discovering. The love that we create
Life is a mystery. We need to embrace
People rise together. When they believe in tomorrow
Change the day to forever. This life keeps moving
Open your mind & see. We have everything we need
Dream or reality. Fulfill its destiny

Life isn't always ideal or romantic. It's a series of triumphs & disappointments, & that's okay. The best we can do is open our hearts & learn to appreciate & forgive.

Gerald: -Finds every nook and cranny for my beloved. Leaving no stones unturn, till I find that beautiful girl! Hahaha, I loved you since the day I saw you.

My Baby is the bestest. You captivate me each time I see youuu. -Melts. I think he's probably sleeping right now, after not sleeping the day before, gosh.. I'm feeling hungry. My left arm is aching like mad. I feel weak and useless when my arm aches. I can't move so much at all >:( Pfft. Oh, yes yes, did I mentioned I love my nails. Hehe, yes!! Anyway, I need more moolahs! I want to shop, shopping is never ending! I need someone to fund me, if only there was. Situation seems bad, I'm almost dying.. Haha roarrr! I want moolahs, if only I had a quick & easy job. Hmmm...

Back to revising for Comms' UT, later~

I want to bake cupcakes & think of you.

Put down your world
Just for one night with me

joy

2009-07-12T16:51:00.004+08:00

"Looks are deceiving. Judgements are temporary. Changes are inevitable."

I have been so busy with school this few weeks. Been so busy & even skipped meals. It's a good thing that I can lose weight like this, heh. Friday, Gerald came over to my place in the night. Spent time with my Baby, it was awesome yet again (: I'm so happy to be arnd him. Well, he stayed for the night.

Yesterday, went over to Grandmother's place for reunion. On the way there, saw a rainbow in the sky & being me, I'm always fascinated at the sight of rainbows, they are just so beautiful! So those who were residing in different parts of Australia came back, so I just had to go. Everything was great, seeing those lovely faces of my cousins & relatives. Celebrated grace's 22nd birthday in advance too, as she's going back to Melbourne soon. Tried revising my work there, but it was a failed attempt.

Slept at 2am+ this morning, couldn't go to bed somehow. Went to church this morning and went for lunch at Mad jack, missed the food there [: I'm home, all alone again.. I can breathe much easier when Mom's not nagging and I can do whatever I want, but then again, it's rather lonely. When Brother goes to NS on the 14 of September this year, boy would I not know how I would survive. No more company at home, no more fetching me here & there, etc.. Gaahh, I shan't think about it right now. Anyway, I'm getting the new iphone soon! Yeapppiexzxz, so happy. I've got tons of Bourjois make up and nail polish which Aunt Joan brought back from Paris, hehe! I'm just sucha princess. -envy me! Hahahahaaha.

S.W.A.L.K, I love you Gerald. & I wish upon a star that someday you & I will have our quarrels ceased, where everything will be oh-so-beautiful once again.

.
.
.

Everything you ever said; everything you ever did; everything you ever meant; everything that I'd never forget. Somewhere on my bed, I wake a little different. Somewhere in my life, I see things without this frame. Expectations overthrown because I'd realized what I expect are not as worthwhile as what you give me. Every forest sings a song. One for the heartbroken lovers. & one for the dreamers. & then there's one just for you, because you are special like this. You question every questions that I held in my busy mind, & left me speechless. There are so many whys in this world. You taught me to stop looking for answers because it merely answers one question which leads to another question. There, you gave me a quizzical glance & I knew I am asking myself the biggest question - 'how can I not love you?'

I'd forget where I have been, but I remember where I am. In your light & in your heart that is. You can take my heart for a little trip. You can take my heart very close to yours. You can take my heart for a reverie. I know I know I know I will take your heart. If I take your heart, I will cherish it every day. If I take your heart, I will heal these old wounds. If I take your heart, it's to make it happy. If I take your heart, it's forever close to mine. When you look at me & we're skin to skin, I want you so please come in. My love is growing up to yours. I don't know where this kite is flying to, but I know you made me feel like a girl munching on her tangerine. The wind is blowing in a new hum now..

Another one of your quizzical hum:
Love is a feeling you are feeling when the feeling you are feeling is a feeling that you had never felt before.

Okiedokies, I have 3 UTs next week & I've yet to revise. I shall do it now, plus my manicure, beauty rest and tveee. Toodles~~

Without you, I can't sleep. I'm not gonna ever, ever let you leave.

I became a carpenter so I could build a house
For your heart to live in

joy

2009-07-10T19:24:00.006+08:00

"Happiness is not shortlived if you can make an effort to make yourself happy."

Tuesday, I was clad in clothes from Cotton On. Cropped jacket, tank top, high waisted skirt, sandals, were all from Cotton On. & not forgetting my LV laptop bag (: Heheee. Was waiting for bus in the morning and suddenly this black cat came towards me & cross my lap. I totally freaked out cos I can feel the tiny paws on my thighs, I totally wanted to scream! I dislike cats! The second time, it cross my lap and wanted to sit down, I was so scared, I stood up, the cat jumped to the ground and dropped my ipod. Thank God I did not buy the ipod touch if not I think it'll have scratches & all. Communications was alright, I can't imagine we only have 45mins to go down to HAVEN for lunch or buy back to class. H1N1 really create such a hassle for everyone, sigh. Bumped into Justin there & I was simply disturbing him, hohoho.. While heading back, saw Candice & Lihao. They were really sweet, Lihao came all the way down to RP to see her. Immediately what came to my mind was, Gerald. We are totally at the different ends of Singapore. But still, we managed to find time for each other & I believe abscence makes the heart grow fonder. -winks.

I don't get what's wrong with me. I always declare how happy I always am to everyone or anyone. But when I'm all alone, when silence take over, I'll get many things overloading my mind and I'll stumble across more stuff (in the past) & they get cramped up in my brain. The more "exploding" feeling I'll get in the end. I wish to get rid of them. Well, I could. Yet again, the more I find out, the more depressing life for me will be. I got to stop, I need to, I have to, because generally I know my life is meant to be filled with happiness, not sorrows.

On a lighter note, boyfriend has been great! Every moment spent with him is just like candyworld sprinkled with pink fairydust, pink cotton candy, with stripey candycanes & lollipops, together with sunflowers and roses, with a sweet-scented smell, pink heartshaped balloons tied onto each specially designed cuppycakes and last but not least, his company, is simply... FABULOUS <3 Everytime we part, I know we'll see each other again. & furthermore, the more I miss him, the more I love him. He has captured my heart and I don't wna let him go.

Wednesday, topic was kinda tough for Enterprise Skills so was damn busy trying to crack my brains. Marc came to my class to see me for awhile. After school, had Cognitive UT which was quite okay. Then, met up with him & Jane but couldn't stay long with them as I had to revise. Went to the library to revise for Science UT with Danial & Daddy came to pick me up after that.

Yesterday, Science faci made my friend cry, I do not know what's wrong with her. I dislike her, which make me dislike Science even more! After school, went to the library to revise for UT with Liangfu. Bumped into Justin there, which was such a coincidence. Left the place in the evening, it was kinda late so decided to head over to my Grammy's hse to stay. I stayed there for the night.

After school today, went to Subway with Angela, Nelson & Danial for a bite (: I'm so tired right now. Science UT was alright, I'm stressing over the fact that I don't want to repeat this module cos I dislike Science alot, roarrr! On a lighter note, the weekends have arrived, my days seem packed but I need to find time to revise for my UTs, diexzxz. I miss my Baby so much already.. I've always been looking forward to weekends, because you're my saving grace. But I know this weekend won't be much for us to spend together, I feel sad. But I'd still cherish every minute we've got.

Saturday
1. Grace's 22nd birthday.
2. Go to some pub/restaurant at Raffles with Daddy.
3. Need to find time to revise 3 modules!

Sunday
1. Church.
2. Upload peeektures.
3. Need to find time to revise 3 modules!

My collection of ugly dolls baby bought for me so far ^^v

Counting the steps to the door of your heart.

Tell me whats more than love
You can count on me for life

joy

2009-07-06T17:02:00.004+08:00

"You are already my world."

Friday, quite a number of pple didn't turn up for class cos they were told to buy a thermometer but they didn't want to do so. Hahaha! As usual, I was the only one doing work, it was fucked up I swear. Luckily, Danial was transferred to my team and he helped me up. So basically, the two of us were the only ones cracking our brains and doing the work. It's not that I want to complain about it, but don't you think its unfair. We do the work, you guys spent 2 hours slacking away and you guys also take a reasonable grade. Well, I think we deserve more than you guys. I know we're friends after all, but I'm telling you, a team is a team, we were put tgther to do work tgther, not individually, so if you wish to not bother, I seriously think you don't deserve that grade A, B or C at all. So anyway, it resulted me in not having my lunch. After school, I was starving like mad. Met Justin, headed down to Causeway Point for Pastamania (:

In the evening, Gerald surprised me at my place with a tub of Ben & Jerry's ice cream. It melt my heart, totally. But don't ever think bcos I'm easy to please, you can make me upset kayyy!! He stayed over for the night, it was lovely.

Saturday, watched The Burrowers while having lunch. Gerald left in the afternoon while I got ready to head down to my Grandmother's place. Spent some time there. Aunt Joan & family came back form Paris while Uncle Martin came back from Melbourne. It was nice seeing them. Little Brittany is always so adorable. French & Chinese blood, what can they say? Pretty (: I had to leave early so Brother fetched me to Russell's place for his birthday party. Everything was good. Stayed over Gerald's place after that.

Yesterday, revised my work & slacked at his place till evening where we had Sushi Tei for dinner. I think we're hardcore fans of Sushi Tei, we love dining there :D Anyhooo, time spent with Baby is always awesome. Stayed over for the night again.

Here I am finally back home. This morning I was so sad to leave Gerald's place. As usual, I was sleeping by myself then later he came to join me as he couldn't sleep. & again, he was watching me as I was asleep. I think I look so unglam in my most sleepy state, gosh. But its fine, I watch you as you sleep too, so we're equal. Heh! 10 more days to our 5th month, yayyeee!!! On a random note, I notice my friends denying who their partners are or claiming that particular person is just a friend. Well, to me, it pains me for some reason or another. If I were to know that my boyfriend does the same, I would feel like the most idiotic girlfriend on earth. I mean you chose them in the first place so why deny your relationship later on? It's so sad. Sigh, whatever it is. My boyfriend is Gerald, I'm his girlfriend, I love him, & I know he loves me too. We are a happy couple after all. Wheee..

Alrighty, I gotta go do revision for my upcoming UTs right now. Such a bore, its tiring & exhausting. Hang on Joy!! Ciaos~~

Brittany.

When you see your life in someone else's eyes..

Have you realize how much I love you
& everything I have done?

joy

2009-07-03T08:40:00.002+08:00

"If you're tired, I'll support you on my baby. I'll carry you on my back."

Tuesday night, stayed over at Gerald's place again. I was sleeping half way & suddenly Gerald talked to me so I got woken up. Then I went like, "Huh?" many times cos I couldn't figure out what he was saying. That boy then got fed up with me and turn his back and fell asleep. You didn't know how pissed I was. Next morning, I asked him about it, he said he couldn't rmb. Gosh, I think he's sleep talking.

Wednesday, he went to school so I headed down to Starbucks at Holland V, thank God Huda could accompany me. Did my e-learning there in the end (: Huda went off & I was alone till Wolfgang came. Baby ended school and came down too. Whooo, with awesome pple arnd me, makes me happier each time! Ordered pizza to his place then Brother came to fetch me back home at night.

Yesterday, slept pretty late so woke up feeling so lethargic still. But it was great seeing my friends, everyone was just especially retarded. Hahaha! Anyway, my Science faci was again damn mean to me. She always pick on me, this time she never fails to do so. Urgh. Till Danial had to tell her, "Faci, why you always so fierce to Joy?" Then she went like, "Oh, I fierce meh? Sorry sorry." Whatthefuck, what the fuck man. Okay whatever. Lunch with my classmates at Causeway point was good. Supposedly to have KFC, but was so packed so we went to eat at Pizza Hut. After that, went back home with Danial. & yes, that stupid Marc went to take the knife from Pizza Hut and put it in my bag! He's damn retarded la. I feel sad for Pizza Hut instead, haha!

Some of my unhappiness are..
1) Lost yet another ring from my collection due to carelessness again.
2) Broke my YSL blusher.
3) Room too messy, need tidying up.
4) Decreasing of moolahs from my account.
5) STUDY FOR UTs!!!

Some of my happiness are..
1) 3 ugly dolls from my baby.
2) YSL bag & a pouch
3) Bourjois liquid eyeliner.
4) Spending time with that annoying yet lovable boy- Gerald.
5) I'm in love ^^v Hahahahaha!!

Talking about being in love. Guess what! 13 more days to our 5th month. It's like W-O-A-H. How exciting.. Despite our small disputes, we managed to find our way back to love again, which on the other hand, allows me to know how much he means to me. Words aren't enough to express how much he means to me, but sometimes actions speaks louder, and deep down, we both truly know the answers regarding the matters of the heart (:

Class is starting in awhile. Many pple were stuck outside the main door just bcos there was checking of thermometers and they didn't bring it. Thank God I brought it, hohoho! Okay, weekends have just arrived in a few hours, yay! Till then..

Look at the photo below. How cute right! For Selena, Hazel & I ^^v

I don't need anything, I just want you & time.

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this

joy

2009-06-30T20:11:00.004+08:00

"Thank you for trying so hard."

I've been sleeping pretty late these days, therefore couldn't wake up in time to even do my e-learning. Skipped Cognitive & Comms module for 2 days.

Yesterday night, headed down to Gerald's hse and had dinner with him & the family at Thomson. Also to mention, my Sister talked to me when she was in Indo, I miss her so much. When I'm down or bored, she isn't available to talk to. Now I know how much she means to me. My twiniee, my beloved Sister forever, love you Jillypie!

Today's the last day of June. Damn, time flies huh. I really can't wait for all my UTs to end, holidays to come, Semester 2 to start and the best of all, for me to finish poly and get my Diploma. In the afternoon, met Russ & we went down to Fushionopolis for lunch. The soup spoon is really damn good, I love their clam chowder!! Gerald & Russ went off and I met Liangfu at Starbucks to study. Studied the whole day. Gerald came down with Kenneth in the evening & he surprised me with 3 medium ugly dolls! Omgoshxzxzx, I was happy to the max yet kinda upset that he spent so much :\ But anyway, I'm so so happy, I love the ugly dolls, they're so adorable! Right now, I'm at NP, watching Gerald & the rest having training. Rugby ball somehow amazes me, hehe. I'm those who don't do any sports at all, only run or swim at times whenever I'm free. Gosh, no wonder that explains why I'm putting on weight each day, humph.

My baby boy's ankle is injured yet I'm seeing him having training, it makes me worried :\ Roarrr. Arnd 45 more mins till they end, I'm blogging cos I'm pretty bored. I don't think I'm going home again tonight. I feel bad for my Mommy as I keep staying out, but I hope she understand and know that no matter what I do, I know where my home is, where my heart belongs to and lastly, she'll always be my Mother & I love her. Okiedoks, shall just watch them have training. Ciaos!

edited \ 8:33pm
It's just funny. Okay... Imagine. You talked to that someone through MSN/email/sms/etc, yet when you meet and bumped into that someone, you both pretend that you both are worlds apart and you don't even sometimes say hi. Am I the reason for being there? Okay, it just felt weird. It appears so fake. To me that is. This is random. Boredom screws your mind up (:

If you didn't notice boy, you mean everything.

Somehow I can't forget you
After all that we've been through

joy

2009-06-28T03:18:00.009+08:00

"You're the one that keeps me going."

Hello earthlings. Look at the time right now, its 3:18am. I told my baby boy I'll sleep cos I wanted him to rest, taking in the fact that he didn't sleep the night before at all. I watched Step Up 2 just now cos I couldn't go to bed. I can't believe I'm still awake, its been so long I've stayed up this late.

I don't even know why I actually bother to read someone else' previous entry posts. It doesn't even concern me. I guess I'm just wasting my precious time away. Okay, maybe I simply have no life? Hahaha. Whatever it is anyway.. Well, although the past is the past, you still have that weird feeling lingering on for sure. Sheesh, I shan't think so much and enjoy every moment now. Cos no matter what happens, I believe everything happen for a reason whether its a happy or sad thing. Yada yada, I beat any of you hands down. -Evil laughters

Baby must be sleeping so soundly now. Damn, I wish I was there with him, watching him sleep. Just like how he always like to look at me when I sleep. Gaaah, I love him so much, & I know he feels the same way for me too. -sinks into your soft cheeks

Okay, off to bed now. & because I'm pretty, I'll end it here, haha!
-Flings hair

edited \ 8:32pm
Went to Holy Spirit church in the evening then Brother & I went to Thomson Plaza, had Sakae Sushi for dinner. I realised I've been eating alot of Japanese food lately. Had my all time favorite donuts from Donut Empire too, I love it to the maxxx.. :D I'm feeling sleepy & bored, yet I'm rejoicing for the fact I don't have to wake up early for school tmrw. Also, I haven't talk much to my baby boy today. Gaahhh.. I shall go watch some tveee and rest my tummy. Ciaos!

I want every single ugly doll!! ): There are more than what it is here.

I know the reason why I am alive, & the world is so beautiful tonight.

Here we are in the arms of another
Knowing that hate is wrong & love is right for us tonight

joy

2009-06-27T22:58:00.003+08:00

"You're the only one I think it's worth a try over & over again."

Woke up early this morning, cabbed down to Gerald's place. The cab driver had alot of sense of humour, so he was simply talking to me all the way, but he was funny. After, we went to meet Kenneth & Hazel then we headed down to some place near Tiong Bahru to try out the curry rice. It's indeed good I shall say. More details at http://ieatishootipost.sg/search/label/Hainanese%20Curry%20Rice. From there, we cabbed down to the flea market at Mt. Sophia. It was okay only, not that interesting so we left & went down to Taka. Met Russell, Selena & Wolfgang later on. Everyone started to part so went back to Gerald's place. Now I'm back home...

She left in a cab, not wanting to even turn back or take a glimpse at the sight of him. The cab hurriedly drove off in a jiffy. She regretted it so much. Tears rolled down her cheeks as the cab was moving. She wanted to just U-turn back and just hug him so much, telling him how sorry she was. So the feeling of unhappiness lingered till she reached home and up till now..

My eyes are tired. My heart aches. My mind's in a blank right now.

Gerald, now I know how much you mean to me. No matter what happens, you always try and make sure that we both will work out just fine. When here I am, holding on to the thinest thread of hope, how selfish can I be, you must be thinking. It's not that I want to give up on us completely. But you do know how hard I've tried to always keep us tgther, its the feeling that I don't wna lose something I hold so dear onto, which makes me so afraid of what will happen next. I'm not those who only live for what it is now, but also think of what's to come after. Baby, you're everything to me, you're my world, my universe, a part of me. I promise you, I won't give up on us. Everything can be solved, situations can be managed, I will not just simply give up.

I love you honey, you are worth every single bit of my time, effort & love. We can be happy, & I know we will cos we were meant to be happy cos we truly deserve it (:

Anyhooo, I'm going to remove my email from my blog from now onwards. Random guys have been adding me to their MSN contacts, and I do not have any clue who they are at all. Some are just disgusting pervs. That's it, period.

I'm going to wash up & sleep now. I will not think about the past and whatever unhappy things that have happened. But at the end of the day, I'm thankful for my wonderful friends who have been there for me through it all. I try to hold on to this belief that we live life once, being happy or unhappy, thus I will try to be happy at any cost because being truly happy is all that matters in life, to me that is. Okay, goodnight lovelies. I shall go find food now, cos I'm hungry~~

If I let you down, I'll turn it all around cos I would never let you go.

All my life, I'll be with you forever
To get me through the day

joy

2009-06-26T21:25:00.003+08:00

"This is our fairytale. We are making it true as it is now & it's definitely is leading us somewhere beautiful."

I'm finally back home after being out for 4 days, heh :D Before I left for school on Tuesday, the sunflower Gerald gave me was so pretty but now, it's all withered >:(

It's so good to just sleep till pass 8am this morning and not waking up at 5.30am for school (: E-learning was as usual the same, just did my worksheet and submitted. I just did my RJ, my shortest written RJ, thank God I remembered cos I totally forgot about it!! Went with Joseph to Lot1 in the afternoon, & I spent money again. Roarrrr.. Came back and watched Wanted, its a good show I'll say. Megan Fox can never be like Angelina Jolie because AJ is one of the sexiest woman and no one can take her place for now. Except for guys who watches porn (I don't know), they'll name some pornstar or something (so fake) -.- Hahahaha!

Saddest news: Michael Jackson passed away because of Cardiac Arrest ):

Anyway, I just levelled up to level 16 on Restaurant City! Also, I'm going to try out some damn good curry chicken rice at Redhill tmrw as stated by Hazel or Kenneth? Heh. & later on, 'Revenge Of The Titans' flea market with them & my favorite boy :D Wheeee, I'm so excited somehow.. Marc msged me, he isn't in good condition right now, I hope its not that stupid H1N1 virus or something, be strong boy! Call me if you need someone to talk to yea! Talking about ex(s), I don't ever get jealous of anyone, partly because I'm adamant about myself ^^ No one can ever bring me down, hahaha. I think I have too much self confidence when it comes to comparing myself to other girls next door. Is this a good thing, I wonder? Oh well... As long as I'm happy, everything can just fuck it :D

I'm talking to my Baby now, that boy makes me happy. He's so cuteee. -kisses baby. Alrighty, I'm going to wash up & sleep now. I need my beauty rest, hoho. Goodnight world!

I know I've let you down, but this time I'll never let you go.

You're the one thing I got right
The only one I let inside

joy

2009-06-25T17:56:00.005+08:00

"You really make me complete."

Monday, our faci came back from Taiwan so he took over the relief faci (: Everything went alright, so it was a good thing. Everyone were spreading rumours about the H1N1 that is in RP and that pple were all quarantined. How dumb actually. Apparently, its true that 2 students got infected with the flu virus. Omgosh freaky. Imagine last time Singapore had 0 cases, now...... It's really a sad thing. Brother fetch me home after school and home sweet home!

Tuesday, most of my classmates wore black to school, so it was kinda cool, hahaha! School was alright. Friends made my day better! After school, hang arnd then went to the MRT with my friends. I wanted to take the bus & they insisted to walk. So angry I tell you, I was complaining non stop & Justin was just disturbing me. PRINCESS WHAT, RIGHT!! Hahahahaha :D So went over to Gerald's place then went to NP as he had training. Russ & Gerald were having training so left Selena & I alone for "bonding time" so as what Russ said. Went for dinner after that & back to Gerald's place. I stayed over for the night.

Gerald didn't sleep a wink the whole night. He ordered macs breakfast for me, how sweet right, I know. Hahaha! (: He was also noticing me when I sleep, omgosh. How disturbing. My Baby is just so cute, hehe. I loveeee him..

Yesterday, cabbed to school and Enterprise Skills was plain boring. Wasn't paying much attention. Had some fire drill exercise during our second break, totally wasted our time. Brother came to school to picked me up & back to Grammy's hse. At night, went over to Gerald's place cos I just couldn't resist seeing him though I was tired. Stayed over there for the night..

School's close for some of us right now, & I'm one of them who don't have to attend school. Yeapppieexzxz. But.... we still have e-learning. Wtf I know. First day of e-learning today & it was screwed up. We just did our worksheets and submitted, that's all. Oh boy.. Then, we were all just having our usual mass convo (: E-learning wasn't that good cos lessons were screwed up but I like it, cos I get to wake up late & not travel so far. Anyway, I'm back at my Grammy's hse now! Daddy's coming over for dinner later! I miss him so much.. My dear boy is in school having training, I wish he was here with me, then perhaps we can spend more time tgther. I suddenly feel detached, I miss my room, my bed, the house.

Take me back in the arms I love
Need me like you did before
Touch me once again
& remember when
There was no one that you wanted more

Don't go you know you will break my heart
She won't love you like I will
I'm the one who'll stay
When she walks away
& you know I'll be standing here still

I'll be waiting for you
Here inside my heart
I'm the one who wants to love you more
You will see I can give you
Everything you need
Let me be the one to love you more

See me as if you never knew
Hold me so you can't let go
Just believe in me
I will make you see
All the things that your heart needs to know

You know you truly love somebody when they hurt you so badly, but all you can think about it is the times when they made you smile. True love doesn't have a happy ending or does it? In fact, True love doesn't have an ending. True love is not being with someone because you think you can be happy with that person, but because without that person you know you can never be. True love is when the only thing that makes you cry is seeing the one you care about unhappy. True love is worth waiting for even if it takes a lifetime. Then in return a lifetime of love will be waiting for you...

& yes, I just want to say that my Baby's so cute, especially when I wake him up. He'll get angsty & he'll hit the pillow. Ahhhh. -cuteness. Plus his soft cheeks, I like sinking my cheeks in them too. Too irresistable. Anyway, as you're seeing this now darling, I want you to know that you mean the whole universe to me. I love you so much, & I'll do everything and anything to keep us together. Anything that I hate comes in our way, I'll be a total bitch I swear (I think Marc will agree with me, heh). So just carry on this fairytale with me, and I assure you that everything will be beautiful, I promise!

& because I'm pretty, I'm gonna stop here, haha! -Flings hair.

When I'm lying wrapped in your arms, the whole world just fades away.

Without you, I can't sleep
I'm not gonna ever, ever let you leave

joy

2009-06-21T17:42:00.005+08:00

"You mean the world to me."

This morning, went for mass with Daddy & Brother. After that, we had sushi for lunch, yummy yum yum. Anyway, Happy Father's Day to all the Dads out there! & here's for my one and only father..

Any man can be a father, but it takes a special person to be called Dad, and its you. Daddy, you are a selfless and loving man. No matter how strong the tide may be, you always brace & perservere through it all and gave the best for me. When I'm down or happy, its you whom I can always run to. My pillar of strength, my comfort when I'm down. 18 years of my life, and you have always been there through any circumstances. You gave me great advices and you always make sure that I'm safe from any danger. I ask for anything, & you try your best to give. I can never imagine or comprehend how great your love is for me. You're kind at heart and I'm sure one day you're be rewarded eventually. You are the bestest Dad and I really thank God for you.

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary; When troubles come and my heart burdened be; Then, I am still and wait here in the silence, Until you come and sit awhile with me. You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains; You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas; I am strong, when I am on your shoulders; You raise me up: To more than I can be.

You are a special Dad, & I love you with all my heart.

Okie, back to school tmrw. I really wish there was more days in a week! So Sister is going to Indo with her boyfriend and family. How lucky, but she's gonna miss classes, sadly. I'm gonna miss her too :\ I'm superduper bored right now, I've got no idea what to do. The weather has been a killer these days and I was thinking, the weather gets hotter and more pple will start switching on the aircon and setting it to the lowest temperature. But by doing that, wouldn't global warming become worse? Oh dear.. On a side note, I need retail therapy! I've got the urge to splurge, I want to shoppp so badly!!! >:(

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.
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You know you truly love somebody when they hurt you so badly, but all you can think about it is the times when they made you smile. True love doesn't have a happy ending or does it? In facr True love doesn't have an ending. True love is not being with someone because you think you can be happy with that person, but because without that person you know you can never be. True love is when the only thing that makes you cry is seeing the one you care about unhappy. True love is worth waiting for even if it takes a lifetime. Then in return a lifetime of love will be waiting for you...

I'm missing my sweetheart as usual. I promise to cut down on my alcohol intake & he'll cut down on his smoking. I must stick to my promise. Heheeheee.. I love you Baby!!

edited \ 8:00pm
I'm talking to Gerald right now. He makes me happy with all his fuzzy words. Hahaha :D Received compliments that Gerald & I are sweet tgther & compliments for myself too. Oooh lalalala~~ That's why when life seemed dull, little things can brighten things up! I'm waiting for my dinner now. I miss my boyfriend and I know he misses me too.
-smiles widely

edited \ 10:46pm
Gerald: "You got everything you want baby. You gotta be strong, while I support you all the way from behind. That's how it goes right now, you hang in there. I back you up." I suddenly had a sudden rush of sad emotions. I teared, but talking to Baby has made me feel better once again. He really never fails to cheer me up. I'm happy I've got him.

I love you Gerald Lee, I wouldn't change anything for you.

What I wna most to do, is to get close to you tonight.

This could be all
I've been waiting for

joy

2009-06-20T20:18:00.005+08:00

"It's been hard but worth the fight."

Thursday, change of Science faci. I was damn happy. I don't really like my previous one that's why. Science was as usual nerve-wrecking. Lunch was outside school with my classmates (: Webcammed with Justin the whole day, that idiot was just being an idiot, haha! After school, hanged arnd with him then Daddy came to fetch me home..

Woohooo, I've got SIMS 3 in my laptop ^^ I just hope I don't get addicted to it just like Restaurant City.

Yesterday, as usual very little pple came to school as it was Math. My team members were all slacking, so I had no choice but to do all the work. I can't be like them and not do a thing right? Haiz. I've really got nothing much to say man :\ After school, had Subway with Danial, Angela, Nelson & Antron. After that, headed home, unpacked my stuff and cabbed down to Gerald's hse. The driver don't know took which route and I ended up paying more than usual! Humph. Had dinner with Gerald and his parents at Sushi Tei. The food was like W-O-A-H :D It was damn good! Gerald & I were so bloated. After that, met Girlfriend, Vic & Wolfgang. Hang arnd then we went our separated ways. Stayed over at Baby's hse, love him so much.

Baby woke up earlier than me for the first time today. Slacked arnd at home, we played SIMS tgther and all. It was great company! Then, I cabbed to my Grammy's hse. Aunt Joan is back from Paris with her husband & little Brittany. They are out with my Mom now, so I've yet to see them but I think Brittany has grown up to be a pretty girl now.

On a lighter note, guess what Baby gave me! A sunflower and an ugly doll! :D I'm so happy. Hurhur, most guys are cliche, giving roses, but I've got a sunflower from him, whee! & since last year, I've always wanted an ugly doll, and now I've received one from him! It's called Peaco. Yay! Anyway, I just cried cos my Brother went to pluck petals from my flower and he said it was an accident, now the side of the flower has no petals, urgh, was so angry.

Anyhooo, I'm bored and tired now. Just another day tmrw then school starts as usual. Dreading it so much. Okiedoks, toodles bunnyhops!

Say Hiiii to Peaco!!

I wouldn't trade one memory cause you mean too much to me.

But if I had the chance tomorrow
You know I'd do it all again

joy

2009-06-17T21:07:00.004+08:00

"Love can blind you but also open your eyes. When you're in love, you don't see the real person at all. On the other hand, when you are jilted, or being cheated by your loved one, love open your eyes."

The sentence above is what my ever loving Daddy told me [:

Monday, slept at 2am in the morning. Tossed and turned in bed yet couldn't go to sleep. Called Gerald, he accompanied me on the phone, he sang me songs. How lovely it is to hear his voice before I sleep. He sang me a couple of songs and after, I could sleep so soundly. Had only less than 4 hours of rest then had to wake up for school. Dreaded school so badly but I don't have a choice do I? Was so lazy & sleepy in class that I skipped lunch too. After school, Brother came to picked me up. Went for lunch with Uncle George and back home. At night, met up with Daddy for awhile.

Yesterday, arrived at school early in the morning. But it was good being able to talk to Gerald so early in the morning before I start my day with the stress of school work. Communications was alright, though we had no time to finish the powerpoint. After school, headed straight back home. Had dinner cooked by Mommy, it has been very long since she last cooked so it was rather nice eating the food cooked by her. What's more, its my favorite (:

HAPPY 4TH MONTH ANNIVERSARY SWEETHEART. on 16/06/09
We went through the ups & downs, yet we've made it this far. I love you, and I want to carry on spending my days knowing you love me and so do I.

Earl Nightingale once said that the way to have a happy relationship is to "treat the other partner as the most important person on the earth." If both partners can't treat each other this way, they can't be happy in their relationship. After a few years in a relationship, people stop working on their marriage & begin to take each other for granted. Outcome? Love dies of starvation without the feedback of appreciation, admiration, display of affection & repeated affirmations..

I once went through this phase. & I think I've finally found the person that I really want to hold so dear onto. & this time it's gna be different. That, despite all that has happened, I still chose to believe. So believe with me.. Gerald Lee Wei-En, you mean everything to me. Without you, I'm just like a little girl who still dreams of her prince charming. But now, you are indeed my bright and shining armour! I love you very much hon!

Today was tiring. Third day of school so far, not that good I'll say. I'm just worn out ): On a lighter note, Girlfriend came to school to see me. I finally saw her after so long and I was over the moon. I realised I have been spending all my free time with Gerald and have been neglecting her, now I must try to accommodate. Had the retake of Cognitive UT today, which was quite fucked up, it was kinda difficult. But nevermind. Met Girlfriend, Charmaine & Angeline, we headed down to the Pasar Malam at Causeway Point. Met Adib then we went for dinner and back home. When I was in the bus on the way home, 3 Malay boys were totally checking me out from the outside when the bus stopped. Their stares totally gave me freaks & Adib as usual was disturbing me -.-

I'm really tired right now. But guess what!? I've been playing Restaurant City the whole day, everyday. So addictive. -screams. I started playing only last week, & now I'm at level 11. I beat boyfriend to the max, wheee.. ^^v I feel as though I have no more energy left, its as though I need a long vacation. Damn! I'm so looking forward to the weekends where I see my love. Okiedoks, I'm going to wash up now. Goodnight!

13 June's peektures!

Stay with me till we grow old, & we'd live each day in the spring time.

I'm a prom queen
& you're just from a marching band

joy

2009-06-14T21:56:00.004+08:00

"When you smile, you make me intoxicated and my mind whirl."

I'm finally back after 4 days of not coming home and staying over at Gerald's place. Whenever I do, time always pass so fast. But as long as I have every opportunity, I would spend my time with him.

Thursday, went for my haircut with Sister. In the evening, went over to Gerald's place & stayed over. He finally finished his exams so I just wna spend time with him. In the night, drank a little and all.

Friday, woke up kinda late. We had Sushi Tei for dinner. Woah, it was damn good. Thanks hon for everything.

Yesterday, saw Glenn, Jingy, Kenneth and the others playing soccer nearby. It was nice seeing them somehow. In the afternoon, headed down to Bugis to meet Jane. We went to church but couldn't find seats so we decided not to attend mass in the end. Slacked at TCC for time to pass. Thomas met us soon after then we cabbed down to Arab street. Lazy pple like us don't walk but cab, haha. Justin came along too! I'm glad to see him, especially with that smile of his, made me know he's doing fine but maybe not that fine, but still (: They left so I cabbed back to Gerald's hse arnd midnight.

Slept in till afternoon. Went for evening mass with Gerald, I'm glad that boy went to church with me cos he've not been attending mass for years! Russell and his Girlfriend came and we went to 3-Monkeys at Holland V for dinner. The food there isn't that bad [: Cabbed home after. I wish I could stay longer but fuck, my holidays end today, school starts tmrw. I gotta focus on my school work and stop thinking that I have holidays everyday.

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.
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I swear insecurities kills. I rly don't know how long my heart can take. One day, soon enough, I'll burst, I know that for sure. Trust has to be gained, but I'm sorry to say till now its hard. Behind my head lies the incident that have happened. It hurts to the max, that everytime I just end up slapping myself. Maybe in time to come, I'll just be slitting my wrist. What can I do to ease my hurt? You don't know, neither do I know. I cannot go on holding this thin thread of trust I have in you, its wearing thin. But anyway, all I can do now is tell myself to trust you but you know telling myself that won't rly help.

You were the best I ever had, you were the best I ever wanted, but just that incident could just pull us all apart bcos of how I'm feeling- Insecure. My intuition and gut feeling don't always go wrong. So am I then to trust them or you? Emotions are hard to hide. If the worse have to happen, you know I love you but I just have to let you go. At the end of the day, I 'll ask myself, "Did I let go of a gem so rare?" That I will never know but the risk I'm taking all along.

I really hope we could go back to the start when I used to declare to everyone how happy I was with you. I really hope that it stays that way. Because all I know is even years of a relationship that has been built up can still be crushed in just a single minute. Still, you mean the world to me. When you hugged me, I felt so comfortable like the first time I met you. The way you looked at me, into my eyes. & the way you assured me & told me those 3 words.. From the day I met you, I knew there wasn't a day I can live without you. You've become significant in my life, a part of me... I need you.

There's so much things I wanna say to you. But I guess it takes time. Like you always say, "Its easier to forgive than to forget." I totally agree, for those incidents haunt me at times. I'm relieved I didn't make that impulsive decision last night & I also hope I made the right decision. For now, I won't doubt you. I will just try to be happy, forgetting what happened and live for the moment, alright? People do make mistakes and they ought to have a second chance. However, you know chances only come once. So prove to me Baby that you're worth it.

Its getting late, I have to adjust my body clock. I pray school will not be so stressing. Persevere Joy! Okay, off to wash up, goodnight world!

Baby & mine SIMS' character :D

Cut these lips & they'd read, I love you.

If you call me today
I'd say that I'm fine

joy

2009-06-10T17:31:00.006+08:00

"Fairytales are those that don't mention the bad parts. But we can still do a fairytale."

Yesterday evening, went down to the chalet. It was alright. I gave clubbing a miss cos I couldn't make it, really sad. I miss Aubrey, Starnia, and the others. So was quite sad I couldn't go see you guys. Hopefully another time! At night, played drinking games, drank, laughed, and the list goes on.. It was fun seeing pple turn red, cos I don't so yea.. Hahaha! I remember we went to the bowling alley, & I fell asleep on the table, and my friends purposely left me there. Thank God I knew, I know they won't abandon me. Haha :D Arnd 2am+, Antron brought a few of us go rounding. Went to Changi Village, where you can see all those trannies. I was half dead in the car, and was feeling quite fucked up cos of certain stuff but everything was okay in the end. Came back to the chalet, we were talking about ghost stories, gosh.. Totally freaked me out to the max.

I'm so so tired right now. As you know chalet don't allow you to have much rest. I didn't stay for another night cos I'm really too worn out. I need my bed ): The weather has been a killer for the past few days, making my mood rather up and down. At times, I really wish Singapore snowed. But cuddling with my Baby on his soft comfy bed, under the cotton-feeling comforter, with the air con on, is just whoa. Hahaha!

On a side note, the next iPhone 3G S is coming up soon, I want it in my hands. -pouts. I want a new phone. I want a new camera. I want new clothes. I want more bags. I want nice pretty things. I just want more moolahs to buy everything I want. But then again, I have to burst my own bubble. D-a-m-n.

Hmmm, sometimes you get really bored at home, especially when you're alone, you let your mind run, as free as it can be. At times I feel very fortunate having born in a Molina family. Okie, sounds weird of me saying. But Daddy always tell me because of we're mixed that's why my siblings & I are beautiful. & we don't do what other kids do when we were younger, cause we travel, eat at restaurants & spend time together at country clubs.. Really, I miss those moments! & that just at 18, we don't even need to work right now because we got much funding from our parents. But as time passes, asking money from them isn't that easy.. It makes me feel bad whenever I run out of moolahs, and I really want something, then I'll go forward & ask them in that sulky tone.. Hehe Daddy really knows me best whenever he knows I want something.

Like he always say, "Comparing yourself to others & you'd find yourself really fortunate, having almost everything you want. Look at your possessions. & you don't even have to work besides getting experience, & learning how hard it is to make money." Even my aunts & uncles are doing great, while Grammy still gets her profit from her shares at Jack's Place. & Grandpa doing his business in China & the other parts of the world. I really appreciate everything that I once had & am having now. & I'm grateful to be where I am. Because instead of crying over something bad that have happened over the years or the feeling of something not going right, I should smile, because there's so many things to be happy about!

W4L6n CHALET PHOTOS. (CLICK!!)

W4L6n CHALET PHOTOS!

Pull me under & cover me with dreams.

All the broken dreams
Just take it away

joy

2009-06-09T15:41:00.002+08:00

"Time spent with you have always been great."

Monday blues like they always say. Guess what!? I stayed home all day yesterday except at night. I tell you, its really boring, especially when you are all alone at home. So I took like more than 1 hour to eat my lunch cos I was really lazy. Haven't been meeting my Girlfriends lately, they have been busy with exams and all. Our timings just clashed, sad to say.. I can't wait to catch up with all of them! I miss you guys. I don't want to imagine 2 more years down the road, that I'll still feel like that, I don't wanna drift away from you all ): On a lighter note, I changed my layout. Is it pretty? Well, I think it is. Heheee.

In the night, went down to Red House at East Coast Park for dinner with Gerald & his parents. The food was good and damn filling. His Mom just had to make me finish eating the chilli crab, so no choice but ate. They left so Gerald & I just hang arnd near the sea. The wind was brushing against my face non stop. Having Gerald by my side, just made me feel so happy. Cabbed back to my place & Gerald stayed over. Wheeee... I love that boyfriend of mine :D

Anyway, my days can never been better. Every moment spent with Gerald is always wonderful! I'm really happy :D His words are always sugar coated, they really will make you feeling on cloud nine. Still, I know he meant whatever he said, & I believe him.

Sometimes time just flies by, before you even realize it.. It's all over. So I always try to live each day like it's my last. Surrounding myself with only the people I love & doing things that make me happy. Even if I have troubles, I know that by tomorrow they will all fade away. If they don't, I'll make them go away soon enough. So this is what it's like to live without owing your life to anyone or anything else but you (;

Love me with all of your heart, that's all I want, every night & day. Just promise me this, that you'd give me all of your kisses, every winter, every summer, every time, when you're far apart or near me, with every beat of your heart.

He went back arnd 2pm+ and I'm missing him alrdy. Just why must he have exams this week! Urgh.. But its fine, I'll be seeing him on Thursday. Damn, I just can't get enough of you Baby. Okiedoks, I just packed my bag, gotta head down to the chalet in awhile. Till then...

I miss the lips that make me fly.

All the broken dreams
Just take it away

joy

2009-06-07T23:59:00.010+08:00

"The important thing is you find happiness in yourself."

Went to DOME for breakfast with Brother, breakfast was good. I'm so gonna drag Gerald down there one day for dining (: Went for mass at the Cathedral. It was as usual packed and hot inside. After that, went down to Suntec Convention Centre for Daddy's Home Team Academy Exhibition sort of thing. I was sad when I was there, I didn't managed to see the K9 dogs, urgh. After everything, Brother & I headed down to Punggol to explore. Went to Punggol beach, right inside to just take a look. It was indeed nice! Skipped clubbing. In the evening, cabbed down to Gerald's place then we went to Copthorne King's hotel for Penang buffet. Well, as I was not a fussy eater, I think the food was alright. Next, we went to Dempsey, initially wanted to have ice cream but in the end, ended up at Mykii at Holland V. Macaroons were so delicious, I totally fell in love with it. Late at night, Baby's parents sent me back home, I'm so thankful.

You know that boyfriend of mine has been to many of the places in the world, some including, Rome, Europe, Vernice, Spain, London, etc... I envy him, I really do. His parents are also so loving, they go on honeymoon trips to different countries every year I think. Gosh, envy much. But its fine, I must learn to be contented with what I have. So anyway, Baby & I planned to go to Club Med during our long holidays at the end of the year. So happy ^^v

Love is
a reason for living
a reason for trying
a reason to die for

We are not yet defeated & we never will & whatever happens, I know I'll always find myself back in your arms again because love will keep us together. I'm beginning to think that maybe it's not just how much you love someone, maybe what matters is who you are when you're with them. & I will go to sleep tonight thinking of everything that you've said feeling like the most blissful & loved person ever...

Is this a dream that I refused to wake up from? Or just a fantasy that I'm constantly dreaming of? Please tell me this is real. I don't want my whole world crashing down on me, again. & there I go again, you hear me saying.... I miss you, Gerald.

When the clouds have departed, would you still be right here with me?

Cause when it comes to forever
We should be together

joy

2009-06-06T22:41:00.005+08:00

"I never knew what was worth until I almost lost it."

Went to Lot1 in the afternoon. Guess what, Cotton On had a massive big sale. They slashed prices like mad. GO GO GO SHOP THERE!! :D Had lunch with Sister & Jack then I headed back home. The weather itself was such a killer. I just had dinner with Mommy. People from different walks of life just could make my day. This food stall holder whom I was buying from told my Mommy- "Ni De Nu Er Hen Piao Liang" which means "Your daughter's very pretty. Heeheee!

Anyhoo, my money in my bank is depleting, fast, and I mean real fast. This is very saddening, very very very saddening. I wish money falls from the sky. But then again, wishful thinking huh. Cheryl was telling me some girl whom I don't even know, is claiming that she knows me damn well, but in fact I have no idea who she is. Okay nevermind. I'm tired, I'm feeling so hot too. By the way, guess what!? I'M SO IN LOVE WITH THE NEW CANON DIGITAL IXUS 100IS. The red one is so gorgeous and pretty. I want it in my hands!! Gaaahh..

Clubbing tmrw anyone? Joy's a lonely girl without her bestest friends arnd ):

.
.
.

& what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,
& rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we've been told & some choose to believe it
I know they're wrong, wait & see.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers & me.

Who said that every wish would be heard & answered
when wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that
& someone believed it,
& look what it's done so far.
What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing?
& what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
the lovers, the dreamers & me.

All of us under its spell,
we know that it's probably magic....

Have you been half asleep
& have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors?
The voice might be one& the same.
I've heard it too many times to ignore it.
It's something that I'm supposed to be.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
the lovers, the dreamers & me.

On the side note, I cannot express how much Gerald means to me. I love him, and I really hope we'll pull through all storm. Deep down inside, you know how I truly feel for you. 10 more days to our 4th month (: Putting away all the heartaches, times spent with you have always been the best time of my life. I want to continue having our pictures taken together and writing our own fairytale story. I'm the dreamer, you're the realist, and you make my dreams come true. I love you. Goodnight, xoxo.

WEBCAM CRAZEEEEEEE!

Everytime I breathe I take you in, & my heart beats again.

Everything will change
Drink to all that we've lost

joy

2009-06-05T23:59:00.002+08:00

"Everyday I miss you and miss the times we spent together."

Wednesday, woke up having a shock from my Brother. He had bruise and cuts all over him, worse still, he broke a little of his 2 front teeth. Boy was I so worried for him.. After that, headed down to Holland to meet Gerald and Wolfgang. Slacked at Coffee Bean again, great company I shall say! After that, went to Gerald's hse, then we watch Taken, awesome show (: Wolfgang went back and I stayed over at Gerald's hse again. Gosh, I know I've been staying over a lot of times alrdy, its like my second home. Heehee..

Yesterday, went over to Coffee Bean again in the afternoon. Did my read up on STB & F1 info. In the evening, met Marc at Holland. Catch up with him and all, it was good. Wolfgang & Glenn joined us thereafter. Cabbed down to Grandmother's hse later in the night. Kinda quarreled with Gerald again, but I guess we kinda settle everything alrdy. I shan't be too emotional or sensitive anymore. But oh well, you know at times, its hard to understand the matters of the heart :\

When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favourite things
& then I don't feel so bad

Overslept by 1 hour this morning. I had to rushed like mad. Luckily Adib was willing to wait for me at the MRT station. From there, we trained down to STB. The interview went alright, it was good (: After that, went to Far East with Adib cos apparently, he haven't gone there before. Gerald joined us soon after. Whooo, it was perfect. Adib went off and I spent time with my Baby. We rested at Wheelock and we catch the movie Angels & Demons. The show was nice but we both were freezing like mad in the cinema. But the company was awesome. How can it not be right? Hahaha! Had dinner then he sent me to my Grammy's hse. I'm at Grammy's place now and am staying over. Now that he left, I totally miss him..

Oh oh, did I mentioned that I love Baby's mac computer! Plus all the webcam effects and all. I'm jealous of him all the time. That lucky boy always get what he wants, haha :D

Muffin Daddy baked for me!!

My heart is yours now.

It dawned to me that when you fight
For your own happiness, you fight alone

joy

2009-06-02T18:26:00.003+08:00

"Life is not a cycle of karma. Because pple are pple, they realised how much something means to them after they've lost it."

This will be a very long and wordy post.

Saturday, Sunday, Monday was spent with Gerald Lee. Stayed over since Saturday evening and now I'm finally back home. We went to Jelita to rent the dvd, Bolt. The show is damn nice, everything's just so cute! But we haven't got time to watch Taken. Didn't go to church on Sunday, what a sinner ): All your fault G! & I always end up sleeping at super late hours thanks to you! Dinner with his parents & him was always great.

Yesterday, met Wolfgang & Vic and slacked at Holland V's Coffee Bean. Gerald & Kenneth was there too. Everyone started going off so Vic & I went to buy some alcohol and just drink & talk. Then, Gerald picked me up, and headed back to his place.

.
.
.

Everything seem oh-so-perfect. But yesterday, an incident just brought my whole world upside down.

I was so hurt. I never imagine a person who once picked me up from my previous fall could actually neglect my feelings and just pull me back down to the ground again. How would you feel if any of you were me? I was so hurt. I cried like a baby. I slapped myself for being so stupid. I bang my head against the wall for believing in you. I refused to tell you what I found out, cos its pointless. I've been through alot, and when I tell you what I've known, you will deny, for sure. Ask yourself, did you? In the end, I forgave you. Have you ever ask yourself why you actually deserve my forgiveness? Cos baby, I love you. I gave you my heart not expecting you to break it. You know it very well that ever since I met you, my impression of things change for the good. However, you disappointed me, terribly. Now, I'm back to where I was before, not trusting someone that much anymore.

Lie - Verb [I] lying, lied, lied
To say or write something which is not true in order to deceive someone

Lying will not get you anywhere, we are good at finding excuses for ourselves.

You made me realize I was seriously blinded by love at times.
I find myself drowning in a pool of tears these days, even now as I write this. I find myself in a pressure cooker position. Whereby you don't even know when the pressure will act up. I realized you might have changed or a tad of feelings for me. Unknowingly. I guess its time. & I'll move on with whatever you've given me..

Fact: Guys still lie through their teeth even though the other person already clearly knows the true fact.

My weekend has been great cause Gerald was arnd, but I had a terrible one because my heart was broken. Why? Because I just had to find out stuff which was so unbelievable. What I found out and how he've been treating me just contradicts each other. How could he lie to me? He even had to intention to play me out I'm sure. Tell me, is such guy worth going through so much for? Does he even deserve me? Right now, I just don't wna trust anyone that much anymore. He said that whatever he said wasn't true. That's a lie, period. I know, I know alot of things. You don't have to lie your way through so I could feel better or you wanna save yourself. At the end of the day, I'm sure goodness prevails and I always bound to find out the truth. God is fair enough to make us realize the things that makes us blind. In everything we do, there are loopholes in which the other person would stumble across. & I'm constantly that lucky..

Just because he knows I love him so much, doesn't mean he can take advantage of the fact that he can do whatever he wants. Cos when enough is enough, it really is.

I don't know whats right & wrong anymore. Cause everything seemed so twisted these days. I guess only deep in your heart you know the answers Gerald. & whether I deserve to be treated this way by you. I'm hurt. & I'm starting to wonder if we could even last long enough. At times I wish I was single, really. You treated me like a princess most of the time, this time, a child as though I don't know anything. I'm 18 this year, just 1 year younger than you, but my experiences has taught me, that's why I grow from them & I've learnt alot. & that is why I know stuff. I can alrdy read through you, know how you behave & even read between the lines. I've gone through too much in my past, & each time I just wished I could finally find a good man. I thought you came into my world & was different from the rest. So I let my guard down. But I'm wronged. I've grown to realize this cold hard fact that everyone's just the same. You make me believe, yet you tore me down too. How could I ever gain the trust I have in you back again?

I don't need an explanation if all else fails. Someday you'll know how I really feel for you, I just hope one day you do not regret when everything falls apart, even though I'd still be standing by your side, but I guess I'd kill myself with that fall.. I can't imagine why you actually said those stuff. I know you mean whatever you say, however, you still deny when I asked you. I wna trust you Gerald. But it's heart-wrenching. If I'm really not the girl you want, and you want another like you claimed you wanted (some bitch in your school I presume?), then go ahead. I won't hold you down any longer. Time may be limited for us if such things continue, I guess like what they always say; Let nature takes its course. Whats not meant to be yours, will not be. What meant to be will eventually find it's way back to you.

Letting emotions flow through my eyes while staring at my reflection. Trying to suss things out while hating every bit of my guts. It's an ironic human condition. Have you watched yourself cry so hard. You cry harder upon the reality of being ever so crushed? Then again, I remind myself it's just a phase & its about time to take a turn. But its always easier to write pain than to write happiness. So many unanswered questions. Why?

Cause with you I'd withstand all of hell to hold your hand.

Because of you, my heart continues to love.
Because of you, I've opened myself up to heartaches.
Because of you, I smile, I tear & I laugh.
Because of you, my life turned around.
Because of you, something new began, from the bleak & old.
Because of you, my heart feels warm.
Because of you, I know what Love is.
Because of you, this is reality.
I have always love you, what about you?

All I got to say, I've said it here. You don't go arnd telling pple, or YOUR EX GIRLFRIENDS what we do cos that's for us to know only. By letting them know all the details, shows that you don't even respect me. & if you're uninterested in me, leave me. Just a month back, you were even unsure of your feelings for me. You weren't sure if you love me, if you don't, leave me. You could also let pple know which kind of girl you're going to find after me. What does that show? That you're just taking me for granted. Aren't you grateful for the things you alrdy have my dear boy? You make it sound so easy that when we break up, you will just go find someone else. If you really could, leave me. Those words I saw hurt me really bad. From what I know, one of your ex girlfriends were the best you ever had. I'm sorry to say I can't be the one good enough. Love me for me, and not for anything else. If you can't stay with that fact, leave me.

If your heart can never settle down for me, leave me. If you think it doesn't hurt to know more pple, go ahead, go find the joy in finding all the love you can, which you think they can give you the love like mine. So be it, leave me. Just weeks back, you could even say you wanted another, even though you're with me. You hurt me again and again with words. Don't tell me you didn't mean what you said. Cos boy, deep down inside you know the truth. If you can't even love me for me, can't even cherish me, can even think of playing me out, you don't deserve me, so just leave me.

"You have to be prepared when such things happen. That's why don't take it too seriously. If you're hurt emotionally, you can overcome it with strength." -Daddy
I think my Dad is the best man on earth. He knows it all, when I'm sad or happy. He's always there to guide me through my days. He will NEVER let me fall. I'm thankful.

No matter what happened, I'll grace through any storm. I'll be strong, I know I will be.

Does a smile really depicts the happiness in you?

Mistakes don't mean a thing if you don't regret them.

When you see your life
In someone else's eyes

joy

2009-05-29T19:25:00.008+08:00

"Come to me when you can't handle, I'll try to make you happy."

In the night without stars
You're my light in the dark
And all the things you told me
Resound in my mind
While your thinking strokes my days
Emptying out the mind
Taking away the sleep

Last Saturday, met Zhen & Ruiming at Bugis. Shopped here & there, spent alot. Urgh, will someone just confiscate my ATM card? :\ Walked arnd until legs were aching. Parted with that couple and made my way down to Grandmother's hse. Anyway, I wasn't able to make it to Gerald's tournament today. But guess what, my baby brought back a Gold. They trashed the other schools! So proud of you baby, you & your team did absolutely well :D So as you can tell, he was totally over the moon.

Last Sunday, headed down to church in the morning. Daddy came back from Sydney alrdy & he joined us. Went back straight home after, washed up then headed down for Glenys' party, celebrated her 18th birthday. Caught up with people I miss dearly too, it was awesome (: Everyone went home late at night then a few of us sat by the pool side, sipping alcohol. Cabbed to Gerald's place after that & stayed over. Ended up sleeping at 2.30am.

Monday, class was alright. Dozed off at the later part of the day.. After class, had Enterprise Skills UT, it was kinda tough. After UT, headed down to Holland. Revised my work together with Gerald & Wolfgang. Went for dinner, slacked arnd then went back to Gerald's place. Stayed over for a second night. Slept at 2.30am again. Haven't got enough rest for 2 consecutive nights, it resulted in me dozing off every now & then in class.

Tuesday, went to school as usual. Gerald has been such a sweetheart, he has always been isn't it! He paid for my cab fare to school in the morning for 2 days. I'm so thankful, you're just simple awesome. Thanks darling (: Math UT was alright, it is actually simple but I just couldn't do, so urgh! Daddy came to fetch me home, Adib came along to! I'm such a nice friend to offer him a ride home while that time he was so mean, his dad sent him to school & he didn't want to pick me up. Roarrrrr. It feels so good to be home even after 2 nights out.

However, the 2 nights spent at Gerald's place was splendid. As I was lying in your arms, we spoke, we spoke of love. You knew what I wanted, you knew what I'm afraid of, you knew me. Tears rolled down my cheeks, I didn't want to shed any tear, but you were just too good to be true for me. Indeed I'm thankful of how things are right now, but am also afraid of losing something I'm holding so dear onto. My dreams always have happy endings like fairytales, and I want it in reality too. I love you bayyybehhh! I will always be there for you, promise, cross my heart.
& I will never forget, the first time I laid my eyes on you..

Wednesday, I tried sleeping early however I was still tired when I woke up. Bjorn decided to take the bus in the morning so met him on the bus & went to school with him. Went to class, on my lappy and check my emails. One email message came from my sweetheart. First thing that came to my mind was, A Break Up? Hahaha, HELL NO :D If any of you might be wondering how we are right now, I'm telling you, we're doing absolutely fine, everything's is in place for us. So anyway, Enterprise Skills is always boring and tough, the faci is partly to be blamed. Lessons aint interesting anymore ): I hate periods to the maxxx, I complain like a bitch when I'm pms-ing. & when I have my period, its irritating. My legs will get so weak I cannot walk much if not they will ache like crazy & I'll get super tired and agitated easily. Roarrrrr..

Yesterday, dreaded going to school cos it was Science. My team was alright, just that sometimes they don't do work so I just had to flare up. Sorry guys ): As usual, only for Science presentations, I'm so damn nervous. After school, had Communications test which I think was alright. Headed down to Causeway for dinner with Angela, Danial, Antron, Cheryl & Nelson after. Talked & gossip (WTH RIGHT!!?!) then went to the library to do work. Gerald was a sweetheart, he accompanied me on the phone throughout the whole journey although I know he has his own work to do. I love you darling. Before I slept, I cannot describe how nice the feeling is- hearing your most beloved person's voice and falling asleep knowing that you're loved by him. It makes me happy \(^.^)/

T.G.I.F (: School has been tiring. Today was the last day of school then followed by 2 weeks of holidays. Well, I know the 2 weeks will pass by fast. Worse still, RP's holidays are different from other polys, which is totally a boohoo. But its okay, Gerald & I will always find time for each other. Heh! So had Math today, same thing happened like yesterday, my team mates were all slacking. If you know me, I'm a person who MUST complete the assigned work given asap, & I must do the work before going for break or anything. I did the work all by myself, sigh.. After class, had Science UT, damn bloody tough. & you know what, we have to retake Cognitive Process UT again just bcos the UT Client has problems and it didn't save our answers, therefore must retake. So unfair, damn it!

On a lighter note, I think I've salvaged a friendship which was lost. Did I do the right thing? I hope it is. I've forgiven you. I hope we can still be good friends like always! *inserts bunnies.

Anyhoo, I need to go swimming soon, miss those times with Sister at Temasek Club. I miss going Sentosa with the girls too. Need to find time to catch up with alot of people! Oh, & another thing I just felt like mentioning. I've got Photoshop CS3 in my lappy now! Which means no need to waste time switching on my computer and using my CS2 there. Yayeeee ^^v I need to lose weight damn terribly.

Missing Gerald Lee Wei-En as usual.... Kayy byeeee :D

GLENYS' 18TH BIRTHDAY PHOTOS. (CLICK!!)

GLENYS' BIRTHDAY PHOTOS!

His gold medal :D

I simply love this!! Thanks to Gerald's mom! (:

Think we could last forever? Tell me.

Songs for you
Truth for me

joy

2009-05-22T21:59:00.004+08:00

"You can be with whoever you want, but you can never be mine twice. I want to be your one & only forever."

"There are people who have money & people who are rich."
- Coco Chanel

Monday, reached school kinda early.. Cognitive today was alright. Faci gave us sweets & light sticks! He's super nice :D After school, stayed back for awhile then headed home. & as I'm tired, I'll have this tendency to rush home as fast as I can. Unknowingly, I just cross this junction without looking, and when I just stepped onto the road, I turned my head to the right, and omg, I saw a car coming towards me. I was shocked, I stood rooted to the ground for a few seconds and ran past. This is my second time. The first time, I got hit. Urgh, why am I so careless!! >:( Came home, studied for my Cognitive Process test and have to forgo Spiderman on Channel 5. Booo..

Tuesday, our faci had an accident therefore he didn't turn up for class, so we had the chance of choosing our own team mates. Class was alright I guess.. After school, stayed in school to study and went back home after. At night, Mommy bought for favorite Chee Kuey, which has been a very long time since I ate one. So like yeah, slept kinda early. Supposed to wake up at 4am to revise for my Cognitive UT but didn't in the end.

Wednesday, the old faci again. I wasn't paying attention at all, I shldn't even have come, gosh.. Had test after school then went to BSC for mass with Wolfgang in the evening. Gerald met us there after & we went for dinner at Queensway. I'm a happy girl :D Came back to his place & I stayed over. I have always love the company of Gerald. You got me so hypnotized, so mesmerized.

Yesterday, skipped school cos I was really lazy. Baby went to school while I had to wait for him to come back. Revised for my Science and all. In the evening, went down to Fushionopolis to study with Liangfu. His girlfriend came then he went off, leaving me all alone, urgh. Felt lonely after that so decided to go home. Didn't even eat my dinner cos I had no cash with me & I didn't want to withdraw. How pathetic, period. Went over to Grammy's place to stay.

Went to school with Sister this morning. Comparing the distance to school from CCK & Pasir Ris, a hell lot of difference man! Math today was just plain sickening. Presentation was screwed somehow. Alot of my classmates just left like that, at least I'm not as bad as them, haha! After school, went to play Wii with them. It was fun!! :D Plans to sheesha & all were canceled cos suddenly no girls want to go and I didn't want to be the only girl. Oh, Science UT today was postponed cos the UT Client had problems. How irritating, I studied for it.

I'm super worn out right now. I was supposed to study but plans failed I guess. I am joining Wakeboarding, an expensive sport. I feel bad always spending Dad's money ): But I like it, I want it, raaahhhh.. Daddy's coming back from Sydney soon, yay. Miss him much. I'm going to wash up & hit the pillows and my blankie now. On a side note, moolahs depleting. No money = Unhappy Joy. My incessantly shopping will never cease, pfft. & yes, my baby is having his Rugby tournament tmrw. All the best sweetheart, always right behind you!

So... He open his new cigarette pack. Take a stick out. Wish upon it & put it back. That will be his last stick he'll smoke. That was your wish, that was my wish, that was our wish..

Together we stand, I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand.

Some things in life
You just can't find

joy

2009-05-17T20:20:00.004+08:00

"We made it our way, the way we wanted it to go."

Friday night, went over to Gerald's place. Went for dinner at Holland V and stayed over (: I love every minute spent with you love.

Yesterday, we slept till afternoon then lazed around till evening with him. He also plays Restaurant City. Gosh, I'm seriously tempted to play! With alot of my classmates playing during lesson, they are so distracted, I don't want to be one of them, haha! Cabbed home around 10pm+. Washed up and slept.

Sunday Kind of Love~~
Went to church today. Breakfast with Daddy & facial after that. It's nice being arnd with Daddy where we can just talk about anything under the sun. I love my dad! So, the weekend had gone by extremely fast this time. Everything just felt so rushy. I wished I had slowed things down a little. At least I could appreciate the every moment. I miss Gerald now. I miss him so much...

HAPPY 3RD MONTH ANNIVERSARY SWEETHEART. on 16/05/09
It might seem like a short while, but its its like we've been together forever.
Cause like what Kevin Costner said - Love. I think the only thing that keeps people truly safe & happy is love. I think that's where men get their courage, that's where countries get their strength, that's where God grants us His miracles. In the absence of love there is nothing in this world worth fighting for. & that's exactly what we or in fact, I strongly believe in.

Thank you for everything since the day we knew each other baby. Thank you for being so caring & sweet towards me. Thank you for paying everything all the time, including cab fares, dinners, you name it.. Thank you for letting me vent my anger at you. Thank you for not bursting into flames when I whine. Thank you for loving me for who I am. & the list goes on...

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Oh well, I just never regret being me. I'm fortunate for everything I have, both intangible & tangible. My life, my possessions, my love. Oh boy, I should be grateful. Cause like my family could even afford anything for all of us. I indeed am.

When the little girl holds on to the snow globe so gently in her hands, she refused to tilt it or shake it in any way because she is afraid that one day her castle in the snow globe will be destroyed. She may be standing at the world outside peering in, but she believed she will live in the palace & roll around in the white linen snow someday when she finally finds her way in with love. True blue love.
That girl is me, feeling that way...

Why does the weekend pass so fast? Can't Friday & Saturday at least pace down for me? Now I gotta wait for the next weekend to rest and meet my love! School's been tiring. I've been feeling of doing lots of shopping man! But control! I don't have much to burn right now.. Boo. School's tmrw, & I need to revise for my UTs which is starting on next week onwards. I'm not prepared at all.

Goodnight cupcakes, xoxo.

Gerald's pressie really cost me a bombxzx in total.

Hardcore camwhoring!

I only have eyes for you.

The public aspect of love is chivalry
The private aspect of love is adultery

joy

2009-05-15T19:49:00.004+08:00

""When you were young you could go where you liked but soon, men will bind you and you cannot go where you please..." Our Lord to St. Peter."

Monday, went early to school wanting to use my lappy in the morning but ended up not being able to access the Internet and all, thus had to wait till damn long then went to the IT Helpdesk. Lesson today was alright, lunch with most of my classmates, it was good. After school, went for some Excel workshop, which was alright, but boring and tiring. Daddy came to pick me up thereafter.

Gerald: Bored ):
Joy: HAHA tired I'm instead.
Gerald: Tired I'm instead. Woah, I think you really tired. HAHA.

I was supposed to actually say "Haha, I'm tired instead."

Tuesday, school was alright. Went for lunch with my classmates. Kinda of like saw J* not far way & I was pulling Melvin, asking him to hide me. I don't know why I don't want to face him either. I think I've long put those incident behind, but still, I cannot understand why he actually didn't bother to approach me personally to say anything? Its very upsetting. To him its like, "ignorance is bliss". Okay, I shan't talk so much about it anymore. After school, went to En's class to meet her. Webcammed with my sweetheart. That boy of mine turned 19 on this day (12 May)! Baby boy, you heard everything I wanted to say, so yea. Love you muchiee (: Tennis try outs after that, it was alright, but damn tiring I tell you. Finished at 9pm+, was super worn out alrdy. Managed to find someone who stays near me & I shared cab with her back home. Came home, didn't want to rest early somehow, cos a part of me was missing, I felt weird. Talked to baby, & we webcammed for hours. Time seriously flies. In the end, slept at 1am+.

You make me happy. You let me complain and whine about anything to you. You take it in, & more ever made me smile again. You do anything to enlighten me & make me happy. No matter under what circumstances, you always say you love me. You always pout, but I think that's what so cute about you. You are willing to do anything for me to make me smile, which I think is so sweet. We make each other happy day to day and I'm more than contented. We don't meet everyday, only once a week or sometimes once every 2 weeks, however we still yearn for each other, as we believed "Absense makes the heart grow fonder", right? I like it when you are so blur at times. I remembered the first time I stole glances at you. & now, I love you for you are mine. While you remembered from the time you sneaked peeeeks, but now, we are where we are. There is nothing more I want, you made me feel good enough about every single thing. You are amazing, you really are.

Gerald: Baby you are my fetish, my object of desire, my eyecandy. All that in one. & of course, my love.

Wednesday, faci was damn damn damn boring to the maxxxx. I was super tired the whole day that my friends could actually tell. Angela was so nice, she decided to take my share of work to do as she knew I was too tired and needed rest. After class, Nelson actually realised I was rather quiet today, amazingly. Haha! Had some dry run mock test after school. Then went for this F1 Race Ambassador interview. I just went for fun [: After everything, headed down to Northpoint with Adib for dinner and back home. We talked here & there, and he's super funny as usual. I'm having bad complexion these days, lack of rest and all, killing me really badly.

Gerald: You are one tough cookie I swear. Proud to be your boyfriend. But on a side note uh darling, don't take out on pple uh, take out on me. Haha, I understand you frustrated, they might not, yeahh.
Joy: I'm the cookie, then you are my jar. You hold me close and always arnd whenever whereever (: Hehee yeah I know.
Gerald: Oh gosh, hhahaha.
Joy: But can't be help uh.
Gerald: I am like smiling at that la.
Joy: Hehee!
Gerald: Fuck, you are fucking cute. Cannot stand it, hahahaha.
Joy: Ah baby. Correct isn't it?
Gerald: Yeap correct, hahaha. Then my lid is tightly shut, always my cookie in my jar :D
Joy: Aww okay I like that! The last sentence ^^
Gerald: Hehehe (:

Lovely conversations I had with Gerald so far this week. They are too awesome so I had to list some here. YAY!

Thursday, had Science lesson. I think my faci really dislike me. She picked on me again, saying that I have potential, blah blah blah, yet I'm not showing it. As you know I dislike Science, its damn bloody confusing. But I love my team mates- Angela, Danial, Hidayu & Juraimy (: So Cheryl asked me, "Your boyf in another school, you aint scared?" I replied with a firm "No." I have faith in Gerald and I know he won't cheat on me, right hun? After school, headed down to Causeway with Sister. Bought stuff I wanted to buy, money depleting yet again, sigh.. Had dinner at Jack's Place, our favorite! Then back homeeee...

So the class today was so small, reason being many didn't turn up as they didn't like the faci last week. But they didn't know there was a change of faci. So after meeting 2, some left too, which made the class even smaller. Tsk, my class is so terrible right. Presentation and all went alright (: After school, headed straight back home. Rested for awhile & now I'm ready to go meet baby! Woohooo, finally meeting him after 2 weeks! I'm gonna stay over at his place! Toodles toosies :D

Monday's webcam photos!

Tuesday's webcam photos!

Thursday's webcam photos!

Friday's webcam photos!

If you should fall, remember you almost had it all.

Put down your world
Just for one night

joy

2009-05-10T20:26:00.004+08:00

"Life is like a mountain. Some days are tougher and some days are easier. All we need to do is keep moving and we will make it to our destination."

After church this morning, headed down to some Japanese restaurant nearby my place for lunch with Mommy, Sister & Brother. Sadly, Daddy wasn't there to join us. We ate alot, and seriously, I mean alot. Came home, packed my room a little and am here blogging while watching tvee.

Anyway, Happy Mother's Day To All Hot Mamas out there! O my beautiful mother, many women have done admirable things, but you surpass them all. I love you unconditionally (:

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I know life is vulnerable & uncertain. I know there are no guarantees in life. I know we need our struggles to appreciate any good that comes our way. I know looking in your eyes means so much more then a gentle touch. I know I'm not perfect. I know I'm addictive. I know society has contradictions. I know there are hypocritical people out there. I know karma get the best of us. I know the smooth taste of Jack Daniels soothes my temper. I know rainy days are gloomy yet electrifies intimacy. I know anything's possible once you put your mind to it. I know it's best to ignore ignorance. I know I am happy, content & satisfied with my life. I know I am blessed with a beautiful love. I know some may dislike me. I know majority love me. I know I don't care. I know unfortunate people are more grateful for what they have. I know money doesn't make a man. I know a better body doesn't make a woman. I know I am never threatened by anyone else. I know there's something about your love that makes me weak. I know I am beautiful, naturally. I know being myself reflects so much more. I know I am the epitome of independence, strength, survival & control. I know music calms my nerves yet me makes yearn for love. I know he simple adores kissing these lips. I know who I am. I know the mind holds extreme power. I know money is the root of all evil. I know I may be difficult at times. I know I attract negativity. I know I will continue to protrude positivity. I know, that you know, that I know, that you are aware... that I know. Trust me, I am knowing & I am informed. & knowing is beautiful.

Knowing is beautiful and doing is wise because actions speak louder than words. By our actions lies truth and nothing's more beautiful than being true to yourself and others. Knowing is beautiful & what's even more beautiful is the woman who knows or at least realises that she doesn't have to try to be beautiful. She is beautiful all on her own, with no effort.

You know who you are. You know what you represent. You know what your life entails. You are untouchable. & just by knowing... you become invincibly beautiful (:

I want to go do my mainicure now. There's school tmrw. My daily routine which will continue for years, school home school home, out, home, school. Ahhh :\ Totally wears me out. But I know in this day & age, I need a good qualification, thus I gotta just bear with it. Unless I become a rich taitai \(^.^)/ Then that would be a whole different story, heh. Goodnight, xoxo.

Cause you're only almost here..

Like a purposeful, strong, silent river
With hidden depths & uncharted whirlpools

joy

2009-05-09T22:52:00.003+08:00

"Don't judge people who don't look the same as you do, bcos you never know. One day it might all be taken away."

Monday, reached school rather early. Had to take our temperatures 2 times a day. Went for SOH talk therefore didn't have time for lunch as I had to rush for my ppt too. Whole day was rather sleepy but my friends managed to always make me laugh, even during my ppt presentation, oh gosh! :D Slacked in class after school, then went for lunch with Cheryl & Danial. After which we went for dance practice. We didn't participate cos like we came late so didn't want to interrupt. In the evening, Daddy came to picked me up and went for dinner along with Brother.

Tuesday, I swear I hate hate hate hate taking the bus in the morning! With the bus being filled to the max with everyone, and feeling their bodies touching you, is just disgusting, I hate it. I pray for the day, SBS will seriously do something about it, stupid company earn so much money yet they aint doing anything. On a lighter note, I received compliments again, this time from Danial's friend. Wheee~~ Communication skills today was alright, was kinda slack. Lunch with Danial & Angela, was good. I love Angela la, she's damn funny, I can laugh non stop with her arnd :D After school, met up with Sister and went back home.

Until now, I still am dreading school. I only have less than 8 hours of sleep each day, worse scenario will be 6 hours. Comparing to my holidays, where I can sleep all I want, & I need like 10hours of sleep to be energised for the whole day. Yesxzxx, I'm weird (but my boyfriend still loves me). So like yea, kinda sucky right now. I seriously need to adjust and adapt to how things are right now. To make things even worse, my grades hasn't been very good so far. I've got my first C, from Science. Dammit, I think Science will forever remain as my most hatred subject! Nevertheless, few As, and the rest all Bs, aint very good. I need to work really hard! Must must must ):

Wednesday, wore my new dress, carried my new bag, happy! However, the rainy weather in the morning didn't dampen my mood. Talked to Gerald on the phone on the way to school, it was good, very good. Makes me happy, that I can go wheee~~ forever. Hahaha! Today was damn slack, new faci and I didn't do much work. Went opposite school for lunch with, Cheryl, Melvin, Danial, Zak, Clarice, Nelson, Antron, Angela, Ardly & Charles. As usual, we were all having mass convo in class, it was damn hilarious. I didn't pay much attention thus I failed my quiz, urgh. So anyway, after school, headed down to JP to spend time with Sister & buy pressie for Mommy. Daddy & Jack came to meet us later on. Bumped into Vic & Acit, that lovely couple. & also Debra, shocking somehow [: Went into this shop, this lady complimenting Jilly & me ^^v

Thursday, dread going to school cos its Science. Was rather upsetting cos my faci told me that I have great potential but am not performing up to my abilities ): So yeaaaaa, very very sad. Presentation was also screwed up, I talked half way, and I was shaking and stammering. Didn't know why I was like that, I wanna change team!! Gosh. Anyway, my classmates are funny pple, I love them, haha! After school, went to collect something then back home.

Yesterday, had a different faci and she was indeed good. Was so slack in class somehow. Nothing much happened. After class, few of us stayed behind and suddenly we ended up talking about ahlians & that Antron said I'm an "angmoh ahlian". Walau, so retarded I tell you. Then, went for some Marketing IG talk with Angela, Danial, Antron, Sherena, Malcom and Zack. Had some refreshments then headed home. So anyway, I received compliments from a few people again today, which makes me go wheeee... Self esteem goes up up up up! Hahahaha! (inserts all the happy smiley faces). Mommy gave Brother 2 tickets for Jack Daniel's party at hardrock cafe. I insisted that she must give me next year when I turn 18. Woohooo..

Went out with Girlfriend today. Waited for her damn long as usual. Before that, met up with Wolfgang & his friends for awhile. Bought baby's pressie and shopped around. I spent a bomb today, sadddd. I need money to come in to my pocket soon! I just can't take my eyes of Charles&Keith's footwear and bags. They are all so pretty. I can't stand getting my eyes fixed on such stuff, makes me wanna own them. Yet again, money doesn't drop from the sky, sadly. I'm super tired now.. & because I'm pretty, I'm gonna stop here, haha! -Flings hair.

I miss Gerald & I can't wait to see him once again! We didn't meet this week. I've got to admit that we're such a perfect wonderful couple. Tsk & I bet all of you out there thinks that way too. I know. Haha heh!

Joy: I believed when you told me wishes do come true (:
Gerald: And I believed in turn when you told me you love me.

Is my Marie cat nice? [:

Camwhore peektures in school!

Overdue pictures on Thomas' birthday!

Vulnerability in love is but inevitable.

I wish I could tell you that
You are the beginning to my happily ever after

joy

2009-05-03T20:47:00.002+08:00

"I can't sleep cos you're running circles in my mind."

Nothing much happened today, only went to church for mass in the evening, all by myself.

In love, we all take risks. We all fall down
But you should never be scared to go that extra mile
A little further, a little crazier
Because in the end
The sweetest love is the one that made you lose control

Sitting up here alone in my really cozy room got me thinking so much. As we laid in the arms of each other that very day when I was over at your place, I looked you in the eye. Tears rolled down my cheeks. I wanted to tell you how much I regretted to have done things in the past that hurt you. I am so sorry. It was only when things all just came crashing down, only did I realised how much you mean to me. I love you, Gerald. I've love you now. & I'd love you always. I'm willing to do anything for you boyfriend (: & yeah nothing can describe how I'm feeling now. I'm really happy. I'm happy for everything that is going on right now. Oh God make it stay this way forever.

Take my hand, & I'll show you where this love could take us. So put your faith in me, trust me with all your heart. Because I can promise you that I'd never let you down. I'd make promises because I do know what I want, & it's you & I know I can live up to it. Someone I'm willing to make sacrifices for. I'm yours, & I'd always be here. I miss you much already, your company yesterday and the day before was simply priceless! Stay with me, cause I can't be without you. Hold me close, cause I've built my world around you. Just stay with me, cause I don't know what it feels likes without you, xoxo.

School again tmrw, the one day holiday doesn't make any much difference. Start of the week, being so stress in school and all, oh boy. But I always can't wait for the weekends, where I can see my sweet cuppycake (: Alrighty, watching tveee now, show's getting more interesting. Toodles tootsies ^^v

You live, You love, You grow, You fly.

Marriage is the only war
Where you get to sleep with the enemy

joy

2009-05-02T23:59:00.002+08:00

"It's no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then."

Yesterday, went over to Grandmother's hse for Aunt Christine's birthday plus Mother's Day. I was so sleepy the whole day, plus the ridiculous weather just made things worse. After everything, went down to Katong, some pub called 57 Chevy, to meet my lovelies. It was good to see them.. Hang arnd for awhile then cabbed down to Bojangles with Zhen & Ruiming for some drinks. Baby came to meet me there too! Arnd 1am+, went down to his place. Guess what! Bacardi baby, yeaaaahhh... We drank quite a bit more. Hahahehehoho :D Stayed over, snuggling in bed was just so good. Your warm embrace brings tears to my eyes, not tears of sadness, but tears of feeling so loved. I'm still very grateful that all's well now & that we are really happy together. I guess that's all that matters right.

Slept only at like 7am I think then had to go down to Turf City, baby's rugby thingy. Was so so tired I tell you. He didn't played though, & I hope his back will recover soon. After everything, went back to his place and rested for awhile. At night, went for dinner nearby and cabbed back home. My eyes are about to close anything, really sleepy. Goodnight!

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Before you sleep, who is the person you would say goodnight to?
When you are in front of the computer for long, who is the person you keep on thinking about?
When you are all relax & listening to the finest music, who is the person you are thinking about?
When you are holding your boyfriend or girlfriend's hand, do you ever think of somebody else?
......If so that's your true love

I'd run a million miles just to hear you say my name.

In a world that's losing hope
You're my only hope

joy

2009-04-30T19:30:00.003+08:00

"I've never treat you like someone to hang on. I've treat you as a special friend. I've never take you for granted."

Look at the above sentence. Boy, prove me wrong. Early mornings & lunch breaks wouldn't be the same anymore. Oh nevermind, I'll get use to it, I know I will..

Monday, woke up thinking I was late for school so check my phone timing alot of times, in the end I realised I wasn't late. School was just plain boring. Few hours in class & I was so damn bloody sleepy alrdy. But anyway, my friends managed to perk things up for me! :D Having Danial sitting beside me is always a bonus, he's so like Wolfgang, can't stand it, even En agrees! Lunch with both of them. After school, headed down to Causeway Point with Sister & Julie. Shopped here & there. Went to Lot1 too, shopped again. I'm bad bad bad. I can't stand the sight of pretty things, make me wanna own them. After everything, went to have dinner with Grammy and the others, it was good. But I swear the whole time I was feeling so so sleepy.. But nothing beats having the company of lovely pple arnd.

Tuesday, cabbed to school with Adib, reached school super early. Less than 2 hours in school, I alrdy felt like shit & wanted to go back home, but I persevered all the way :\ Worse still, I came my period, which is so irritating, hate it hate it! Science class today was nerve-wracking. Presentation was screwed up, but nvm uh, I can't be bothered much. After school, met up with Sister for awhile then went back home.

Yesterday, took the bus to school in the morning, it was damn crowded as usual. Legs were aching so bad after standing so long, was such a killer. We had a different faci for our Enterprise Skills today. He gave us that kind of feeling that make us don't like him. Most of us in class were having mass convo on MSN the whole day, damn funny! It was kinda slacked somehow too. After school, went to see all the IGs, signed up for a few. After, went to TRCC with Atiqah & Liangfu. Stayed longer with Liangfu as Atiqah went back.. Was so damn bloody tired that I dozed off in the bus, luckily I alighted at my stop. Went to Selegie to buy beancurd then back home..

Math lesson today was damn b-o-r-i-n-g. Had mass convo with my classmates as usual. Math questions were so tough, I really couldn't do this time round. Most of us just gave up, and just do what we could for presentation. I think it was badly done that my faci said that our presentations had no substance. Oh well, didn't eat much for lunch today cos didn't have much appetite, didn't meet En either :\ During lunch break, all of us couldn't take it & all wanted to just leave. One for all, all for one, but in the end, some hesitated and all, so we decided to just carry on with the boring and stressful Math class.

It's 30th April today, a few more hours to May. Wow, that's fast. School has drained me out almost everyday. But I'm holding on, striving for my As & Bs that I seriously need. & like a bird drowned in the water, yet reaching out onto the very surface of the water, just trying to breathe in some air. & when the going gets tough, I know the weekends are my saving grace, where I'll get to see Gerald or spend some quality time with special pple. That just makes life so much better. Anyhoo, there isn't school tmrw! Screams for joy, woohoooo! :D Okiedoks, I'm dead hungry now, am craving for something soupy. Also, I just wanna bury my head in my pillows & sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep..

You, my sweet embrace.

Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said that it would be this hard

joy

2009-04-26T18:25:00.002+08:00

"I'm happy we've made it through."

Hola! I haven't been blogging for a long time. Mainly bcos of school. It has drained every single bit of me, I think I'm just not used to it yet.

Monday, bumped into Adib in the bus. Then he told me to alight at this particular stop to change bus, in the end, it wasn't the bus I wanted to take to school. Cos I didn't want to take that bus, as it stops at Woodlands mrt & I don't wna walk to school cos so far. In the end, we ended up taking a cab & reached so early. Met up with my secondary school friends & all. Then, went to class. Well, my class is alright I guess? The people are also alright. Webcammed with Niezam in the morning, its so good to received compliments at the start of the day, it totally made my day ^^ Went for lunch with En & Justin then back to class to do my presentation. After school, went to meet Sis for awhile, then back home.

Tuesday at about 1am+, got out from bed. Couldn't sleep, due to my throat. It was so damn pain, plus I had running nose. I couldn't take it, I cried ): Mommy in the end gave me some medicine which cause drowsiness. Ended up waking up late, I think it must be the medicine. So got ready & all and cabbed to school. $20+ man, so exxxx. Liangfu was waiting for me at the bus stop, how nice. First thing, he said was like, why I always got so many clothes to wear. Haha! He went off then met Justin & went to class. Science class today, don't really like Science, topic was on blood. My faci was kinda strict somehow.. Met up with En, Huda & Justin for lunch [: Later part of the day felt really really sleepy. After school, met Justin, Ivan & Derrick. Slacked arnd in school, did work & all. Supposed to go home but ended up going to Causeway Point. Had Swensens there with Justin then Brother came to pick me up. Bumped into Anna, she asked me to join her, Christopher, Ron they all for dinner, but I didn't want, cos too late & I'm sure Gerald wouldn't be happy either.

Wednesday, hated the very fact the bus is always pack to the extreme. Literally feeling everyone's body! Its disgusting & what the hell, can the bus company let more buses come in the morning or something! Enterprise Skills today, was alright I guess? But spent alot of time on presentation. Received compliments again, wooohooo! Everything ended, didn't stay back for long. Daddy came to fetch me back home as he took off today. I love today's RJ question: "Select an individual whom you admire. Elaborate and justify your choice." Definitely, my Daddy (:

Thursday, woke up earlier than usual cos wanted to go to school to transfer money bcos I bought stuff online, in the end, I wasn't able to do so cos the ATM machine couldn't issue receipt!! I'm gonna get my ibanking card when I go out next, pfft. Justin came early to accompany me, thankkk youuu. When I entered class, first thing Danial said to me was, "Why you always dress so stylish?" Haha, I totally laughed. Lunch at TRCC, it was good. Math class today was fun, didn't have to do presentation, so was quite relax. Played game & all, so happy my team won!! I'm so happy for myself, answered most questions, resulting to such a high score (: Shouted alot during the game, therefore my throat was damn pain. Urgh.. Kinda watched a little of Saw V on my lappy, where everyone crowded arnd to watch, damn gross & sadistic I swear. After school, didn't join the Bellybuttons peeps for lunch cos they wanted to go Causeway & I'm lazy. Stayed in school with Justin & went home at 6pm. Came home, was super worn out to the max. Oh oh, & I received compliments again again, heeeheee ^^v

Friday, reached school kinda early partly cos I ran for my bus in the morning. Cognitive process class was alright, though it was kinda tough, have to look within things. But overall, the faci was good so everything went alright. Got to know some of my grades, I've got B for Science, but on a much lighter note, I've got A for Communications (: After school, headed down to Fairfield with En. Collected our cert & testimonial. Cabbed to Gerald's hse after.. Went down for dinner & stayed over for the night. He helped me out in my quiz, so so so happy, heeheee :D

Yesterday, woke up in the afternoon. Lazed arnd & brought Ash down to walk walk. Gerald disturbed him, he pushed Ash down the slide. I think Ash has a phobia of it now, haha! Just watch the video below. But it was damn hilarious. Went back to his place, & slept for awhile. At night, headed down to Dempsey Road with him & his parents, had Korean Charcoal BBQ for dinner. It was good, bill amounted over $300. Madnesssss.. Then, Brother came to fetch me back home. I realised I didn't took a picture with Gerald recently ): & also, I left my ring at the dinner place. Pfft.. I always have this tendency of taking out stuff and forgetting to wear back, I need to stop doing so!

Anyhooo, my wardrobe is bursting, yet I'm in need of more clothes. Shopping is addictive. But money depleting is heartbreaking. Roarrr! I spent almost almost $1xxx this month, oh my my my goshhhh... I'm terrible. I need to save save save, someone help me stop my addiction of shopping :\

Last night, I was happy. But I had all those weird emotions gushing through me too. I asked myself what it is. No no, it has nothing to do with Gerald. I know what it is, only I know, but I couldn't find the right words to pen it down here. Sigh.. Sleeping is the best thing, it somehow puts your worries & everything at bay.

Went to church this morning, had lunch at E! Hub, Gerard joined us. & back homee.. Basically, nothing much today. The weather's damn hot right now, I'm having a damn bad headache. Anyway, I've thought about things, & I decided that I don't wanna bear grudges or anything anymore. I know by the graces of God I will be able to forgive you and bring everything back around. It's only a matter of time.. Its also time that I stop letting my emotions run and instead, use my brains to think. I'm going to change my nail color! Goodbye.

Watch!! Ash on the slide [: Cutenesssss.

They spoke of love.

Running in circles, coming up tails
Heads on a silence apart

joy

2009-04-19T19:15:00.004+08:00

"You're the only one I would go the extra mile for, cos you're worth every bit of it."

Yesterday, decided to get my butt out of hse though I was super lazy. Met Justin & we headed down to Marina Square to meet Vic, Wolfgang, Bev, & Putri. Slacked at the stairs and all. Was so hungry so grabbed a bite at Burger King first. Had no choice but to eat that cos someone said it was better than LJS. Roarrr, hahaha! Huizhen, Ruiming, Sha & other friends came to joined later on.

Went over to esplanade instead. Bought alcohol.. I swear I'm an alcoholic, I admit :\ Drink drink, talk talk. Then it started to rain! Wtf. So anyway, I left that place in the morning, I think like 6am+. Cabbed home, thank God got no morning surcharge. Haha. Came home, slept for awhile then had to go to church. I woke up damn late. I locked my door, therefore my Brother couldn't wake me up earlier. & he was saying if there was a fire, I'll probably die. Haha. I took 20mins to get ready, was rushing, record man! After mass, went for lunch & back home to sleep. Supposed to meet Gerald today but in the end, never, cos I was too tired. Haiz, so upset.

Anyhoooo, y'know I admire people who are filthy rich! I come from a well to do family but I guess I always want more than what I already have. Like my clothes.. I just want more & more, shoes, bags, accessories, stickers & everything pretty you name it, & the list goes on forever.. It really makes me feel happy. But when I sit down at times to really ponder about it, I realized that the bestest thing in life are unseen. & that's, Love. Although I feel sad not having everything I see that I like, but I guess that's something I got to face up to.. & learn to be like any ordinary girl to have what she already has. Like Paul used to say, "Whatever you bound on Earth, it will not be bound in heaven. Whatever you don't have right now, you shall have it all in heaven..." That I believe.

Right now, I just feel like having those kinda feeling where I would just sit down with my love, looking at the boundless sky with no one around but just us (: With me just in his arms, his warm embrace.. Because only then, I feel the lightest, where all my troubles seems so far away, where there's something really felt - true love~

Alrighty, I'm still feeling sleepy. My throat is so damn pain when I swallow. Urgh urgh.. On a side note, I'm so gonna get a naval piercing!! Must get must get :D Hahahehehoho. Weekend can't come any faster! Ooh baby boy! School starts tmrw, holidays are over.. Back to waking up at 5.30am. Tell me what's the difference of a secondary school kid, pfft. I shall go find food now, toodles ^^v

How did I fall in love with you?

Catch a falling star
& put it in your pocket

joy

2009-04-18T17:09:00.002+08:00

"Who ever have you, is really lucky."

See that sentence above. Gosh.. Not one but many have said that to me. Well, I know myself that I have my own flaws sometimes. I shall put it this way, not my partner is lucky, we both are lucky [:

Yesterday, had to go to our class for some stuff. Currently in W4, 6N. I know nobody there except for Adeline who's in SOH too. Only first time meeting, so can't really judge. Webcammed with my Baby when I was in class, he's so cuteee ^^v With his super messy hair & all, just lying on his bed, with Ash on the pillow. Went back to homebase, did all the cheers & all. Orientation was awesome though, I think those who didn't turn up or left half way totally missed out the fun! Shout so damn much till my throat is feeling all so itchy. Friends I made too were close, Nurul, Adib & Aishah especially, you pple have been great! It's such a pity that we aren't in the same class. So anyway, we didn't win the principal's cup this year, instead we got third & it was SAS who won the title. But its fineee.. Kyser was there, apparently he was like saying loser to me that we lost. I shouted to him in the face that at least we (SOH) won 2 consecutive times in the previous year. Loser much..

JAM & HOP was at night, after which they just played songs & all where we started moving to the beat. Much more of like clubbing. Great company :D Feet were aching so much after that & perspired like mad. Anyway, I did enjoy myself for the whole orientation. I hope there're many more great experiences & fun in RP. Looking forward to it, & I hope school will not bore me out in the future. 3 years in RP, wish me the best (:

It's Saturday today, a day nearer to starting of school. I must not dread school. I must not dread school. I must not dread school :\ Supposed to go out to meet my lovelies, but am really lazy & the weather is another cause. I think most probably drinking tonight is canceled too. Gaaah, I'm going to hit the showers now, later!

Yes I will, these 3 words I promise you.

If being crazy means living life as if it matters
Then I don't care if we're completely insane

joy

2009-04-16T14:47:00.004+08:00

"I loved you yesterday, love you today, & loving you tmrw."

Yesterday, was so tired I just decided to sleep in just a tad more & cab to school in the morning for orientation. Before leaving the hse, I usually used to drink a cup of water first. This time I was rushing & I choked on the water. How dumb can I get. I totally spit all out, & felt upset. Hahaha! Liangfu met me in school cos he didn't want to be alone. It was another day & fun, yet exhaustion. Had the principal's cup, which was tons of games & all. Bumped into Huda, Ivan & the others. It was good to see them. SOH have been winning the title for 2 years so hopefully able to win again this year round [: Gopal suddenly asked me to go for this interview about the orientation. So was like kinda shy, so dragged Adib along. He's so funny la, always make me laugh. Luckily ended at 5pm, not so bad. Supposed to meet up with Justin but that boy went off so fast cos he said he couldn't get through me. Gaaahh.. So after everything, went to the pasar malam at Causeway Point there with, Adib, Nurul, Aishah, Jiahao & the others. Walked arnd & back home.. Skipped dinner, washed up & off to bed.

Slept really early last night. Supposedly to go for orientation today, but overslept & felt rly uncomfortable. Throat was such a bitch, I think I shout & cheer too much alrdy. Damn, I know I'm gonna miss out alot today. Gaaah, but no choice. My body needs rest, I'm not a robot. I don't know why I need sleep so much >:( Alright, so bored at home. Supposed to meet Baby later but plans were all canceled. Instead, we'll meet up on the weekends.

Anyway....
HAPPY 2ND MONTH ANNIVERSARY SWEETHEART.
Though it has only been a short period of time, I'm really glad we managed to pull through any circumstances. Please forgive me for mistakes I make sometimes. I love you & I'll always try to make both of us happy (: You have always been right there for me. You're just too nice at times, I go lost for words. I thank God for you, really.. Because you're the first person I wanna look at when I wake up in the morning, & the only one I wanna kiss goodnight. Because the first time that I saw these hands, I couldn't imagine not being able to hold them. I swear you got me smitten the moment I saw your face. Hehex.

I don't dream of having fancy cars & bikes, I dream of you riding with me. I don't dream of a candlelight dinner, I dream of a simple dinner with you. I don't dream having a fancy mansion & castle, I dream of you living with me. I don't dream of getting married, I dream of us holding hands growing old together. I don't dream of having puppies in love, I dream of us having kids. I don't dream of the birds & the bees, I dream of us cuddling on the beach shore. I don't dream of becoming rich & famous, I dream of us supporting each other. I don't dream of spending the holidays with you, I dream of everyday being a holiday with you. I don't dream of valentines, I dream of us admiring each other. I don't dream of hugs & kisses, I dream of togetherness. I don't dream of going on hikes & trekking with you, I dream of us protecting each other. I don't dream of you always paying the breakfast, lunch & dinner meal, I dream of us having a picnic. I don't dream of happy memories, I dream of us staying happy. I don't dream of wishes coming true, I dream of dreams coming through. I don't dream of you, I dream of us.

Sometimes wishes don't come true, dreams can. So I would stop wasting my time wishing upon a star a happily ever after. I'd take a picture together, place it safely under my pillow & start dreaming... I love you sweetheart!
With lots of love, The Fabulous Joy!

edited \ 07:24pm
Mommy bought Beef Hor Fun back for me, my favorite. My skin is damn bad now, I need to have more rest & drink more water. & also, I know my period is coming, urgh!! Hate it to the maxx !*#@&$%*#^* To worsen things, most of my group of friends in SOH are all posted to block E3, only I'm in W4. Sad sad sad sad >:( I wanna go rest now, till then... Long day tmrw, 12 hours in school. Sigh.

Oh kiss me beneath the milky twilight.

Like a purposeful, strong, silent river
With hidden depths & uncharted whirlpools

joy

2009-04-14T21:02:00.004+08:00

"The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost."

I'm back from JB! ^^
Yesterday, had to find my way to bus stops & all to take bus down to school. I'm an total idiot I think, but nevermind I have better directions and all this compared to Gerald. (1 brownie point for Joy!!) Hahaha. So like, orientation was good I'll say. Made friends & all. Thumbs up! Our group name was Belly Buttons. Ran arnd the whole school for games and all, which is fun, but I don't like to tire myself & make myself perspire. Nevertheless, everything went alright. Though I still had like marks on my legs, due to all the clappings on my leg. It still hasn't gone away, ugly fugly to the maxxx. After everything, which ended at 8.30pm, went down to Gerald's place. Hang arnd for awhile then he sent me to Grammy's place. He's such a sweetheart. He came up to the hse for awhile then he went off..

This morning, woke up so damn early. Didn't have enough rest at all, which made me rather unhappy & grumpy the whole day. But shopping at JB, City Square, was goooood. Surprisingly, Sister & I didn't buy any clothes at all, rather on footwear & accessories. Whoohooo.. I'm lucky enough Daddy still continues to give us money whenever we need more or what we really really want to get. He even takes us on shopping trips at times & all. I'm to be glad & appreciative of the blessed life I've been living all these years. I've seriously never been through shit yet. & I really don't want to. & I'm still bloody hell complaining. Oh wells~~

Was practically sleeping on the way home in Daddy's car that I never answer alot my calls, sorry!! I haven't unpack all my stuff, really am too exhausted. I have to tuck in to bed now, if not I can forget about going to school tmrw, goodnight world.

Ps. I love all my fabulous friends. & I'm sorry if I haven't been spending much time with you all. You guys know who you are.. Sorrrryyyy.

Cause with you, I'd withstand all of hell to hold your hand.

Tell me your secrets, & ask me your questions
Oh lets go back to the start

joy

2009-04-12T20:06:00.003+08:00

"Don't hold onto the past, but move on. Learn & let go."

Rejoice! For He has risen! (:
Heaven is united to earth, and God to man. I wish everyone a very blessed Easter :D

Hola! It's Sunday in the blink of an eye. My weekends wasn't that fantastic. But everything just went well. Attending church on this Good Friday week has been fulfilling though. Woke up at like 2pm today. Could actually sleep in longer but had to go to church in the early evening. Was trying clothes for tmrw & what the fuck, seriously what the fuck, I think I've put on weight. I feel fat FAT fat FAT fat >:( Someone just kill me. I wanna be slim SLIM slim SLIM slim. Humphhh, this is so depressing. But when it comes to exercising, I'm the biggest procrastinator, damn it.

Got to know some news from Petrina. She was telling Brother about this guy she met on Facebook, R*. Apparently, they both met up & the unexpected happened. Oh gosh, so Brother was warning me time & time again about R* cos I knew him. I didn't actually believe him. Thank God I haven't met him as I kept pushing the dates. It has sparked my thinking not to judge a book by its cover. This is so freaky. & thinking of what that happened upon Petrina, has left me feeling disgusted, & leaving no respect for him at all. He doesn't have any shame I presume. Then again, I got to be careful myself. What Daddy has always thought & reminded me since young musn't go down the drain..

Anyway, tmrw's my School of Hospitality Freshmen Orientation & I know no one at all in my course. Gaaahh.. I hope everything will go well though. Then, meet that Gerald Lee Wei En after & stay over at Grammy's place. I'm drinking my favorite almond drink & eating strawberries now (licks). So yummyyyy...

Tuesday: A little shopping trip at JB. Till then..

Tell me I have pretty nails ^^

I'd send you all my love everyday in a letter, sealed with a kiss.

You're the meaning in my life
You're the inspiration

joy

2009-04-11T15:52:00.010+08:00

"No matter what, you gotta be firm."

I miss alot of people right now, & I mean alot >:(
I doubt I could ever meet them soon enough before school starts .
I need a last drinking session before school starts (haha).
I think life isn't that smooth sailing, but I'm glad I have such awesome friends, needless to name all.
Life's fantastic, but sometimes I could not fathom it's downs.
I'm happy cos someone called me princess & said I'm the luckiest girl on earth.

HAHAHEHEHOHO! \(^.^)/

edited \ 11:59pm
Headed down to Grandmother's hse in the evening. Its actually a gathering for Joshua's entry into army. See, people grow up & when they have to do what they ought to do, you'll start missing them. So skype with Ruth too, she's in Orlando. She's there for a few months & then she'll be back.. Watched the 12 Lotus too. Drinks are on the list as usual, Red wine, vodka, gin tonic! Am currently back home, didn't go to church for Easter Vigil in the end, gaaahh..

Anyway, in the afternoon when I went down to withdraw money, this few fucked up Malay kids were seriously screwed up. They kept whistling to me & saying "Hey sexy" & all. They could even hide behind the wall & talk rubbish. Woah, my heart was boiling & I wanted to shout back at them and point a middle finger but I just hold it within me. Gosh, screwed up kids I tell you. Baby was telling me to take it as a compliment. Hahaha, that make everything brighten up though (: Heheee. I love you honeybuns.

I wish time would slow down right now. When I was so free, I didn't make use of my time properly. Now that when things are so fast paced, I wish I could make amends. I have this sudden urge to club, damn. Roarrrr, I shld just go rest now.

We all need a person who can be true to you..

It is so easy to fall in love
But hard to sustain

joy

2009-04-10T03:22:00.007+08:00

"You're too young to keep in all the hurt by yourself, throw it all away."

Hello earthlings. Just look at the time now, & I'm not sleeping. Just did my nails. Orange & pink, I like :D Have been chatting online & watching tveee... Baby's at some club now. He was super high and all. I hope he's fine now. I'm worried that explains why I'm not in bed still >:( I feel like munching on something, but I can't. Today's Good Friday which means fast & abstinence, only 1 meal for the day, which probably will be my dinner, gaaahhh..

Was supposed to webcam with Justin, but due to my weariness, I didn't. But it made me snapped some random shot out of boredom. Hahah okiee, I want to lie down. My laptop isn't charging, which means my laptop battery is dying & it may off anytime, so I'm going off now, to lie down on my bed ^^v

edited \ 10:24pm
Good Friday today, it was a sombre occasion. Woke up at 12pm, & got ready to go to church. Couldn't sign in to my MSN & hotmail so I thought someone hacked into my account. I was damn bloody scared. Hahaha! But anyway later on, could get in & I change all my passwords (: Good Friday service at Immaculate Heart then went for Tenabrae(Divine Office) at Christ The King. Gerard joined us too. Brother & him are always super funny, I can laugh non stop at them. My throat is hurting like a bitch, I need to drink more water. I'm feeling quite 'urgh' now, cos I have been having late nights. My whole body seems fucked up. Ahhh, I'm tired to the maxx right now. Off to hit the showers & the bed.

Love – Tested: God's infinite love is shown and "tested" in the extreme sufferings & death that Jesus went through for us. The depth of our love for God is shown in the quality of the living of our faith. Do we bear our crosses in life willingly or grudgingly; humbly or self-righteously?

Were you there when they crucified my Lord?
Were you there when they crucified my Lord?
Oh! Sometimes it causes me to tremble, tremble, tremble.
Were you there when they crucified my Lord?

Were you there when they nailed Him to the tree?
Were you there when they nailed Him to the tree?
Oh! Sometimes it causes me to tremble, tremble, tremble.
Were you there when they nailed Him to the tree?

Were you there when they laid Him in the tomb?
Were you there when they laid Him in the tomb?
Oh! Sometimes it causes me to tremble, tremble, tremble.
Were you there when they laid Him in the tomb?

edited \ 11:59pm
I don't know if what I read was referring to me. If it was, then screw you bitch. I ruin everything you've tried so hard to hold on to? Hilarious. Tell me what about your selfish thinking that decided to give up on him? You cause such a downturn in your life, so if you're not able to hold it dear to you now, the more the reason you deserve such. Now, I'm starting to think that he deserve someone better, just not you. Matter of fact, you caused all the unhappiness & now you pretend that the whole world owes you & that you had nothing to do with what caused it in the first place. s.h.i.t.b.a.g.

I can't take all the madness the world has to give, & I won't last a day without you.

Some dance to remember
Some dance to forget

joy

2009-04-09T16:11:00.009+08:00

"Life in this world always doesn't go in the way that you want. That's why you need to be strong."

Baby always send me damn early morning msgs. Well, its pretty good to start of my day knowing someone I adore, adores me back too! When times I feel the weight of the world is on my shoulders, I still know I have you to count on [: Woke up in the afternoon, although I knew I could sleep in more, but I just wanted to upload pictures that's why.

Okiedoks, I'm like home, & feeling really bored right now. Gerald's at some event & Sister just had to go back to CCK today. Poor Joy is alone at home.. I need to redo my nails, the colors have all chipped & it looks really ugly now. There's a party tonight, & bcos its Good Friday week, I don't want to club. But its so tempting. Mhmm... Gotta change & off for church in the evening! Its Maundy Thursday today.

Plans with Girlfriend for this whole week kinda failed, really saddening. Nevermind, we'll definitely make time for each other, right? I need to stay home more often & stop going out so much. Late nights & all, aint good for my body & skin. Rahhh.. Stay home, watch some movies aint that bad right? But damn, school's gonna start. & I have no time for myself :\

.
.
.

Caught in this moment with you, hoping that its everlasting.
Tingling sensations sent from your finger tips shoot like lightning, across every inch of my body, my hair stands on end.
The butterflies in my stomach remind me of the look in your eyes; the twinkling white stars emerged in the deep blue sea.
I lose myself while I see my reflection staring back at me.
Just press your dampened pink lips upon mine, & get lost together through the feelings.
We don't have to find our way back...
In fact, let's dive deeper in ourselves and forever lose the path.

edited \ 11:12pm
I'm finally back home. Almost 2 hours for Maundy Thursday mass at Immaculate Heart church. Then, we went to visit other churches, St Francis Xavier, Christ The King, St Pius The Ten, Holy Spirit, & lastly, Our Lady Of Perpetual Succour. On a lighter note, I finally found the KinderJoy chocolate. Always wanted to try but couldn't find it in some stores. Ohh lala~~ Baby's at Double O now. Pfffttt.. I know he has alcohol in him, so I was telling my Sister now I know how he felt when I go out to drink & club. Heh. Skipped today's party anyway cos I decided to do some penance (: Am proud of myself, haha. Okiedoks, shower & off to bed. Nighty night.

Watch this video & vote if you like it. The title's Robot Dance Contest cos we couldn't think of a name & just rip the words on Justin's teeshirt. Featuring: Jill, En, Justin & I :D
>> THE DREAM MACHINE (click!!)

Ron's birthday pictures last Friday (:

Church of the Immaculate Heart of Mary.

Tie a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree..

In youth we learn
In age we understand

joy

2009-04-08T23:18:00.004+08:00

"When you're with that someone, & then you totally forget all the worries you had, & you just kept smiling, & you just don't know why."

Sunday, only Daddy & I went to church. Went for confession & I was like crying.. Felt kinda embarrassed man :\ After church, went to have lunch then back home. Slept for hours then went down with Sis to get food. It was damn hilarious. We walked past 2 Malay guys, & they were like saying (you know...), hahaha! Then, went to get pancakes, there were this group of boys, they were clearly disturbing his friends saying, "Eh, those are the girls you wna ask for number right?" Sister & I wanted to burst into laughter man. Then, talked to Chris in the night, found out stuff & all. So like fuck, urgh. Sometimes I wish I was just some simple girl, who doesn't smoke or drink, or blah blah blah, the list goes on...

Anyhooo, everything's alright now. & I'm happy. I don't know what to say anymore, but I'm glad you forgave me. I'm sincerely sorry for not treating you the way a girlfriend shld treat you. If you give me more time, I'll prove myself to you alright? You've been a wonderful boyfriend to me, what more can I ask for? I'm thankful & I love you.

Monday, went down to Town to meet Baby. We went to watch The Unborn at Cathay, although he hates horror shows. Haha. So after that, we walked arnd Plaza Sing, then went to Spageddies at Paragon for dinner. Lovely dinner & all, thanks baby. Cabbed back to his place & stayed over. So as usual, I always turn in earlier than him. Also don't know what he do that make him stay up so late all the time, haha! So was sleeping half way & he suddenly told me he bought Macs breakfast for me, & omgosh, he was perspiring like mad. But it was sweeeet, heehee :D Thanks a millionxzxzxzx..

Yesterday, lazed arnd here & there at Gerald's place. In the late afternoon, went down to Vivo to meet En, Justin & Janet. En & I were just disturbing those 2 like mad, it was simply hilarious. Dinner at LJS and Janet had to go. Slacked at Pacific Coffee Company, where En was hooked onto the Chuzzle game. At night, we parted. Trained back with Justin. Came home, oovoo with Huda & Wolfgang. Those 2 forever bullying me, tsk ): Conferenced with En & Justin at like 2am+.

Slept at 3am yesterday, thanks to talking so long on the phone & oovoo-ing with bestfriends. This morning, went all the way down Lakeside to get my hair done. Highlight my hair & all, price was reasonable. But wasn't really happy with the outcome. Oh well... After everything, headed down to Ikea to meet En. Missed the food there alot. It brings back alot of memories where we used to go there after school & just waste our time away [: Walked arnd, then Justin came to meet us. Slacked for awhile, sent En back & we went off.. While on the way home, bumped into Kim. Gosh, she's really different. Apparently, she wasted like 3 years of her life in private school, & now she's stuck with all those 15 year olds in secondary school now. Seeee, choices & decisions you make in life are so crucial in determining what's to come next.

Super sleepy right now. I just feel like keeping my cool, but wth, she's gone too far. Firstly, I did not steal your boyfriend. You both have broken up. You can't even hold him close to yourself & broke off with him, so how can you just push the blame to me? Search deep inside yourself on why you've decided on letting go someone who loves you so much? So don't come crying back when something you once had close to you is gone. My goodnesss... Okie, no point carrying on typing. Off to shower & sleeep. Goodnight earthlings!

Monday peektures (:

I love this picture. Baby looked so blurry & dreamy ^^v

ASH!!

Today's peektures (:

When I look at our picture, I see a picture of love.

When I'm feeling blue
All I have to do is take a look at you

joy

2009-04-04T21:16:00.003+08:00

"I'm afraid we might end up as nothing."

Above sentence was said by you. Proven. I think we really ended up as nothing..

Yesterday, headed down to Town to meet Girlfriend. Shopped a little, got what I wanted & all. After everything, met up with Justin for awhile. Walked over to Shaw, he went to meet his Sister then we went to grab a bite. After that, went down to Ron's chalet. Okay, played drinking games & all. Got super high, drunk after that. I can barely rmb what happened. Music was blast, dancing in the chalet. Vomited in the toilet. Gerald came over. Shit happened. I'm sorryyyy..

Chris & Ron sent us back in the morning 8am+. Tried to sleep, but attempt failed. Slept only for 3 fucking hours. Woke up, talked to Michelle, was crying like some idiot. I asked myself what those tears meant. I knew what it was. Went for lunch with Girlfriend then back home. The whole day was feeling so hot, I don't know if it's me or the weather, irritating. To worsen things, I realised I've got a big bruise on my leg. So ugly now.. ): So news of what happened between Gerald & I really travel fast. Facebook is the number 1 news telecast I swear. PEOPLE, STOP ASKING ME WHAT HAPPENED & ALL! I don't owe any of you all any explanations & whatsoever. If you're my bestfriends, you'll know eventually. But thank you for all those who have gave me encouraging words, I love ya'll.

I really don't know what I'm doing. I'm totally fucking things up! What the bloody hell is wrong with me! Seems like I hate Love now. But I don't actually. But part of me is like, yeah... & now I seriously feeling like puking. Urgh. Headaches are taking over me for hours, I'm trying real hard not to take any painkillers. Promise made, so I'm trying real hard to keep it!

I don't know what to say anymore. I'm sorry to have hurt you ):

Tonight I need your sweet caress, to hold me in the darkness.

If you should fall
Remember you almost had it all

joy

2009-04-03T00:44:00.008+08:00

"Cheating is the biggest mistake in a relationship."

Was out with my Sister yesterday afternoon. The weather was such a killer, felt so hot even in the shopping centres. I'm happy I bought alot of things, I likeeee :D Stumbled across this super comfy brown leather high cuts from Spin The Bottle. $165. Mhmmm, must buy. Supposed to do the skin for my laptop but in the end, I didn't cos I'm confused over so many designs. Wanted to buy my bagpack too. But am confused over 2 particular designs, I shall ask for Girlfriend's opinion soon.

After everything, headed down to Plaza Sing. Jack & Gerald came to meet us. Met Denise to collect the clothes I ordered online, yippeeee yayeee me (: Sister & Jack left, then went over to Gerald's place. Watched Date Movie on his comp, watched half way then he was just such a distraction that we didn't continue the movie. Hahahaha. Didn't stay over so I cabbed back home. & here I am, blogging.

My feet & legs are totally aching right now. But I'm just too tired to do my ipamper. My whole body is still itching from the mosquitoes that bit me at Pasir Ris park. Boy, am I dying.. It's damn bloody itchy & I'm trying not to scratch cos I don't wna leave marks. Urgh urgh!

On a lighter noter, Gerald & I are perfectly alright alrdy. Blame it on me & my stupid actions I always do without thinking. Well, sometimes decisions & choices are to be made in life. I needed to make one, praying that things will go alright. Yet, sometimes you don't know what life has to offer. Gotta take the risk & make the effort to make it bloom. & here I am, trying my very best to be a better girlfriend to my baby. I thank him for having faith in me. I promise you I won't let my mind wonder so much anymore. I love you, I really do..

All my paperbags are thrown all over my bed. I'm too lazy to unpack. I'm gonna throw them all on the floor & take my nice warm shower right now. Goodnight earthlings (:

edited \ 02:54pm
In the early morning, past midnight,

Talked with Girlfriend then conference tgther with Justin for 3 hours (:
Cooked noodles to fill my hunger.
Slept at 5am.
At 9am+, pain in my tummy again!! Tried so hard to resist taking painkillers.

Today,

Feeling happy, no amount of sadness is filling me (yay!)
Shopping with Girlfriend in awhile.
Ron's birthday at Costa Sands Pasir Ris tonight.
Girlfriend staying over <3

Joy's holding happiness in her hands right now ('.') Goodbye.

So dear I love him that with him, all deaths I could endure.

Tell me your secrets, & ask me your questions
Oh lets go back to the start

joy

2009-04-02T12:06:00.005+08:00

"Unconditional love is hard to find."

I'm lost, once again.
I screwed something so beautiful up, someone just shoot me.
I shldn't have underestimated how grave the matter would be.
I shldn't be so selfish.
I hope we can work things out again.

.
.
.

I'm Sorry.

Imma hit the town for some retail therapy in awhile, goodbye.

Don't cry out loud, just keep it inside, learn how to hide your feelings.

I had to find you, tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart

joy

2009-04-01T16:14:00.006+08:00

"Forever the alcoholic."

Yesterday, woke up at 5am, then headed down to Maris Stella convent. Did some paintings & all. It was good, we spent like 5 hours. It was all worth it & for a good cause. But something scary happen. The scraper was attached to this super long pole & I just lean it against the wall. Obviously I thought it would stay still there, but unknowingly, the whole thing fell. Like omg omg omg omg, it went passed me. I could literally feel it touch my skin slightly. I was panting like mad. Thank God it didn't cut me, for sure I'll land up in the hospital. Super freaky.. Went for lunch then back home to sleep. At night, headed down to Pasir Ris park to meet Justin. He has his own amount of problems, I had mine too, but it wasn't much compared to his. I was trying non stop, to actually make him feel happier, which I think I ended up making a fool of myself. Heh. Baileys, Chivas, Green tea (: I disliked Chivas cos it'll make me fly on cloud nine, okay I mean gone, which happened one time. Hahaha, but still I had it.

In the morning, we didn't literally see the sun rise, but we saw colors forming in the skies. It was beautiful. Haven't seen such a splendid image for a veryyy longgg time. Left the place arnd 7am. He went back home, which I know was a super long journey for him, I'm truly sorry. Came back home, washed up, & crashed onto my bed.

The moment I woke up, things were as fucked up as ever. I've been feeling rather * since yesterday. Eric's fucking pissing me off, to the very end I swear. I don't even dare to talk to Gerald at all. So like wow, everything's screwed. & I'm the cause of it. Also, when I was out, Mom used to call me asking me when I'll be back. Surprisingly, she didn't last night. & when she came into my room in the afternoon, she didn't say much. It was then when I realised no matter how my world arnd me crumbles, I know my Mom is the person whom will love me forever.

Today's April's Fool Day. I don't even have any mood to prank anyone, pfft. Started a call with En over MSN. It was damn funny. I could hear Tim's dog, Bombs, a bulldog, panting away, super cuteeee :D So like yeah, I have no idea what to say to Gerald anymore, totally fucked up. I'm so hungry, I can just die. Haven't eaten since like what, yesterday 4pm. Urgh.. Fuck fuck fuck. I hate myself. Kayyy bye.

.
.
.

If I'm hungry in the middle of the night, would you cook for me? If I'm feeling cold, would you hug me tight? If I'm feeling bored, would you come play with me? If I've fallen sick, would you look after me? If I'm feeling sad, would you cheer me up happily? If I'm worn out, would you lie with me in bed? If I say yes, would you agree with me? If I go onto another island, would you come with me? Would you hear my favorite songs with me over & over again? Would you catch my favorite shows together with me? Would you tell me I'm beautiful? Would you promise to never ever lie to me? ...Could I be your only one forever?

edited \ 10:36pm
En & Tim just pranked me. I totally fell for it, damn those 2 man, forever one. Roar. Brother bought me an air cooler for my room today, thank you <3 Went down with sis just now to get food. Came back home, & watch tveeee.. I'm superduper tired right now. My eyes are half close alrdy. I feel bad not letting Janet come over, but I had no choice cos I'm too tired. I totally need my rest. Shopping tmrw, yippeeee yayeeee meeeeee. Goodnight world [:

Like a shooting star, I will go the distance.

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are

joy

2009-03-30T02:24:00.007+08:00

"Life is fragile & often unfair."

Life's Fantastic.
Family, Boyfriend, Friends = Perfect.

Look at the time now. I'm talking to Gerald & Justin. I'm super weary now yet I can't seem to go to bed. Late nights, bring much thoughts running through my head. I've live almost 18 years of my life for now, I've finished my childhood education, I've finished my primary school education, & I'm done with my secondary school education. What's in store for me is my poly education. I'm looking forward to it. So grateful for everyone who has been there for me throughout these entire years of my life. I'm tired, I'm going to bed soon. I love ya'll <3

edited \ 4.45pm
I'm still feeling sleepy. Have been chatting online & watching tveee so far. A boring day for me today. Have been talking to Justin recently. Seriously reminded me of the past where I had to go through so much heartbreaks & all. I've been through it & am out of it. Seeing him really down, have also made me unhappy. I've said so much to him, I really hope he'll get out of this incessant agony soon. "Your future happiness may well depend on your ability to leave the past behind." Well, your sissy & I are always here for you. Don't you feel happy, we bring you much joy, right right? :D Hahahaaha.

Okay, I'm still in my nightie. I've yet to shower.. On a lighter note to make myself happy, I feel that comparing myself to other girls, I may have my flaws, I may not be perfect, but I always have confidence. Even my friend said so. *Jumps for joy* (: Because you know girls nowadays want to be like who & who, & they want to have that kind of skin who & who is having, that kind of hair, that kind of nose, eyes, breasts & the list goes on.. & what's worst, is hearing those words Plastic Surgery coming out of their mouths. If you tell me Lana/Adriana/Giselle/Paris etc is beautiful, yes but I tell you what's even more beautiful.. It's my purest Mom. Hmmm say a celebrity; Eva Longoria without make up on, & people like me who doesn't need to show the world what we are because we are who we are.. & because celebrities are just like any one of us. & because they are celebrities that's why people tend to look up to them as 'wow', but fact is, I feel that with their status taken down, they are just like anyone you would see on the streets at any part of the world.

On a random note, I feel like eating the apple pie, from Macdonalds now.

This is Bombs, damn cute!

Sing me a song which brings out the nature of love.

Stay with me until my life is through
& on that day please take me home with you

joy

2009-03-29T14:50:00.002+08:00

"Don't let a boy rule your life."

Slept at 12am on Saturday, couldn't sleep. Have always hated the eyes-are-shut-yet-brain-still-working feeling. Suddenly arnd 5am+, Gerard called me saying my Brother was drunk. So I couldn't sleep, waited for him to come back. Baby was awake still (as usual), so he accompanied me. Tried really hard to put my Brother to bed, cos he was making hell lot of noise! I didn't know what to do, I just simply cried. The funniest thing he said was, "Why butter factory got no butter?" Hahahha. Oh well... My worst drunkard state was the one I went drinking over at Michelle's place & Tim C. had to sent me straight to my doorstep. & I ended up sleeping in the toilet where Mom found me there when she came back, okay that's horrid. Tried to go back to sleep after that but attempt failed.

Yesterday, woke up at 6.15am, was super tired. Had the actual roadshow at Scape. I was giving out flyers & all with Sister. Parading down Town with my crocodile float, I tell you, wasn't that easy. I have many people staring at me, but yet I have alot of pple whom took photos with me [: Talked alot too, to pass time, standing was just so tiring. After everything ended, headed down to Cedele at Wheelock to meet En & Justin. Talked & slacked there, my soon to be RP kids! Had only my sandwich for dinner, gaaahh.. Soon after, one by one had to go off. So the poor little Joy had no choice to go home as she was also lazy to meet other pple to kill time. Talked to Baby & he totally made my journey back home a short one.

Yesterday was Earth Day, hope everyone did play their part. I hope not only for a day, but for the rest of the days. SO GERALD LEE, STOP USING THE AIR CON 24/7! :D

Went for mass this morning, was super sleepy. Had lunch after that & back home. The same every Sunday. Am really really bored & sleepy right now. Brother went to teach tuition & Mommy went for facial. She kept insisting when I'm going for mine, pfft. So anyway, Malvin saw me with my crocodile float yesterday. I think some pple I know saw me too man, gosh.. Alrighty, I'm off to rest. Toodles ^^v

edited \ 07:08pm
Just changed my blog song. So in love with Mariah Carey - I Stay In Love [: Okay so, Brother cooked dinner just now which was very lovely, along with beer. I didn't finish my beer & Brother was like, "Why you don't wanna drink, aint you an alcoholic?" Walau.. Hahah! Okay, can't wait for Wednesday, where I'm going to do shopping with Sister! Woohooo ~~ I'm super bored now I can just kill myself. Someone entertain me please?

Life is a stage & all of us are actors.

I catch my breath
& fall in love again

joy

2009-03-27T22:29:00.005+08:00

"I'm glad you guys moved on."

As usual, no matter how exhausted I am, my sleeping habit is just screwed. Ended up sleeping at 3am today. I need to change my body clock back before school starts if not I know I'm gonna die :\ Having ample rest is a must for me. Gaahh.. Home all day today for me. Very boring, some more alone at home. Then, its when I wish my boyfie was here with me. I dislike the fact I don't get to see him every single day. I dislike the fact I stay at the other end of him. But I love the fact he loves me the way I love him. & I love the fact that though his presence isn't here with me all the time, I know he always stays in my heart (: So just now I was kinda angry with my Mommy bcos she didn't wash the top I wanna wear for work tmrw. But now, its fine. I shldn't get angry cos I have to understand that Mommy's a busy woman & I shld learn to understand more.

Planned with Girlfriend all the things we gotta do before school starts. Every girly things we have to do that makes us happy & all. So the whole of second week of April is BFF day with Glenys Soh Wan Ling. Heheee :D

I suddenly feel like playing those games boys love to play. I want to try to play L4D. Anyone?

1. So in love with River Island. I wonder when they'll ever slash prices :\
2. Too much alcohol intake, need to cut down.
3. Need to lose weight badly, SWIM & GYM with Girlfriend.
4. Hope to G-Mask my lappy soon.
5. I want to get a Rosary tattoo.
6. Am missing (alot) of pple terribly.

Ask me what love is, I'll say "you".
I have a fucking awesome boyfriend.

The skies are dark, bcos its night time. The fan is blowing directly at my face, I'm missing that special someone, I'm not IM-ing anyone at the moment, my room looks pretty but I need to do some tidying up, my phone is beside me & no music is playing. Okay I'm too bored & I have to turn in early cos of work tmrw.. So toodles now. Rahh rahh rahh! Nighty night.

CLICK ON PICTURE. COME JOIN ME, I'LL SEE YOU THERE! :D

It's a love story, baby just say yes.

If they could love like you & me
Imagine what the world could be

joy

2009-03-26T21:58:00.009+08:00

"I'll do whatever it takes to make you happy."

Like a shooting star
I will go the distance, I will search the world
I will face its harms
I don't care how far, I can go the distance
Till I find my hero's welcome
Waiting in your arms...

I'M BACK FROM THE CHALET!
Tuesday, headed down to Tampines, walked arnd then Muttaqin came to meet me. Was starving, so had Mos Burger for lunch. En & Tim came to meet us soon after and we bused down to the chalet at Changi. The chalet was big, 2 floors, 4 rooms, and a big open space. First night, as usual the boys plus Felicia & Janet went night cycling. The rest stayed at the chalet. Justin was drunk so he didn't go, he started to emo, therefore I started to drink more & emo too. Gaaah, its his fault!!! En & I took care of him, and talk to him. I was gone, everything was blurry & all, which explains the cuts on my body including my face!!! ): Very saddening. I've got many big bites on myself too, hate it too the max. I actually forgot what I cried over when I was drunk so let's just not talk about it. They put me to sleep and I slept for 3 hours. Woke up at 6am+ yesterday, then the guys came back.

Washed up and went to rest a little. Not having enough sleep is bad enough for my body & soul. In the end, didn't get to sleep much. Played Risk, cards, Tumbling Tower. Webcammed with En & Justin on his lappy, he uploaded all on Facebook which I look totally umglam in, booohooo.. At night, barbecued again, the whole kitchen was also messed up. Daryl brought his projector down, so we watch movies shone on the wall. Pretty awesome. Left the place arnd 10pm+ with En, Justin & Muttaqin, cos Brendan's dad could sent us back home. Went to stay over at baby's house. Saw his new hair cut, hahahaha, so cute. He looked really different now [: So spend time with him and all, & as usual, couldn't really sleep much when he's arnd, cos he's like my antidote, always keeping me alive, hahaha!

Went to Holland V for lunch then back to his place to sleep more, heh. In the evening, he went for his rugby training & I went to Lot1. Waste my time there, then Daddy came to pick me up & sent me back home. I'm home, I'm exhausted. But I'm happy, cos I finally bought my Princess Disney clock, so pretty! I need to stop spending money. Moolahs depleting, die die die ): Hmmm oh well, I miss Gerald alrdy. Tmrw's Friday, how fast the week would soon come to an end. Saturday's work for me the entire day. Alright, I have to go take my shower and turn in early. Goodnight earthlings! Loveeee...

MORE CHALET PHOTOS ON MY FACEBOOK. (CLICK!!)

CHALET PART I

CHALET PART II

Fill the paper with the breathings of your heart.

I used to write your name
& put it in a frame

joy

2009-03-24T00:40:00.006+08:00

"You have me in your arms baby."

Sunday, went for evening mass with Brother then took public transport down to Grammy's hse cos Brother wanted to borrow her car instead. Had dinner & back home. While ordering food, the man serving me totally freaked me out. Supposedly to meet Girlfriend, Zhen & Ruiming but didn't in the end. Gosh, am so worried for my Girlfriend, I hope she's fine cos seriously I know most guys out there are bastards, I alrdy know a few.

Girlfriend, please cheer up? You deserve better like what you guys always tell me, & so I've moved on, I'm sure you all are proud & happy for me now, so I'm just waiting to see the choice you make. Always there for you, your BFF, your girlfriend, your shopping partner, your drinking mate, anything you want me to be!!! It's heartbreaking to see my bestfriends in despair, there's nothing much I can do to improve the situation, advices are all I can give & that you'll be in my prayers always. Lurveee Euuuuu <3

Yesterday, headed down to Temasek Club with Sister as usual. Met Ivan for awhile to pass him some stuff. Haven't seen him for some time and he looked really different. Tan, swim, lunch, karaoke, home.. While we were in the pool, we just talked about many stuff. Talked about Jack, and Gerald, friends, life and all. Its so hard to hold someone you love so dearly these days. They either want to settle for something better or something else. Told her about Gerald, how I actually longed for someone like him. He has picked me up through my previous fall and how he turned my world arnd, sprinkling sparkly dust of happiness all arnd me right now. I don't want to change anything for him. No matter how crooked my life may turn out to be, I still tell myself over & over again, fairytales & happyendings are what I've always believed in. Because that's probably the only thing in this world that differs & stands alive in the darkness of what the entire universe is right now.. I love my boyfriend and I know clearly he feels the same way for me too, right darling?

Went over to Grammy's place for dinner. It was so good having my family arnd me. Went to Lot1 to have Yami Yogurt after, I love it soooo much, everyone must go try it if you haven't :D Came back home, was so sleepy yet had to settle so many things. I need to hit the salon some time soon, probably a week before school starts with my Girlfriend. I wanna highlight my hair this time, heehee. Okiedoks, I'm half asleep right now, and msging boyfriend. I shall go lie down on my bed, but baby's bed is softer & more comfy than mine! Humph.. Goodnight earthlings!

Tell me the first thing most guys asked when they get to know you is, "Are you attached?" I just find it funny. Well, for now, I'll gladly say I am (: So I was telling this guy I am attached, & he was like "Please don't let him take advantage of you or else I heart pain." Errrr okay, I was just stunned. Retarded -.-

edited \ 01:41pm
Uploaded peeektures, yay (: Had a good rest last night. I have to go shower and pack my bag for chalet in awhile. I hope chalet would be an awesome one! On a lighter note, I'm eating marshmallows now. Ahhh, loveee it. I think I like alot of things in life, hahaha. Take care peeps, misses!

Brother, Sister & I fell in love with this when we saw it :D

Ahhh, my Daddy's forever so cute!

Yami Yogurt.

When you need someone to love you, here I am.

Buy me a rose
Call me from work

joy

2009-03-21T10:24:00.007+08:00

"We used to be best buddies."

Yesterday, woke up kinda early. Headed down to meet Sis at SMU, we were way too early. So baby's results was released & he passed!! I'm really proud of you (: Your hard work totally paid off! You don't need to go army, hahahaha! Thank God SMU has air con, so work was not that bad. After work, went over to Gerald's place. Catch some rest & we went down for dinner in the evening. Girlfriend & Zhen called to meet, apparently they wanted to drink so they called me along. Cabbed down to Girlfriend's place & we went to Railway Mall, together with Ruiming. Wanted to go to Harry's but in the end we ended up at Bojangles at Beauty World there. J.D coke as usual <3 E33, gin tonic, blah blahhhh... I'm an alcohol addict, someone please kill me.

I used to be those who abused alcohol to forget my sorrows and all, I think I've stopped doing that alrdy. I'm happy now. But my girlfriends are unhappy, & they seemed to have problems which I know have been haunting them. I think about it, & I laughed to myself. Perhaps this is a phase of life. I've been through it, I've grown out from it, & I've learnt. I really hope both of my girls can just make choices that will lead them to the path of happiness. When most pubs started to close, we went to slack outside Bojangles. So outside the lanshop, there were police & Zheng Qiang told me he saw me, well I didn't -.- So he told me actually a group of guys beat up his friends that's why. Boys & fights = why!?!?!?!?

Okiedoks, so Gerald & Kenneth came down to pick me up :D Saved on cab fare cos Kenneth drove, whoooo. Crashed over at baby's place, we both ended up only having I think less than 3 hours of sleep. Roarrrr. I love you darling.. Awesome time spent with you! You retarded, crazy, up to no good, insane, blur, yet lovely boy. Hehex. Anyway, he had to go for his rugby stuff in the morning, so I had to go too. Cabbed back home, cab driver was really nice, he talked to me, lent me read his papers and lastly, the air con was damn shiok. Hahaha! Okay, I'm back to my boring room. Look at the time now, I ought to be in bed still. I'm sleepy but I can't sleep. I'm having minor headaches. I'm feeling cranky. Ah fuck, I think it must be "why-must-I-be-so-far-away-from-my-boyfriend" feeling :\

Sometimes they say ignorance is bliss. What do you think? But when you tend to find out and chance upon stuff, how can you call that ignorance huh? You wish so badly, you would just have to live in your own fantasy world & not be bothered about the shitty stuff, but when things are make known to you, you accept it. You can tell pple this and that, but your true feelings deep within you, will never lie.

edited \ 09:22pm
Supposed to meet Jane in the evening, but plans were all canceled. Slept for awhile & woke up at 4pm. Got ready & all, headed down to E!Hub at Downtown East with Mommy & Brother. Mommy wanted us to try this chicken rice claimed by many it was good. I don't really like chicken rice but the one there wasn't that bad [: I'm back home, aloneeee. I was telling Mommy how lonely I feel when I'm home alone. Sigh. My room's in a mess, I need to start tidying it up, but I'm so lazy. I wanna spend my next week fruitfully. I'm off to watch tv, bye!

My favorite!

PS3 addict, then always ignore me, haha!

Do you believe that if you have the will not to do something, you really will not do it?

I'm starting to believe
It should be illegal to deceive a woman's heart

joy

2009-03-19T23:24:00.004+08:00

"You will always be Joy the perfection."

Yesterday, home all day, bored to the max.

Today, headed down all the way to Boon Lay, NTU, which was more than a hour ride. Freaking far ): Work started kinda late cos something cropped up, so it was kinda good, could relax at first. Met this guy whom was an emcee for some event, told him I spotted him at Heartland Mall too, hahaha! He earn alot just for an event for a day, which is so awesome! Slacked a little during work, FASIO was having some event, so we went to try the mascara on our eyelashes. Daddy came to fetch me when I'm done & we went down to Jurong Point for lunch at Billy Bombers with Grammy & Sis. We celebrated Grammy's birthday in advance that was actually tmrw. Haven't been there in ages & everything's so different.. So shopped a little & Daddy sent me back home. Skipped clubbing in the night cos my friends all don't wanna go, so oh well.. Surprisingly, Marc's going to club tonight. Conferenced with Mich & Gerald at night, love those 2 to the maxxxx <333

So pple I don't rly know have been telling me they saw me at clubs, but I have no idea that they're there at all balls. Gosh.. Anyhooo, I just showered, feeling all so clean now. I'm naked (: I can smell myself, oohhhlalalaaaa ^^v I'm super exhausted. I have no idea what to type anymore.. Baby's results are out tmrw, so worried for him. I hope he do well. & baby you know that I'll always be behind you, with pompoms and short skirt, cheering for you!! Hahaha, love you sweetie.

Note to myself: Need to revamp wardrobe, throw away old clothes & buy new ones (:

With the music playing on, you're all that's on my mind.

I'm gonna step out of this lingerie
With nothing but your tshirt on

joy

2009-03-18T03:13:00.006+08:00

"Be close with someone who makes you happy. But be closer with someone who can't be happy without you."

Sudden rush of mixed emotions, as usual ):
BLANK OUT.

Dragged myself out of bed damn early in the morning. So seldom, rarely in fact, that I wake up not being able to navigate myself pass the living room to the kitchen to shower, hahaha! Work was at NUS today. It rained heavily in the morning but weather was a killer when it turned afternoon, so freaking hot. Plus having the time of the month can really worsen things. NUS had no aircon & we were practically perspiring throughout. Roar! So they had a bazaar there too, eyes were totally fixated on the stuff there!

After everything, headed down to Holland V to meet my baby, Hazel, Kenneth & Russell for lunch at Breko. From there, we went to catch the movie Race To Witch Mountain, wouldn't say it's a good show, but I like the UFO. I wish I can be in one, & I thought aliens look like slimy white and green creatures with a pair of big eyes & wobbly hands and legs, I thought wrong, but who ever know? [: After the show, we went for dinner then went to watch another show, Coming Soon, kinda freaky. Gerald was so cute, he was practically covering his eyes all the time in the theatres. I was way braver than him, minus like 2 screams or so during the show. Hahaha (: Back to slack at Gerald's hse. As usual, Russell & Kenneth were playing his PS3. Cuddled with baby, love him to ultra bigggiee bits. Managed to asked my Brother to come fetch me. I'm sucha fortunate girl, heeheee.. Tell me you're jealous of me? HA!

Came home, suddenly felt like (insert all the chapalang emotions). Pathetic me, when will I ever stop thinking so much & just live for the moment, damn. Mich called, talked to her & stuff, like she & Girlfriend are the only pple I can really pour out how I feel about stuff. I know I'm a lucky girl who have everything I ever wanted, just what am I not satisfied with? (I don't have the answer to that question, yet.) Shit ballxzx, I realised I forgot to reply smses since evening to my friends! & I found baby's wallet in my bag! I have no idea how he can live without it. Nevermind, more reasons to meet him soon!

Okiedoks, look at the time now. I'm the biggest procrastinator ever. I can't seem to sleep, but if I were to lay beside you, with the gentlest touch of your fingertips brushing against my skin, with soft kisses you give, warm hugs & the thought of you loving me, that would be a whole different story (;

I think I heard either my Mommy's room door or my Sister's room door just make a bang. But what the hell, both doors are close. Okay, I'm totally freaked out. I can hear sounds coming from my window. Ah fuck, I'm trying to convince myself its the wind, knowing that my curtains are flying here & there. Gerald's suddenly awake, yay, Imma go talk to my sweetheart now, byeebyeee.

edited \ 10:01pm
1. Bling my lappy a little, happy happy me (:
2. Missing my boyfriend, alot.
3. Dreading work tmrw.
4. People I don't really know can spot me when I hit the clubs, but I can't, unfair.
5. Am alone at home, again.
6. Hate period to the maxxxxxzxxz.
7. Sick & tired of eating maggie meee.
8. Having a need to get more new clothes- shopping!
9. Need to meet my lovelies soon.
10. SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP, BYE.

All I ever wanted comes right down to you.

I'm just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

joy

2009-03-16T14:34:00.004+08:00

"I am sure we can make it through."

Yesterday, went to church in the morning, had lunch then back home. Took my nap before heading down to Town to meet Zhen & Jane. From there, we cabbed to Zouk. Before heading in, went to buy some alcohol & back into Zouk. My high wore off fast cos I dance too much I think. HAHA damn. Girlfriends & I hogged the stage (: Though music wasn't that good, dancing with friends was awesome. Surprised to see my juniors there though.. Jane went back early, sigh.. Anyway, danced like mad. Then this Malay guy started dancing with me, so I just went with the flow but it felt so weird knowing I have a boyfriend, so I went up on the stage to dance with Zhen. After awhile, he asked me to dance with him again, but I rejected him. Hahaha, felt bad but whatever. I love my baby boy okay, whole night my stupid Girlfriends kept telling me, "Joy, you have a boyfriend uh." What the hell, I know that. Left early with Girlfriend, Zhen, Chester, Nathaniel, Kevin & Zhen's friend. Slacked by the road side, then Mommy came to pick me up. My tummy was hurting like a bitch, I seriously could faint. Came home, washed up & hit the bed..

HAPPY 1ST MONTH ANNIVERSARY GERALD LEE WEI-EN.
See I put the "-" in your name okay! Hahaha. I admit that from time to time, I'm feeling insecure & think I'm gonna lose my mind but I don't let it show. I don't think I'll ever understand that our love should never have a happy ending so I'm really gna try my best to let you know how much you actually mean to me. But when the final day comes I know the angels, they will see my smile & if they wna know the reason I will tell them why, & my reason is, cause I love you too much to let you go, I'm afraid falling hard to the ground cause you've pick up from my previous fall by proving your love & concern towards me. Thank you for everything for all this time I was with you, you always make me a happy girl. I love you much..

Right now, I'm still feeling sleepy in this rain-wet-cozy weather.. My stomach is grumbling, I need food! Times like this, I wish my maid didn't have to go back. Having had a maid for 17 years of my life, & suddenly not having any now, gosh, the feeling's terrible. I need to be independent :\ Okay, tveee time, ciaos!

If you promise to stay, I'd promise you eternity.

If life is a highway
I wanna ride it all night long

joy

2009-03-14T23:59:00.002+08:00

"You have a really strong personality."

Thursday night, was supposed to turn in early, but ended up webcamming with my boy (: I love him to bits, always so blur & adorable. Hahaha!

Woke up at 4am+, cos Brother said he could fetch me to Grammy's hse, so I took up that offer. Apparently, baby was still awake, always stay up so late don't know for what. Tell me what do boys actually do at this time? Haha. Webcam with him for abit then left hse. Went to the carpark, & I saw a black cat. What came to my mind was, "Isn't today Friday the 13th?" It indeed was. I told myself it was a blessing instead :D The superstition of Friday the 13th holds to be a day of good or bad luck; & beware of black cats, walking under ladders & stepping on cracks in footpaths. Oh oh, I learn a new word- Paraskevidekatriaphobics, which means, people afflicted with a morbid, irrational fear of Friday the 13th.

Went back to sleep when I reached Grammy's place. Got ready for work at 11am, was super sleepy man. Headed down to SIM. Took a bus, dropped at Sixth Avenue, & we cabbed to SIM. Sister & I are lazy pple, hahaha! So I was out at SIM doing the SportsOn roadshow with the rest of my friends. It wasn't much but I had good time. Time passed by real quick & instead of taking pictures of those who signed up, we kept snapping ourselves much more instead [: After everything ended, went over to Gerald's place. Rested there for awhile & Zhen just had to call saying she was at Holland V alrdy. Got out of bed, & we went to meet her there. Had Sushi Tei for dinner, then came along Russell, Aloysious & Eudora. Went back to his place, slacked for a bit then cabbed home..

Was thinking so much in the cab. I wish I didn't got to know what I stumbled across. I really wish ignorance is bliss, but I doubt so. Sometimes things are alrdy perfect & sweet, but just a little leak will make everything change. I cursed, I sweared, I cried, I whined, I just wish I didn't know anything. But matter of fact, truth always surfaces. Well, your past might be your past, what you adore & do is uncontrollable, but if you let those enter someone's(dearly loved ones) present, which you know will totally disturbed her/him, you're being so selfish & ignorant.. Enough said, bottling things up was always my thing. Thanks Michelle darling for being an listening ear, I love you. We'll do everything that makes us happy when you're back!

I was at Grammy's place just now. She & Aunt Eve plus family went for holiday in Macau. Sometimes I really do admire my Grandmother, though age is catching up with her, she's still as vibrant, strong & lastly, happy. She loves traveling arnd the world, I so love that. Roarrrr!! Then Sister came back with her boyf, so I went off. All the way down to Kembangan, then Brother fetch me to another Grandmother's hse. Celebrated Ruth's farewell, as she's going to Orlando for 4 months & also her advance birthday party!

Okiedoks, am really sleepy. Liverpool - Man U, 4-1 ): I've not taken my shower yet, Gerald says I'm dirty ): Okay bye, goodnight.

Seeeeee where he's looking! His PS3 more impt than me :\

All I ever needed was what I got from you. He's no you..

& not seeing that loving you
Was all I was trying to do

joy

2009-03-12T12:16:00.006+08:00

"Life is like a mirror. Whatever people do unto you. I guess it's okay to behave the same back."

Monday afternoon, was on the phone with Sister so in the end, we both decided to meet. Hit Bugis to do some shopping, rather than stoning at home. Told myself not to, but in the end, things were so irresistable. I've bought many accessories especially, ahhhhh :D Hahaha! Happy happy me! Well well, I got home & continued my buying online. I just want to own so many pretty things! My closet is bursting. Boohooo me.

Tuesday, headed down to RP to meet Daddy & Girlfriend for enrolment. The queue was madness, I spent a total of 6hours there! Standing for so long & all, it was kinda frustrating. So I got my Fujitsu Lifebook S6520 laptop there, yay! Went to configure it & when I left, 2 guys asked for my email. Hmmmm.... So anyway, Daddy went to buy insurance for my laptop!!! Cos he claims that I'm a very forgetful person who leaves things here & there. Yeah, I know I lose my wallet & stuff when I'm young. But I've grown, roar roar! Went for dinner at Breeks with both of them & back home.

Yesterday, home all day for me. Was settling stuff on my laptop & all.. Nothing much, bored the whole day. Spent my moolahs on bags this time, online shopping is so addictive it kills. If both going out, & staying home can drained my account, oh man, I really don't know what to do :\ At night, went to Ubi for prata with Brother & Uncle George. Couldn't sleep so ended up sleeping at 3am.

Gosh, time flies. It's Thursday alrdy! I just got out of bed. I could actually sleep in more, but nah.. I used to ask my Brother, "Why you always wake up so early?" & he'll reply me, "Why need to sleep so much when I've got eternity of rest in Heaven." Hahaha! Love that Brother of mine, always making me laugh to his smallest actions & things he say.. Which will make he say I'm so easily amused. So anyhooo, I'm working with Ti/t for this upcoming job. The schedule for it is totally spread out. Big thanks to my Sister who offered me the job, the pay is way much better than any other.. Hohoho (: Okiedoks, Imma go shower & watch avatar. Hmmm, I think I need to buy more new nighties! Ciaos.

Then again, things like this always make a girl feel good.
Ron: Btw, before I go sleep. Do you know you're like the cutest girl I've seen today while working.
Ron: Haha, anyway, are you mixed blood or something? Cause Joy Molina is your real name right? Russian mixed?
Joy: Nope. Filipino, Chinese, tad of Spanish.
Ron: Hahaha okay, you know why I picked Russian?
Ron: Because Russians are pretty.
Joy: Awww, thanks!

I will make you see all the things that your heart needs to know.

Who needs the world
When I've got you

joy

2009-03-09T13:16:00.004+08:00

"You're the best thing that happened to me."

Yesterday, church in the morning then went for blood donation after. Before, I was shivering like mad, cos I was really scared. Before they inserted the needle, I teared. Don't laugh okay! Roar. So the nurse was telling me not to look at it. Luckily they injected painkillers, if not I think I'll probably faint from pain [: I was below the the weight of 50kg so could only donate a certain amount of blood, haha! Nevertheless, I felt a great sense of satisfaction. Rested for awhile, had refreshments then went to see Daddy's new hse which is in the process of building..

Last night, was on the phone with Michelle. Talked to her for more than a hour, conference with Gerald for awhile too, but he was apparently busy so didn't talk to him for long. Was so sleepy but couldn't sleep early last night. Well, shit kinda happened. I just don't like it when you ignore me, like you can't even decide what you want. Perhaps I was being too sensitive. But I can't believe I had this pain in my heart after so long of not experiencing it. I started tearing, the music plays & coincidentally, it plays "sent the tears right down my face". Gaaah, nevermind. Forget it, I'm pretty much fine now after a good rest.

Home day for me today! Actually there's prawning with Baby, Kenneth & Hazel but I don't have the mood to go out. I think its gonna pour like mad soon, the wind is ultra strong. I'm listening to music in this cold & stormy rainy weather, nice. My eyes are itching like mad now.. I'm off to take my shower & watch Avatar! (:

Forgive what you cannot forget
& forget what you cannot forgive

I'm missing Gerald again! The more I think of him the more I want him to stay by my side, I love you. I love you, all I can say is that. Well, I'll love you anyway, fuck the rest of the universe colliding into oblivion, fuck the recession that's devouring everyone, & most certainly fuck it all. I just need you, I don't care for anything else apart from my family, friends & education, you're the only thing I would ever want to perceive as real <3

Sorry for some bad quality pictures!

They covered it so I wouldn't have to see the needle.

... In the end, OMG, damn big needle!!

Do I ever cross your mind, in the warm sunshine?

Tomorrow can never be
Cause yesterday is all that fills my mind

joy

2009-03-07T23:59:00.007+08:00

"You will never discover new oceans, unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore."

Yesterday, headed down to Baby's hse in the afternoon. Lazed here & there then cabbed down to Cine. Apparently, we were early say had to wait for Kenneth, and his girlfrind, Hazel. Went to Heeren, saw the NUM mannequins wearing the tanktop which stated Holland V & the other Pasir Ris. What a coincidence, cos that's where Gerald & I reside in. Hahaha! Hazel photoshopped the photo, damn hilarious! Caught the show Marley and Me with them. Rather emotional show, cos the dog died in the end ): Had Botak Jones for dinner then parted with Kenneth & Hazel. Went over to Gerald's place then headed down to Holland V to meet Russell & Eudora. Slacked arnd & Brother came to pick me up arnd midnight. Went to Katong to have supper then back home..

Today, went to St Joseph (Bukit Timah) for the way of the cross. "Behold, O kind and most sweet Jesus, I cast myself on my knees in Thy sight, and with the most fervent desire of my soul, I pray and beg Thee to impress upon my heart lively sentiments of faith, hope, and charity, with true repentance for my sins, and a firm desire of amendment, while with deep affection and grief of soul I contemplate Thy five most precious Wounds, having before my eyes that which David spoke in prophecy: "They pierced My hands and My feet; they have numbered all my bones." God has loved us from all eternity. So He says, "Remember I first loved you. You had not come to be, nor did the world yet exist, but I loved you already. From all eternity I have loved you." Wanted to go see Gerald but in the end, went back to Katong for dinner with Brother & the rest then home sweet home!

Church tmrw, gotta turn in now, goodnight earthlings..

First station - Jesus is Condemned to Death

Second station - Jesus takes up His Cross

Third station - Jesus falls for the first time

Fourth station - Jesus meets His Afflicted Mother

Fifth station - Simon the Cyrenian helps Jesus carry the Cross

Sixth station - St. Veronica wipes the face of Jesus

Seventh station - Jesus falls for the second time

Eighth station - Jesus meets the women of Jerusalem who weep for Him

Ninth station - Jesus falls for the third time

Tenth station - Jesus is stripped of his garments

Eleventh station - Jesus is nailed to the Cross

Twelfth station - Jesus dies on the Cross

Thirteenth station - Jesus is taken down from the Cross and given to His Mother

Fourteen station - Jesus is laid in the tomb

Put hatred away, & you will hold happiness in your hands.

You asked of me, what's love
& so I answered, the answer lies in you

joy

2009-03-05T22:08:00.005+08:00

"When love is real, it finds a way."

Yesterday night, was on the phone with Mich. So happy, one minute that girl's so sad, the next, we both could actually be so happy. You make me super high la babe, I totally miss you! ): Gossiping, talking about boys, trying to set up plans, etc... Are all so funny, hehe. Cheer up okay girl? Always here for you, promise.

Home all day again today.. Wanted to ask anyone out but Daddy asked to have dinner in the evening so decided to just stay home. Watched 5 chapters of Avatar [: Ordered this Victoria Secret bag, but suddenly it went out of stock. Gosh, I'm so upset, I like it alot!!!!! Humph. So anyway, bored the whole day. Dinner with Daddy & Brother in the evening. Prayed the divine office with Brother, I kinda like it, I hope to do it often! Suddenly I stumbled upon some stuff, which I don't wish to disclose & hope what I heard is nothing but lies. I don't want to see myself all shattered again... I believe in you, I trust in you. But not knowing all your past, I get all fuzzy up. Changing my nail color to purple & pink now. Hohoho.. Baby's prawning with his friends now. Coincidentally, Nigel's prawning too! But I doubt they both know each other so oh well, nevermind.

In love, we all take risks. We all fall down.
But you should never be scared to go that extra mile.
A little further, a little crazier.
Because in the end,
The sweetest love is the one that made you lose control.

Anyhoo, I can't wait for tmrw to see my darling! Hee feeling so happy! If only we could spend this weekend together but that's not possible cos I have things on. It's okie (: But y'know I wouldn't miss any chance to spend time with you. Smooches!

& I'll end this as how I always end my letters to you... I LOVE YOU.

Fujitsu L1010.

PINK! So pretty but they say the specs isn't that good ):

Fujitsu Lifebook S6420.

Fujitsu Lifebook S6520. Probably getting this, but I don't think they have white ):

If I go on a trip with no sailboats & lifejackets, would you come with me?

When I hit the club all the girls show me love
While I'm at the bar, got drunk by the jug